You took my virginity. You were my first for everything. You seemed nice, I trusted you and I wanted to. We talked for a while but only when you wanted to. Sometimes you are so nice to me I forget that you either ignore me or shut me down when I try to contact you, or suggest we see each other. I guess I should know my place. I guess its my fault for expecting anything because it’s just casual right? Well fuck you. I’m tired of guys that either just want sex or just want to be my friend. I’m capable of both. —The sex wasn’t that good
This article appears in Nov 18-24, 2010.
This breaks my heart. I feel really bad for you and I know so many guys out there who do this to girls. A lot of those guys have girlfriends and just want sex from other girls. You just have to realize that if someone doesn’t talk to you unless they’re contacting you first, you’re just a convenience for them. If you’re going to get hurt, don’t have sex with a guy unless your relationship is clearly defined. But, if you can have sex with someone without needing more, than go for it.
Yeah, this sucks op. A lot of guys nowadays are douche bags … But I guess they’d counter that by saying a lot of girls are douchettes … and they’d be right. I think respect has been lost between the sexes. I’m not just a piece of ass … And you’re not just a piece of ass. The fact that this person could do that to you shows much about how they view themselves. The whole casual relationship thing is a bit of a grey area for me … I would rather a one night stand with someone I’d never see again than this sort of I’ll use you for sex arrangements. Somewhere along the line someone feels a not so nice feeling, whatever that may be. Ah, I dunno. Also people need to excercise self control. A little self control goes a LONG way. Don’t give in OP. Self control tempers the soul like nothing else can.
I feel for you OP. Most girls have been in your place at some point in their lives….usually in high school. It sucks but at least you sound like you know that it’s not you…it’s him. There’s lots of jerks out there. But there’s some amazing guys who will treat you like a princess and love you with all they have. Just don’t be one of those silly girls who prefers the jerks and games over the good guys.
The dude took your virginity and you’re complaining the sex wasn’t that good? Who else do you have to compare the dickhead to, OB, pictures of Justin Bieber, Sean Connery, Sidney Crosby or Jacob from Twilight? These types of situations go both ways; both males and females play games and both sexes sometimes just enjoy getting their jollies off.
But what PF said, outline the boundaries of your ‘relationship’ before anything. Don’t be so hot in the muff to dive into bed with any smooth-talking 20 year old with a bad faux-hawk in skater sneakers.
I notice OB did admit it was ‘just casual, right’ so it somewhat indicates to me that she was aware of this before she got down to business and is (later) now wanting more out of it. You could try meeting a guy and dating first and then having sex with them. Try that approach; the one you’re doing now usually results in 4am drunk booty calls only.
Read “Act like a lady think like a man” by Steve Harvey. Half of it is crap…half pretty funny….but you will get a lot out of it.
This may just be a hunch, OP, but are you overweight?
WTF does that have to do with it? Girls of all shapes and sizes get sucked in to stuff like that.
No no, that’s not what I meant, I just know of a guy…
Catfight averted. I’m not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. 😛
Haha, I wouldn’t fight with PF. I only “fight” with the dummies around here like that dick kirbual or whatever the fuck he/she calls herself and that cunt Bon and her little minion what’s her face. And even then it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.
PK I know the guy your’e talking about and no self-respecting woman would give their cherry to that bozo.
Why do some people wait until a relationship is over before they say that the sex wasn’t that good? There are so many things wrong with this I don’t know where to start.
Also, OP, I’d just like to mention that you’re not the only girl who’s ever “lost it” to some douchebag. Many of us haven’t had “ideal” virginity losing situations, and while you always remember your “first” you’ll get over it — usually when you find someone who’s awesome and doesn’t treat you like shit. But, you’re not alone in this.
And despite what NGF says, a virgin can call bad sex. Maybe it’s just your expectations let down, and maybe it’s not that you or him are bad or good or whatever, it’s, and I strongly believe this, all about chemistry between two people that determines “good” and “bad” sex. I have two friends who both dated the same guy (they’re not friends) and one says he was great in bed, the other said he was so-so…so it’s really a subjective thing.
So don’t dispair — you’ll find someone you mesh well with in bed. We’ve all had good and bad experiences (and some of us great experiences).
Haha NGF. I *heart* you.
Cranky: I KNOW. If it’s bad, communicate about it and work together to find a solution. Sometimes a solution can’t be found (all depends on the comfort zone of both partners). It’s amazing how things can go from bad to great by just saying “I don’t like that” or “I’d like if it you…”.
I think people who marry their ‘first’ are unfortunate.
Losing my virginity was the worst experience in my life!
