[Image-1]
To the guy with the big earphones who told me to “smile” as I was
walking by you on Barrington Street on Sunday: Fuck you.
The weather was beautiful, and I was enjoying my walk (before your comment of course), and I do not need to smile just for your pleasure. I would have rather you took those big fucking earphones off because they look hideous, but did I say anything? No. You know why? Because I minded my own fucking business, and I don’t try to control other people’s actions.
You think that just because you command it of me, that I should abide? You think that just because you would rather see me smile means that I should? Fuck you, what if I had just found out my dog had died, or I didn’t get the job I was hoping for? Were you fucking smiling? No. I was enjoying myself, and I certainly don’t need to crack a fucking smile just because you request it of me.
Men: Stop with this misogynistic behaviour. It is not cute, flirty, and it won’t crack a smile on my face. It means you’re commanding me to do an act purely for your pleasure, with no thought, consideration, or regard to my own needs.
So if you’ve ever walked by a woman and told her to smile: Fuck you too. —A woman with an opinion and a sense of decency
This article appears in Mar 3-9, 2016.
Maybe, just maybe he wasn’t being misogynistic…
As a man I gotta agree with OP here. Commands are for dogs, not people. You put any look on your face you want OP. This is one man who’ll never command one goddamn thing from you. You be you, and fuck the judgement.
There is a deeper issue which was apparent on your face that fateful Sunday. The guy noticed your face looked like a slapped arse and tried to be pleasant toward you. You are worried about not getting the job you hope for and this is causing you stress. You think the world is conspiring against you but in reality it is just moving on and your path is not yet clear.
I was out for a walk one night recently. As I was passing two young dudes (who looked intoxicated) one of them told me I looked angry and asked me if I wanted to fight him.
I just ignored them and kept walking.
I’m a person who is annoyed by almost all forms of soliciting by strangers. That includes all phone and email soliciting but, especially, in public places. There are a few exceptions (like some of the annual charity fund raising drives) but for the most part I don’t want anyone invading my space to ask me for or offer me anything. You can stand there with a sign all you want and invite people into your space but I have a right to my own personal space and to not be harassed.
As for this Bitch, my guess is that the guy was simply trying to flirt with the OB. Some guys don’t get that they shouldn’t be overly aggressive in their approach and that they really shouldn’t try to flirt with strangers on the street, people while they are working, or anyone trapped in the seat next to you on the bus. It can be perceived to be bit predatory.
I rarely comment but I actually somewhat agree with this rant.
A stranger telling you to smile is inappropriate. It will not make you happy or smile. It makes you feel self-conscious and awkward because you don’t know how to respond. Either you ignore them and feel like a bitch or you feel obligated to explain yourself which is none of their business and you are thereby forced into conversation.
It is really uncomfortable for everyone and does not achieve whatever their desired objective was for having said it. Do everyone a favour and just don’t.
I remember one time I was at this place called VIP. I got dragged there with a couple of girls I knew who were in the radio business. It was not my scene at the time (prob still isn’t)…was trying to have a good time but the music was terrible. A woman walked up to me and said “Don’t smile for god sake”, as if I was personally ruining her life by not belonging there. It pissed me off to the point that I left. I actually still hate that person. Fuck her. I guess I had the same feeling that you had ‘don’t tell me what to do’, ‘who the fuck are you, bitch?’ Maybe this happens to you often, maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know these men that say these things you always hear about on here and I don’t know a lot of women who complain about things likes this happening to them on a regular basis…so I feel somewhat removed. Therefor I have no opinion really just that story to share. The conclusion I guess – people are all douchebags, every single one of them, in one way or another.
Talking to strangers is for hick towns, not big cities like Halifax. Next time mace the fucker and kill it with a rape whistle.
Charlie you gotta be a little more fair to OP. She never said anything about just looking. Also, stop looking children… Creepy.
Maybe, from the guy’s perspective, he saw someone who needed a little good, old fashioned, human interaction. Maybe it was a bad call, but not everyone is right 100% of the time. I highly doubt that he barked it at her like a drill sergeant, and the fact that he didn’t wait around for a reaction kinda leads me to believe that it wasn’t really creepy either. At best, this seems to me to be an unwanted social interaction, whether you believe it to be a misogynistic crime against womankind or not. I don’t understand this compulsion to be offended by the smallest things these days. It baffles me that someone would waste so much time being angry at someone you don’t even know, and chances are, will never see again. This is altogether too much time spent on something so foolish.
Willie, I cannot make sense of your advice… Looking? Who’s looking? What children?
I’m glad I don’t know you.
Preach it girl – now excuse me while I go buy a bra and burn it.
This is awesome. Youre wicked! Thanks for speaking what most girls are thinking. Ignore the sexist comments in this thread- theyre just as shit as the guy who told you to smile.
calm. the fuck. down.
Thank you, OB! It’s infuriating when this happens.
And for the doubters: No woman has ever told me “smile”. But plenty of men have. And it feels invasive every time. Some men just seem to feel like they have the right to demand time/space/interaction from women who they don’t even know.
Obviously, if I felt like smiling, I would be. And if I felt like interacting with you, I’d be in a social situation where interaction with strangers is appropriate, not walking along the sidewalk minding my own business. A strange man telling me to smile is an attempt to force me into an interaction. And I don’t. fucking. want to. I think it’s obvious that this has its roots in misogyny.
It’s a Bitch Poprah, what else is this for? It is called Love the way we Bitch for people who WANT to bitch about something. Maybe you don’t get it? And I agree with the bitcher.
BOOO FUCKING HOOO!!! so someone told you to smile. and thats mysoginistic? Get the fuck over yourself you crybaby. You spent so much wasted time bitching about some idiot on the street telling you to smile. you GAVE them power over you by crybaby whining on a stupid forum as if that was going to get your power back. grow up. fucking dig your head out of your ass and deal with it. if you have to bitch about someone passing you by and saying smile, instead of ignoring it and carrying on with your day…you need help.
“get the fuck over yourself, you crybaby”. “whining”,”grow up”,”deal with it”, “you need help.” Listen, my gentle-sprited ignoramus, your vitriol is vehement and misplaced, a kind of projection of self-doubt and angst which seems uncharitable, and certainly does nothing for the original poster. Perhaps you should reconsider your condescending, insensitive remarks and accommodate yourself to contemporary values.
I used to get this (and my friends) from guys who were trying to engage and I didn’t appreciate it at all. If I found you attractive, I would have been smiling at you! If I’m not smiling at you (for my own personal reasons) you don’t need to say ‘smile’ to me. As to the above commenters, that think it’s a guy ‘just being nice’, would the same men say this to a strange man on a bus? To an elderly woman alone on the street? No…they only ever say this to women they are attracted to and trying to engage. Of course, now I’m older and as I walk through my community to work I smile at those I meet, THAT is polite. To those that don’t smile at me, I would NEVER say to them ‘smile’!