Nice deal. Let’s have a certain franchise stop selling donuts and muffins in their hospital locations. Apparently we are not capable of making our own decisions regarding what we eat. What a fucking pathetic joke! How about putting your time, effort, and money into hiring some cleaning staff for your filthy shitholes. I’d think sanitation would be more conducive to good health than a ban on donuts… Morons!
I should buy a cart and set up on the sidewalk selling french fries and donuts. —Fatbastard

This article appears in May 19-25, 2011.

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60 Comments

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  2. I think it is a great way to promote healthy eating and snacks…and a lot of people actually aren’t capable of making the RIGHT HEALTHY decision. Sometimes they need the donut takin away from them.

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  3. Sure, you can make your own decisions.. But if you choose to have a donut day in and day out, it’ll be the healthcare system paying to keep you healthy. I think it’s a great initiative and people like you won’t affect decisions like these anymore, thank god!

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  4. THis is odd !
    My doctor told me a bran muffin, & more fiber is what I should be eating more often.
    Not too mention I’m suppose to cut down on my coffee intake. So how does eliminating donuts & allowing coffee (a stimulant aka drug) make it any more healthy !?!

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  7. If I can’t have a freaking donut after pushing a baby out of me then really what is the point of life? This is stupid but the little hospital Tims are always out of the good stuff halfway through the day anyway because the DOCTORS and NURSES who know all about healthy eating get them to take outside when they go smoke their CIGARETTES in my face as I’m walking to my prenatal appointments. But yeah ban donuts in hospitals that’s going to make everyone healthier alright…

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  9. Muffins, even bran, are loaded with fat and calories and depending on what oil was used, cholesterol and/or trans fats too.

    I don’t see this as taking people’s choices away, I look at it as the health care system not advocating the consumption of crappy foods.

    However, until they stop serving tasteless crap to patients… I think a donut or two isn’t going to hurt anyone. heh.

    Has anyone had to eat that crap? I had the diabetic meatloaf menu once and holy jesus it was like eating a tasteless brick (well if a brick was cut in 20 pieces). And I sure enjoyed my half a cup of corn flakes, one quarter piece of toast (with no butter) and skim milk the next morning. DEEEELISH! *eyeroll*

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  10. It’s a little contradictory to have a healthcare facility, that is charged with both treating ill/injured citizens and promoting healthy activities/lifestyles as a way to prevent said illnesses and injuries to have a donut shop in it’s main lobby, don’t you think? I personally think it’s a great move. (And I consider myself a fatty). Heart disease and stroke are one of, if not, THE biggest cause of death in this country, (I’m not sure of the exact stats so it may no longer be THE biggest anymore), and two of the biggest contributing factors that lead to heart disease and stroke is smoking and high cholesterol due to poor diet. They banned smoking in and around hospitals because of this fact so it only stands to reason that they would do the same when it comes to the type of concessions they allow to be sold on their premises. You can’t promote a healthy lifestyle and proper dietary requirements to someone and then turn around and sell someone a hunk of deep fried cake! And the provincial healthcare system is well within it’s rights to do so. The amount of money that is spent per year in this province alone, to keep people who smoked and/or had issues related to poor diet alive is fucking staggering. It’s a waste because it’s all preventable. You don’t NEED to smoke and you don’t NEED to eat that donut. The fact remains that people are “choosing” these unhealthy practices but OUR tax dollars are being blown treating them after they get sick because of it. So now, the choice is not yours to make anymore…at least, not on hospital property anyway.

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  11. I don’t so much care about this ban because I never eat donuts and don’t frequent hospitals but I just thought it was stupid. Yes, I think it’s a step in the right direction but it’s like saying McDonald’s can’t sell fries if they’re located in a hospital. Every god damn thing you can get at that coffee place is terrible for you! You can’t have donuts but you can still have cookies? My bro works at one of those coffee places and really, there is nothing there that can be considered good for you. Maybe a tomato or skim milk or something.

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  12. I eat donuts when I’m hypoglycemic. Figure I might as well take advantage of the situation.

