To those that do not understand the common curtesy associated with elevators—wait your goddamn turn!! I realize that you may not be aware of this because you are obviously oblivious, but perhaps you are just rude. There may not exist lines where you come from, but they exist here. Basically what you do is try not be a dick and rush towards the elevator when it opens in front of everyone who has been waiting longer than you. And to the not-so-sly asswad that pretends to admire the painting close to the elevator in my building just to suddenly jump on the opportunity to get in as soon as it opens, I will put serious thought into smashing that frame over your head next time so you can permanently enjoy looking at that cheap ass painting no one else gives a fuck about! —You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry
This article appears in Sep 29 – Oct 5, 2011.
Innovative solution: take the damn stairs!
You wouldn’t last a minute in India dude.
I did actually manage to find a pic of the hulk in an elevator…
but it wasn’t easy!
http://a1.l3-images.myspacecdn.com/profile…
as for your bitch…. yes, people are dicks. call ’em out on it and watch them squirm and look all awkward… it’s fun.
Who gives a shit? You’re getting on the elevator regardless and it’s not like you wanna get ahead in line for a good seat.
First on, last off.
Pfft what about those fucks who think the world revolves around them and rush on the elevator as soon as it opens without letting anyone who’s ON the elevator already get off.
Do they think it’s easier to pile off while everyone’s piled on?
Usually when this happens, I make them get off — I’ll yell “EXCUSE ME I’m getting off here!” and they end up getting out and THEN having to go back in. And then I’ll make some passive aggressive remark loud enough for them to hear about how douchy they are.
If they’re just standing there blocking the entrance and aren’t on the elevator, I like to stare them down. I ain’t movin’ and letting them on until THEY move and let me off. Sometimes I’ll even through in an obnoxiously loud “EXCUSE ME.”
LOL, PK, ma semble, ma soeur!
I also hate it when you’re going down 30 flights on a crowed elevator and it stops at the 2nd floor for some numb nuts who sees that it is crowded and squeezes in anyway. The last time this happened to me, I said “Glad you could join us…(long pause) asshole!”
I used to have the same feelin’ on that as you, xeno — until my mom tore her achilles tendon last year. She still has major pain and sometimes at the end of the day she just can’t go down any flight of stairs.
So we trudge through the stink eye stares while getting off the elevator on the bottom floor at the mall from all the stroller mommies who figure “lazy asses!”
But, I’m sure 99% of the time this isn’t the case and the mofos are just lazy.
that’s why I love the maritime centre elevators… most people don’t like being near the glass so I get a prime spot to watch out.
shame it’s so short.
ooo, i like that one too
You’re right, PK–totally different. This was an able bodied tool in his late 30s. There was an escalator there, too…
OP, I’m the guy that broke wind in your elevator yesterday.
Oh I know — most are lazy arses.
I just feel bad for my mama when she gets those stares because she’s anything BUT lazy. 🙁
Xman, if you didn’t get out of the elevator to take the escalator, then you are no better than he was
Not only should you smash that pic over his head but smash him up in the corner as well. maybe even tell him your pretzels are making you thirsty. fuckers need to learn some manners!
Mr. Brown I agree! And making comments to strangers is so fun in the elevators to watch them respond to what you have said. As for taking the stairs, yes no problem with that. But I can’t do 19 stories 5 times a day! Once maybe, and I’m in shape. But with a fucking backpack on by the time I’m at the top I need a new shirt…Moral of the story I will start calling people on their retardedness
OB, is that your biggest complaint? The fucking elevator? Come on. Be more original. How about climbing some stairs and burning off some of that fat. The motors on the elevator can only handle so much weight.
I hate it when I hear this in the elevator:
“So how are you doing?”
“I still hurt like a bugger”
“Is it contagious?”
“Only if I… “
A pimply pox on those 2nd floor fuckers – I want to kick each and every one of them in the box. Yep, they’re mostly women. With rolled-up yoga mats tucked under one arm.