This may sound pathetic but one of my biggest pet peeves is having to hear my husband take a dump. Seriously, I can’t stand the groaning, panting sounds that come out of my bathroom. It’s gross! I’ve put up with it for 4 years now and he seems to poop everyday so I don’t think it’s a constipation issue. Anyway, please be more quiet when you go to the toilet. I don’t need to know what’s going on in there, eww! —Shhhh
This article appears in Jun 23-29, 2011.
it’s not pathetic but it sure is kinda gross. oatmeal/prunes/apricots come to mind
Wow – you can announce your hubby’s colon habits to the world but you can’t tell him????
Sounds like the poor dude needs a double dose of stool softener.
Or a double dose of BETTER WIFE
Turn on the TV or get a bigger place.
I know it must be hard for a perfect being such as yourself (who, from the sounds of things, probably hasn’t taken a shit in a few years) to overhear the sounds of a perfectly natural bodily function. Poor thing.
I call bull-“SHIT” on this post…sounds fake to me.
I think what buddy needs is for wifey to give Jersey Shore a break for 10 minutes and go out and get him SOME GODDAM METAMUCIL!
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc…
Feed him something that will block him up for a few days.
I think we need a visual here:
http://thedanzatap.com/wp-content/uploads/…
And I bet she thinks her shit don’t stink. Fuck off, everyone does it, even the Pope and the Queen. BTW stop standing by the door when he has a dump.
everyone shits, bleeds and dies…hopefully not in that order^^
Actually ask any emergency worker, we would prefer that people have the courtesy to use the bathroom before they die. When a person dies, their bladders and colons let go and evacuate. It is not a pretty sight or smell.
Two words. Human Centipede.
euwwww, i was thinking v-8 juice. i’m drinking one and it says it’s a source of fibre
Why is it wifey’s responsibility to buy metamucil? He’s constipated, not disabled.
lol shoulda been a lesbian
And if he happens to be a construction worker please tell him to stop using those empty cement bags for toilet paper!!
Not her responsibility, OC, but it would be nice of her, she is his wife and she’s effected by it too. Your SO never brought you soup when you were sick? That’s what they’re there for.
sorry if i’m being rude but perhaps hub-unit is not pooping. what with the groaning and the panting^^
You’re right, pg! The guy could be passing a kidney stone!
Maybe he’s got your sisters panties glued to his face and he’s jerkin his gherkin……?
haha, i never thought of that mr. fat. i was thinking of something like that baz but not so graphic^^
Coffee. It keeps the anus lubricated.
Haha, I was kidding, pg. I know what your funtastic mind was thinking 😛
For all we know OP’s hubby could be shitting The Titanic out his ass.
Ask him who #2 is working for.
is that a clue littlest hobo? we call them meat babies fat
Gee. Sorry if your husband’s NATURAL BODILY FUNCTIONS are offending you, Princess. Your life must be OMG SO HARD!
Just because you take a dump at least once a day doesn’t mean you couldn’t have a constipation issue. Maybe he has an undiagnosed digestive tract problem? Sometimes, eating more fibre can actually make constipation issues worse. Especially if IBS or Crohn’s is in the picture.
This bitch is stupid. I’m sure you’re perfect to the point where your excrement smells like sunshine and roses, OP.
You fucking immature kunt.
Ew for real thats nasty !
Why would you anonce that to the world
Yeh this don’t seem like a real bitch at all !
Just don’t listen to him lady !
This product might help poor Hubby’s blowhole:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaUogmewRyc
Here’s a product that should stop all those excruitating noises that offend your delicate eardrums:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yal48bFcdZM…
PG – sorry for being too graphic, but I watched “Little Children” last week and hubby was doing that in the movie.
I think the OP is the type of person who has her shit sent out to be dry cleaned.
Heavens to Betsy, Lawd help us all!
Ah the great late Phil Hartman, definitely taken down before his time.
i like renting his best of snl at vid diff…funny guy
What a prude you are, OP. You’d think that after four years of marriage you wouldn’t be such a child about this.
Also, don’t you communicate with your husband at all? It would probably be a bit more effective 😉