    Hay guys, remember when pharmacies and grocery stores with pharmacies in them used to sell cigarettes? No one seemed to care when they were banned from selling smokes, so why give a shit because OMFG YOU CAN”T GET A DONUT AT THE HOSPITAL! OH NOOOESSSSSSSSS.

    Fuck. There are 5 trillion other Timhorribles around HRM. If you want a donut that badly while visiting the hospital get one on the way. For frig sakes.

    And if you’re a patient just eat your jello and stfu already.

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  14. I remember buying the Popeye Candy ciggies (now they call them candy sticks) when I was a kid or the ones that were basically gum wrapped in rolling paper and when you blew on one end of it, a puff of powdered sugar would come out the other end like smoke. lol…ahhh the good ole days.

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  15. it’s a fucking hospital you dolt. they try to get and keep you healthy. i don’t know why they put the timmie’s in there anyway. most of their crap is, well just crap.

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  18. Or does anyone remember that brand of gum called Gold Nuggets. It came in a little draw-string bag and was basically made to look like nuggets of gold. Flavour lasted all of 4 minutes and you had to stog half the bag in your mouth to get a decent chew on.
    http://static.zoovy.com/img/designed2bswee…

    What the hell kinda post-consumer biological waste was that shit anyway?

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  22. I have a pack of Kings that I got from a certain downtown candy store which I frequently use for cosplay accessories. The gum is terrible, though.

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  28. Anybody had the S’mores doughnut yet? It’s retardedly awesome. I felt bad about eating it while I was eating it and I (otherwise) eat well, cycle 20km round trip every day to and from work, and don’t smoke :s

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  30. “It’s a little contradictory to have a healthcare facility, that is charged with both treating ill/injured citizens and promoting healthy activities/lifestyles as a way to prevent said illnesses and injuries to have a donut shop in it’s main lobby, don’t you think?”

    Pfft, no.

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  36. You could buy Timbits and throw them from the upper floors at the fat people below and watch them scurry to grab and eat them.

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  38. remember chocolate cigarettes , that you had to peel the paper off to eat, they came in packs like the American cigarettes. & licorice pipes, with the little red sugar at the ‘bowl’ end of the pipe.
    My favorite gum was black cat, you could chew it a while, & then use it to black out a tooth or 2 like they were missing….I have no idea why we all did that ~:)

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  40. So which arm band should I get ready, the swastika or the star with hammer & sickle? Either tell Timmys to get out or STFU.

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  42. I had to laugh at how you compared something as nefarious as Nazi-ism and Red Soviet Communism to not being able to buy your boston cream donut at the local hospital…Yeah, THAT’s the same thing..pfft! Seriously? No one is stopping you from getting your donut. As was mentioned earlier, there are literally dozens of full service Tims and other coffee shops on every block of this city. You want your donut? Walk the 100 metres to the nearest one, Brother Comrade. And I mean, honestly, unless you were spending any amount of time in the hospital, how often have you “popped ’round” to the nearest healthcare centre to get your morning coffee and pastry?

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  43. Hyperbole to make a point is a time honored tradition in this playground. Blame the subliminal influence of all those ,oh, so hilarious Harper/Hitler cartoons that accompany Bruce Wank’s monthly effusions. Still, I believe it was George Carlin who said “When fascism comes it won’t be wearing brown or black; it’ll be wearing Nikes and smiley face t-shirts.”
    Fortunately the Resistance has found a leader with the courage and vision to fight back…
    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_OhYwutY2my0/S3UA…

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  45. LOLz. I’d love to see some civil disobedience to protest this. Flashmobs showing up at the hospitals with boxes of honey crullers. “Freedom Gorgers” linking arms and singing “Give grease a chance”. Sheriff Bull Connor turning firehoses full of V-8 on us. State Troopers clubbing us with broccoli. The mind boggles.
    I’d help organize something like this, but us fat boys are pretty damned lazy when you get right down to it^^^

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  46. I’m at the hospital now and just past a tims with some chocolate dips in the case. UUUMMMMm chocolate dip. I think this hospital isn’t pulling them because there’s lots of kids around. And fat women 🙂

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  47. I think this is stupid because they’re only going half way, banning donuts and muffins while ignoring everything else on the menu that’s really bad for you (Coffee, anyone?). God forbid the doctors and nurses would have to go off site or brew their own in a staff room to get their daily fix…like every other working professional has to do.

