I know that you’ve been hiding this a long time. I get that you’re extremely excited, and freed by the admission of such a secret. I respect your courage, and I will be your friend as long as you’ll have me.
But why is it necessary to come out of the closet on fire? You never had a lisp or flounced before, and you certainly never called your brother “girl” before… Explain to me why the complete and utter change just because you told the world you’re gay?
I know tons of other men who were fresh out of the closet, and none of them ever started insisting on being called “she”.
—thutch a bitch…
This article appears in Nov 26 – Dec 2, 2009.
Personally I think that the “flamer personality” displayed by a large number of homosexual men is a reaction to “being oppressed for so long”. They feel like they have to make up for years of suppressing their homosexuality by having a larger than life personality afterwards. I know a lot of gay men and it seems to only be the ones who came out of the closet later in life that have the “flamer personality”. The sad part is, it is now politically correct to be a loud obnoxious in-your-face you-have-to-like-the-fact-that-I’m-gay homosexual male (not saying that all gay men are like this), but it is completely unacceptable to be a loud obnoxious in-your-face you-have-to-like-the-fact-that-I’m-straight heterosexual male. I think if everyone could keep their personalities (at least the sexuality part of it) in check, everyone would get along just fine.
Insisting on being called “she” when they are male sounds a lot more like Transexuality than Homosexuality. Maybe saying they’re gay is a baby step toward revealing their true identity? Either way, suck it up.
It is sometimes easier to embody all of those gay stereotypes than have to continuously come out to everyone around you. People in the straight community may not realise that you don’t just come out once, you have to come out over and over again. I know that when I came out the first time, I went a little butch hoping that people I met would “get it” without me having to tell them. I wasn’t a very good butch, so it didn’t really work… ha.
He also may just want to feel like he fits in with the gays, which isn’t to say that all gay men act flamboyantly or speak with a lisp but this may be the way he’s perceived them over his lifetime… and thus is putting it on a little.
He’ll probably get over it, so don’t worry.
ABC123: I actually know more “plain old” gay men who insist on being called “she” than transgendered or transsexual men.
I get a drag queen being called “she”, I get transgendered and transsexual, but I personally refuse to call a completely masculine-looking male person with male genitalia “she”, or “girl”, or refer to him as “her”, as in “Look at her muffin-top! Who does that girl think she is trying to squeeze into that spandex?”
Meh, what does it matter? I think people who are bothered by the “flamer” personality are actually uncomfortable with the fact that the person is gay. Honestly, my best friends are two gay men; one is the type who you would fly under any radar, and the other is what you would call flamboyant. I cannot begin to understand how difficult it was to come out to his family, especially considering they came from the middle of buck-futt-nowhere in NB, I can say that it doesn’t matter how he acts. He’s comfortable with who he is.
ever think he was surpressing it for so long and now that he came out he can finally be himself? fuck off
Why do feminine men make people so anxious?
Born Again Christians fall into the same overexuberance. Some get over it, some don’t.
I love the phrase “out of the closet on fire”, OB. I see this all the time, but Cranky’s right, most of the time it’s just a “phase”.
It does appear that the OB is good friends with this person, and hasn’t been exposed to this type of “outing” before. If you read the post in it’s entirety, that is, which most folks around here don’t…