Miss Kitty….I picture you in your green turtle neck and those hideous blue winter boots lined in fur and think you are so sweet…then you use the c word and suddenly you look totally different in my head. You should try using TTFN’s version (insert female between the legs part here).
Roast beef curtains, perhaps? LOL
I hope this bitch wasn’t posted by someone very close to me who recently broke up with her first boyfriend and moped around the house for days.
If so, and if he reads this I just want to tell him “I know what you did, I know where you live, and I’m coming over there to break both your legs ya little twerp”.
~ Commandante “The Hammer” Esposito
You tell ’em, Commandante!
Commandante, your sign-off reminds me of a scene from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog which I shall try to find a youtube clip of when I get home.
The only good thing about virginity, is its easily cured !
Thankfully I have only gone through the experience once, where my partner was a virgin & that taught me …. never fucking again !
Give me a woman who knows what she wants… & we’ll get along fine.
If Bedding a virgin or juggling chainsaws running wide open , was 1 of the only 2 choices I had to make, the chainsaws would be perferable to that ordeal !
Hahaha, PK I love you too but I disagree on a virgin calling bad sex. What – or who – else is there to compare it to? Its like the kids in our old PR program who think certain profs are the greatest people to walk the planet but have nobody else to compare them to. Of course something is either just bad or good (in those extremes) when it’s the only experience you have.
First time I tried beer I thought it sucked because it was warm and from Quebec. Then I tried a local brand that was nicely chilled and boy did I learn my lesson 😀
I dunno. This whole idea of a virgin calling someone bad reminds me of the Eddie Murphy Raw skit where he’s talking about waiting six months to have sex with someone. He compares ‘the best sex you’ve had because you’ve waited six months’ to starving and someone throws you a cracker. Chances are its the best fucking cracker you’ll ever have. But after a while youre going to say, “hey, I just got some regular old crackers…..”
And who knows; maybe this bitch has a box the size of Brooklyn.
Did you EVER learn your lesson on that beer thing.
And bad sex is bad sex. I don’t think you need to have tons and tons of experience in order to make that decision.
I suppose vagina size does determine the level of one’s satisfaction on both ends…small penis, wide set vag = probably not as good as large penis, small vag…. *shrug*
LMAO ….I heard someone refer to bad sex as “fucking a warm bucket of water” once and damn well fell out of my chair. Is that what bad sex’s is all about … size? I think technique and laziness have a little something to do with it. No one likes to have sex with a star fish! (but true…size matters from both parties I guess).
Ladies can have big boxes? Well I guess I never put much thought into the size of the box and just thought of it as an elastic thing, but thinking that different ppl have different resting box sizes is weird! I know they can be longer vaginal canals … Lol I’m thinking of an elestic band that’s been around something for a long time and it just kinda stays like that … Oh my Jesus
OB, he didn’t take your virginity (unless he raped you), you foolishly gave it to him. You are as guilty as he is. Next time your mother and/or father tell you guys are after one thing, maybe you’ll believe them. As for the sex not being good? Maybe it was you and not him.
Well, you’re right too — technique is a big part of it. But, it’s all about comfort level and level of kink too. Like I said: someone could suck in bed to one person and not suck to another person. And one person’s opinion of the sex could be a totally different opinion of the sex the other person experiences. So…lots of factors are at play here.
According to every guy I’ve been with vaginas come in all shapes and, uh, girths and that’s all I’m gonna say about that on the internetz!
And here is the scene that the Commandante made me think of: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_O0jNYOGTQ
I lost my virginity to some guy and the sex was horrible. I know it was horrible because I rarely orgasmed and he had erectile difficulties a lot of the time. So yeah, a virgin can tell when it’s bad sex :)! And I’m not just talking about the very first time because I expected that to suck and it did. *Shudder* I felt broken. Not emotionally, physically, lawl.
The majority of women actually don’t orgasm during intercourse, melectric. and a large portion never orgasm during sexual activity with another either.
And women (unless raped) do not lose their virginity, they give it away.
Some people just want casual sex, if you don’t want that too then don’t have casual sex with people. Date instead.
Ask guys out on dates… and THEN have sex with them.
I guess I’m in that lucky minority that does orgasm during intercourse ;D thanks to the boyfriend :). It really doesn’t take long either…I never liked the hour(s) long sex…I’m pretty much done in 10-20 mins ;D. I’m soooo glad this is anonymous. Although I know my BF reads these sometimes and he definitely knows this is me ’cause of my kitty avatars :). Hello boyfriend, see you soon, it’s been too long <3.
Come on Tim, blaming a virgin for bad sex, is like blaming the cow for a burnt steak.
On the bright side OB, sex is going to get a lot better.
