I understand that you’re insecure about your body from time to time- most people are.
But most people don’t announce it constantly.
This is what I consider fishing for a compliment to shine your ego. From time to time I’ll give you one, but never when you expect it- mine are genuine.
Yes, I understand fat days.
What you DON’T understand is that when (1) your showing me your ‘fat’ pictures, (2) telling me how disgusting and fat you are, (3) making comments about heavier people in public, and (4) convincing yourself no one could ever be attracted to someone a little overweight that your actually chipping away at MY self esteem.
Like I said, I understand.
You are, by making these comments, in turn talking about me. I’m by no means obese, but there is a clear weight difference between the two of us, and in case you’ve failed to notice, your nasty comments hurt.
This isn’t a bitch about fat people; yes, we should do more to help ourselves – I don’t complain because I don’t feel like I’m doing enough. Don’t complain if your not willing to change.
This is a bitch about how much this hurts me every time. I want you to see yourself like I see you; you are beautiful.
But your attitude and self-hatred… you’re (hopefully) complete ignorance of the fact everything you say almost doubly applies to me… not so much.
—Sensitive Size 11
This article appears in Jan 7-13, 2010.
FYI, OP, size 11 is not fat. Except maybe in countries where people are small in stature.
Just sayin’…
Sounds to me like the OP has some confidence issue of his/her own . Who gives a fuck – you are what you are – be proud . If you had no issues with yourself – that shit wouldn’t have bothered you !!!!
A little piece of advice OP: the next time this “friend” starts bitching about her weight and referring to herself as “fat”, don’t placate her and stroke her ego. Agree with her. Call her a disgusting fat pig and tell her there’s no way any guy in his right mind would date a humongous blob like her. Hopefully she’ll get the point that a) she’s not really fat and b) that you’re done stroking her precious little ego.
Never wrong – you forgot this . Also hand her a sling shot and a big mac and say ” I was always interested to see how fatties ate ” . That outta shut her up .
well said.
The best revenge, OP, is changing your life to include an hour of daily brisk walking (include some uphill dynamics to your route) while eliminating sugars, fats and starchy carbs from your diet. The lbs will melt off. Not only will you be healthier but the boost to your self esteem is incredible. Nothing says eff you like becoming a size 8!
There is no excuse for people to be fat. It’s just laziness, plain and simple. Now get away from your PC and go for a walk.
SIZE 11 ! ! ! !
Well if you take 1-1= 0
So your friend & possibly you have just been doing the math wrong ~;)
I don’t know about the rest of the guy’s here but those skinny fashion models, don’t look sexy to me . stretching skin over a boney frame isn’t my idea of a sexy woman…but one who is as tall as they are wide, isn’t either …just sayin
Wow, Oceanlady, way to tell our OP she’s fat (paraphrased) “get some excercise and diet and you’ll be 3 sizes smaller, that’ll show your friend”.
The point I get from the OP is that her friend is smaller than her, and yet complains about being fat. I had friends like that once, I got rid of them – negativity in your personal space (as opposed to bitch boards) is unhealthy. 😉
But seriously, when I pointed out to a friend of mine (who was a size 6 in the days when I was a size 20) that her complaining to me about her wieight was basically telling me I was a whale, she realized what she’d been doing, apologized, and never made mention of her weight around me again.
That’s a moot point now, as I am not that big anymore, and I got rid of anyone else unwilling to shut their mouths while I was struggling with my weight. Good friends support you, and if they find out they’re tearing you down, they stop, or you kick them to the curb…
Now, if I could just do something about these gargantuan boobs so I could buy a button-down blouse…
More: I agree. I’m not a small man myself, 6′ tall, 225lbs, so I don’t dig skinny chicks. I’m worried I’d break one in half! I like real women with real curves. What I really get a kick out of is women who compare themselves to these ridiculous looking models. Hell, I don’t compare myself to guys like Brad Pitt, Sam Worthington or Viggo Mortensen. They don’t really look like that and I know it. Good ol’ Hollywood puts 10lbs of make-up on them to try and hide their imperfections.
NW, totally hit the nail on the head. there is a happy medium…
besides, brad pitt is a stick figure… look at Troy, there’s nothing to the guy.
Now Nathan Jones in that pic… holy crap.
human tank
Haven’t seen how fit Viggo is but I sure wouldn’t want to look like … say… Matt McConaughey either. I find it amazing people consider him attractive… with or without his shirt (usually the latter however). I just don’t see it….
now granted, I’m not asking for a Jay Cutler or Dorian Yates look… I could only wish…
but a nice in-between would certainly spruce up my outlook on myself and life in general.
Um, Gidget: I don’t believe I told the OP she was fat. I believe she said herself that she was feeling fat at size 11 when her friend, obliviously or not, was discussing weight issues. I just offered a constructive option to change the dynamics of the situation. Achieving a healthy weight loss is a good boost to one’s self esteem, which will in effect render the fat talker’s fat chats into a non-issue while at the same time offering healthier lifestyle choices. I didn’t infer anything about the OP’s weight. I merely offered a solution to a problem she feels about her own weight. Sorry you chose to contrue it your way.
