Well this is a first for me, in the past I’ve bitched about others, but this time I’m super mad at myself, so mad I’m having trouble starting this bitch and putting it into words, not sure exactly what I want to say so here goes..
The worst part is I can’t even really complain to any of my friends about this because I brought this on myself, this time. They warned me about him, and they warned me good. And they were so so right.
Rewind to a few years ago, I had left my fiance after learning he cheated on me with a much younger girl. After taking time alone to mourn the relationship (and this seemed to take a long time for me, it seems to be that “can’t live with him, can’t live without him” type of thing) So yeah, I had moved on, worked up the nerve to get back on the scene, actually went on dates and got back on the dating scene, met three great guys, didn’t really get a chance to take things further than going out for dinner and drinks, because THEN, I didn’t pursue anything with them, just let things die off by not returning calls and emails because I thought I was so Lucky when my ex came back into my life, and now feeling very stuck in this situation and not sure which way to turn.
Things are not working out and are very much history repeating itself. The worst thing is, I now realize I could have a chance at happiness with someone else, someone who values me and I don’t have to censor myself and try to be some other, cooler, more hip, person. I just want to be me, and be accepted for me, and screw him and all his criticism, insulting my family members and his angry behavior.
I think self esteem is a huge problem for me. I feel like if I ever get out of this mess alive I need to think about putting myself first. Blah blah BLAHHH! So yeah that is my super lame bitch, although it does not solve anything for me I will say I feel a bit better just venting. —The trusting moron
This article appears in Nov 4-10, 2010.
You aren’t exactly doing your self-esteem any favors by calling yourself stupid. Most people get into bad relationships and make similar mistakes that you’ve made, it doesn’t mean they’re stupid. You’re not going through anything other people haven’t already gone through and overcome.
So just dump him already. There’s no point in being with someone who makes you unhappy. Get out.
And before you start to date other guys sort through your issues and give yourself time to get over this asshole. Otherwise you’re just going to do the same thing you did last time.
OB: you have to meet our resident gent, Ole Suckers. He won’t BS you and just get straight to the point. 🙂
It doesn’t sound to me like you’re stupid or a moron. I think you have it figured out. I think you know what you need to do. After you take that first step the rest will be much easier than you realize.
the tag line says it all o.p., you just aren’t looking my way.
Not sayin you have to do it or anything OB, give thoses other guys a call, and kiss some ass. You might get anothe chance
HA, ha !
That you took back a cheater speaks volumes. You can’t love anyone until you love yourself, OP. Otherwise, you’re just inflicting your lousy self-esteem on some poor unsuspecting sap who will curse the day he met you.