You’ve met the sweet talking bad boy, he got what wanted, and dissappeared. You might want to check out a nice guy next time, they don’t take off, because it’s you that they want.
There’s a reason for that, PK. Apparently there is some confusion about what exactly a female orgasm is and how to get one. There’s tons of things to blame for this like misleading porn videos, the silly idea that the man is completely responsible for the females’ orgasms, a general hostile attitude towards female masturbation, and not using of vibrators during sex with a guy.
So some women end up not orgasming until they are old enough to buy a vibrator themselves, they might not masturbate a lot because they feel ashamed of it, then they just lie there during sex because they don’t know how to get themselves off because of the lack of practice (how is a guy supposed to get you off if you don’t even know how to get yourself off?), they might not want to suggest bringing toys and vibrators into the sex because it might hurt the guys’ feelings (boo hoo), and if they ever start the habit of faking orgasms they can pretty much kiss their chances of having a real orgasm goodbye.
Faking orgasms is the worst. You’re basically pretending to like something that you don’t like. So the poor guy is going to keep doing the same thing because he thinks you like it, and then no orgasms are had 🙁
Bad sex is a myth. It’s just a term people use in weak attempts to discredit others in bed. And virgins – really – cannot say what is good and what is bad. Again – nothing to compare it to. Plus there’s no rating system.
But, you know my stance on it – just socially constructed shit attributed to it by people who think they know it. It’s sex for fuck sakes. It’s not like engineering a bridge or building a rocket ship.
come and tell the suckster all about it, i hear you.
I think anybody is capable of telling whether or not they enjoyed their first experience. Especially lacking The Big O.
OP, you should know that there are many guys of any age who will do anything or tell you anything you want to hear, including ‘I love you’, just to get sex.
It is the age of casual, recreational sex as opposed to keeping that most intimate of acts as a sacred expression of the love between two people in a committed relationship.
There is a lot to be said for keeping it sacred and looking for a like-minded individual. There is a lot more to sex than just the physical, something very important that the casual sex seekers are oblivious to.
Enjoying and not enjoying aren’t the same as something being bad or good either, OC. Some people thought Titanic was the greatest film when it came out. NGF couldn’t make it beyond 5 minutes. Now the movie won a shit load of awards to attest to it’s greatness (I suppose) but that doesn’t stop me from saying it sucked. Same with Ava-fucking-tar.
Then again I find most people who say their partners are bad are the ones who do a very impressive impression of a star fish.
sex is sex, no matter if it is good bad, or somewhere beyond fantastic. you have to have a partner that knows what they are doing. i really feel sorry for some young chicks, just getting banged, and never knowing any enjoyment from it. but with the right oerson, that can be fixed, all you have to do, is find the right guy with a know how. by the way, here i am.form a line plaes, to be pleased.
Bad sex is a myth … no it isn’t. Lol. It can happen. If your partner and you don’t have a rhythm … you’re pretty much up shit creek, unless someone just lays there … which is no fun.
Snoop I was thinking the same thing. Too many ppl put their orgasm in the hands of others. You have hands, you don’t need any fancy toys. Spend some time alone, find out what you like. Take “control” of you own orgasm, Jesus.
My first time was the girl’s first time too, and it was terrible. Not emotionally really, or even physically so much, but apparently, no one had ever taught this girl proper vaginal hygeine. The stench basically hotboxed the hotel room we were at, and despite all the scrubbing and bleaching, my fingers still stank like rotten cod coated in mayo left out in 35 C weather for days.
EEEEEWWWWWWWWWW! (Best Ernest P. Worrell impression).
but q, once you get past the smell, you got it licked, hahaha. ah, but i miss ragtime.
Ew qp…sounds like your first girl had infection down there she didn’t know about.
May I suggest
http://photos.autoexpress.co.uk/images/fro…
OR
http://www.jones-garrard.co.uk/_assets/med…
I was looking for a picture of Monist@t and found a very disturbing picture. A picture of a man with an oral yeast infection.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
this looks useful
http://whipitoutcomedy.com/files/2009/09/m…
Snoop I have to ask if you teach some kind of sexual education course or if you host sexy girl or fantasia parties because I always learn so much from your posts.
Aww thanks REAL CHICK
Unfortunately I don’t host sexy parties 🙁 though I would absolutely love to do that.
I’m just a regular very opinionated girl who likes discussion about interesting things. That’s why I come here, there’s a good number of very intelligent commenters here, and anonymous discussion over the net is a relatively new social phenomenon I find intriguing.
And sex has got to be hands down one of the most interesting things out there. People who are skeezed out of talking about it are missing some truly fascinating stuff.