I have a friend who sorta does this to me too. I’ve got a good 30lbs on her, and she complains about being fat all the time. Instead of stroking her ego or taking it personally though, we’ve challenged each other to go to the gym, eat healthy and try to give up bad habits. While I’ll never be as small as she wants to be, having someone to go to the gym with and eat healthy lunches with has totally boosted my self esteem, and she complains less about being fat because she’s doing something about it (although I will admit, sometimes she tries to get me involved in crazy diet schemes that are so not going to work, and I politely decline while she tries them for a week without success). So maybe next time she says she’s fat and will never hook a man, say “well hey, why don’t we go for a run, you’ll feel better and you never know when you might run right into a cute, available runner.”
OL: ” Not only will you be healthier but the boost to your self esteem is incredible. Nothing says eff you like becoming a size 8!”
Although your advice is relatively sound for losing weight, OL, you are assuming that size 11 women *need* to lose weight, and the our OP will feel better when she does so. It’s *that* type of thing that pisses me off.
Without knowing the height, weight, BMI, fat percentage, and bone structure of our OP, you can’t justify telling her to lose three dress sizes, period.
Sorry if I dove on you, but this whole “what’s fat” topic grinds my gears.
bmi doesn’t tell you shit…
height, weight, caliper measurement and bone structure are much better.
A guy can’t say “I wear a size 36 waist pants” and then we all say “Holy Shit, you’re a whale”, because he might be 6’8.
So telling someone to lose a bunch of weight without the rest of the info is a douchey thing to do, whether you believe in BMI or other forms of measurement, or not.
You can’t just assume that someone’s clothing size is an indicator of needing to lose weight – there are other factors involved.
I didn’t tell anyone to lose weight. I merely gave healthy choice advice to the OP because she does not appear to be happy to be a size 11. So instead of being unhappy about it she could choose to make changes that will result in being happier be it at size 8 or whatever size is best for her. It is about choices to achieve a positive result, instead of doing nothing which changes nothing.
you’d better not…
I’m mesomorphic and haven’t worn under a 36″ since high school.
you’d have to be 5’1″ to consider 36″ a whale…
which is the point I suppose.
well done.
if this bitch is related to the recent weight bitches a size 11 is not even in the same category as the morbidly obese that i beleive are being refered to!
I’m hefty and gorgeous.
I have a friend who is quite overweight and all the signs are there that her health will soon be affected because of this. She would rather bitch and dog other people all day, waiting for someone to shine her ego instead of doing anything to become healthier and make sure she is around for her young family. This makes me so sad. If you’re happy with how you look being overweight, that’s fantastic, but please know it affects your health and time on this earth in so many ways. We can spend all the time we want accepting or denying how we are perceived by others but all that counts in the end is what we do to make ourselves better people on the inside and out, and doing what is necessary to stay healthy and take care of our responsibilities.
Amen, Diddy. I want to enjoy life without all the health problems obesity brings so exercising and eating healthy are the only choices. With only one shot at the hoop of life I choose to make it the best life possible.
“enjoy life” ? Are you in a fairytale?
How does one go about this ‘enjoyment of life” you speak of?
the high part of my day (pun untended) is the bottle or bowl awaiting me after a lousy fucking day of working a crap job for decent pay.
If you had to list say…5 things that would help us all on the path to enjoy life, I’d be open to try em out…..
Oh Oh I have one zZz!!
Everyone gets to live on a sunny beach somewhere…this beach would have highspeed internet of course.
zZz: I’m pretty sure that it is mostly about one’s perspective. If you think it is going to be a ‘lousy fucking day’ then it likely will. It is all in how you perceive it.
If you are working a crap job then only you have the power to change what you need to in order to go for the job you’d be most happy at. Those the most happy at their jobs are those who love what they do.
There is enjoyment in life in so many ordinary things…the scent of wild roses on a warm maritime breeze, a ferry ride across the harbour (topside), time with loved ones, a good live music show or a good book, being creative, a good meal and most importantly setting and achieving goals for oneself. Realizing that as bad a day as it may seem that it will pass and that as long as one has their health, a roof over their head and a warm meal in their tummy then life really isn’t that bad. So many others are not as lucky.
zzz apparently you like sleeping; sleepings good(and cheap)
interesting outlook…
though there are so many people out there who don’t KNOW what they WANT to do that would actually be a feasible career.
I know my day’s going to be shit because it’s the same idiots with questions and the managers (5 of them, btw) all going, well why did you do this… and why didn’t you do that…?
ug, people are quitting here with no jobs to go to just to get the hell out.
I do love the ferry ride…a good meal… some excellent ideas.
sleeping’s ok, but I don’t ever seem to have enough time in a day as it is.
I think Oceanlady is on to something though.
and Der, working from a wireless beach in australia… I think I’d have a tough time NOT liking that! Not many beach prospects here though… certainly not year round.
Yeah, NS is not really a winter beach kind of place sadly…though summer can be great but the best beaches (good sand with NO crowds) are a fair drive to get to. There are a few decent beaches near Halifax but they end up being loaded with people and cigarette butts.
Maybe not Australia…far too many poisonous things there, it’s easier to list the things that are not poisonous there, that’s not to say I would totally pass up an opportunity to go there!
how about wireless cabin on the maldives then?
that’s one beach I’d like to ravage someone on.
Ahhh the Maldives…even the mere mention of them causes some relaxation.
In defense of Nova Scotia beaches in the wintertime, they are still enjoyable, just differently than on a scorching summer day, which is usually preferable. One bonus to wintertime beach enjoyment is that you sometimes have the whole beach to yourself:)
wreck beach in van there’s bare nekid people with no clothes on:)