I am at the end of my rope. I have this inner turmoil that tells me I need to make my peace with the person you are because your lifestyle is going to kill you soon. I cant make peace with it, because I know you are better than it. You are a shell of your former self, and I hate that you cant see that. Look at your life and the changes that have happened. You have pushed everyone that really cares about you away. I know that deep down you love me in your twisted way, but its just not enough. My heart hurts thinking about our relationship and what its become. You make no effort to contact me at all. Dont you notice that its always me calling you to check in? You are supposed to be my father. I have made peace with the fact that you are utterly unreliable in every way, but you were such a dick last night. I was genuinely shocked.
You and your alcoholic whore girlfriend are fucked beyond words. Half of my clients are less fucked up than you guys, which is really saying something. You wonder why your kids dont come over, well its because we are functional stable people, and an environment like that is just chaos. We arent into partying ALL THE TIME and its not cool to see you so fucked up. Yes, I know its “just alcohol” as you say, but the continuous abuse has warped your mind. Havent you noticed that your so called “old school” mentality is inaccurate, you think you are healthy!!??? YOU JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK, your leg, knee and arm is broken (from drinking and falling), you have lung problems. Dad you need to stop drinking and smoking like this. You cannot seriously think that this is okay.
I dont know how to proceed. I truly fucking hate HATE the person that you are right now. Its so frustrating, because I love you too and I miss you.
—Needed to bitch
This article appears in Feb 4-10, 2010.
Have you tried Al-Anon for resources? It can be a good place to learn more coping skills for your own preservation and help you deal with the effects of your dad’s alcohol addiction on your life. My heart aches for you. Good luck.
Have a drink, lighten up.
i’ve been there in your father shoes and unfortunately some people have to hit rock bottom before they deal with their problems;sounds like you’re dad is getting close to the muck now
Don’t offer advice. Don’t try to have a “talk” with him. Futile. A person has to really care to change. He doesn’t care. So he won’t change.
Grieving, feeling sad, frustrated, is only human, but realize you can’t control the situation and so you shouldn’t let it eat away at you. Don’t become depressed over it. Don’t let it drag you down. Staying away (in measured doses or altogether) might be the best thing. Sometimes you have to cut your loses. For your own sake. Take care of yourself.
I can think of at least 10 different kids who could have written this bitch. sad times.
Are the kids by 10 different dads?
worse! 9 dads, 11 moms
This is a very angry sounding bitch, without any actual details explaining what would warrant the profanities, the hostile and abusiver name-calling (“alchoholic whore”? charming)…”shell of your former self”? What a wonderful sentiment.
Why is it that I can picture you screaming this to his face at the top of you lungs and stomping out?
I hope you are able to commuicate more reasonably in person with your father, who is obviously going through a rough time, than this abusive rant hints at…He is, according to you, suffering from recent injuries, and must be in terrible pain…
You complain that he “makes no effort” to contact you –
Many men AREN’T able or willing to pick up the phone daily and call their kids, they have a fear or aversion…often if they don’t have good news, they are often afraid to “disappoint” a child…so what? If it’s YOU that calls, you’ve made the decision that you want to “check in”, so why are you throwing it back in the poor ole bastard’s face?
“”You and you whore GF are fucked beyond words”
This very childish language to use about your father and someone who clearly means something to him anyway. It just sounds SO typical of an angry daughter…no, it’s NOT you mom, sweetie, just some “whore”…You say you have ‘clients’ …please tell me you’re not giving advice or counselling people with all this pent-up rage and scorn for the man that gave you life ?
I’d say this daughter needs to cut ties. I’d even use a more insisting sounding word…
like SEVER. amputate the hoser before the infection spreads.
Why let is guy bring you down when he obviously isn’t willing to bring anything to the table?
any idiot can bear a child, it takes a father to nurture.
hey if u need to chat by e-mail we could help each other out. I am in my second moth of self rehab and had to quiet a great job in the city ti do so.No one tells what to do each day as i am doing by myself and for me.Almost any and enery body in the world with drug or alcohol problems in the time in their lives when engaged in what they are using do not do not understand or realize the pain,suffering,dissappiontment and their selfish etc behavouir they are causing the veary dear people in their lives.I is only when they stop using whater it is that they feel and see this.john (j.r.-johhny ramone)