    If the hospital really wants to promote healthy eating they’ll kick Tims out and put a healthy salad/sandwich bar in it’s place, it doesn’t necessarily have to be corporately owned either.

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  48. To hell with the doctors an nurses brewing their own coffee….they have full access to something 10 times better…the DISPENSARY! Hell yeah!

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  51. avast0 said: “…unless you were spending any amount of time in the hospital, how often have you “popped ’round” to the nearest healthcare centre to get your morning coffee and pastry?”

    The last time I visited a friend who was in the hospital. He was sick, I was not. So what’s wrong with ME getting a coffee and cruller when I go to visit? Are “second hand trans-fats” going to be the new cause celebre?

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  52. Not a thing wrong with you getting a coffee and a cruller, Narce. My point was that I don’t think the Timmies at the hospital is usually people’s first choice of locations to get their daily donut/coffee fix, (I know it’s not mine)…unless they are spending anytime at the hospital..(i.e. a patient or visiting) that’s all. Regardless, it’s all a moot point now. If anyone wants a coffee and cruller while visiting, they are going to have to either go before or after.
    BTW, I hope your friend is ok.

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  53. Tim Hortons is not exactly a bastion of healthy eating. Very little there has less than 500 calories. So if donuts are banned, you might as well ban the whole restaurant. The reason Timmies (and all the unhealthy choices) is there to begin with is because hospitals are a high traffic area. Patients and those seeking medical consultation are just portion of the population at any given time. Employees and visitors make up the bulk of the population.
    The visitors are passing through and grabbing something on the go and the employess are there for 8 hour shifts and grab a coffee and snack at break.
    Timmies is immensely popular, that’s why it’s everywhere.
    Eliminating a small portion of the menu is futile, people will get muffins or bagels (just as fattening) instead. My guess is that donuts will quietly return to the menu in about a year’s time as long as Timmies is there.

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  54. The nanny state marches on. Perhaps this is all part of the NDP’s new job creation strategy – they can hire hundreds of people to spy on patients (at first, then the population at large) monitoring their habits and making sure they are eating appropriately

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  55. dartmouthy — if they were doing THAT they wouldn’t serve the shit they serve now to the patients. I’m begining to wonder if it’s their plan to starve the patients to death in order to open up more beds. Because I know if I had to eat what I ate in the hospital for more than a day I’d probably starve myself too (though the portions were starve-worthy in themselves).

    I don’t really think banning tim horrible’s baked goods is a bad thing. It’s all about image and example. The hospital is showing it doesn’t advocate unhealthy eating. They did the same thing when the banned cigarettes from being sold in pharmacies or stores with pharmacies in them. No one whined then.

    Like I mentioned — there are 5 trillion other locations around HRM. If you’re visiting, pick up a donut on your way. If you’re a patient — you probably should be sticking to your jello, yo’.

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  56. When poor SOBova delivered Ivan Jr., her bouncing baby gall-bladder, she learned to appreciate Jello, clear broth and apple juice. They became the high point of her day. Of course her prickbastard husband insisted on getting himself KFC and eating it in front of her the day she came home. MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA.
    And Ivan Jr., he just got elected in the rural Quebec riding of Ste. Pede-LaTrine.

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  57. IVAN! You bastard!

    That’s funny how she had so many food restrictions after she had Ivan Jr. out. Maybe it’s the IBSc/Crohn’s, but besides being able to digest milk, my diet pretty much stayed the same, as in I have no issue with fats and still can’t eat high fibre.

    But my mom can’t eat certain fats or she does NOT feel so hot and she’s had her gall bladder out too. I’m the 7th one in my family to have theirs out! w00t!

    Apparently when mine came out it was a fucking soulless ginger — all red and shit and had no soul (cause it didn’t care that it made me barf bile on a daily basis. barfing bile is no fun, guys!).

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  58. troodon before spouting off, try looking at facts. “Very little there has less than 500 calories.” Highest calorie donut – Walnut Crunch, 360, cookie – Peanut Butter, 280, sandwich – BLT, 420, Breakfast – Sausage, egg, cheese, E Muffin – 530 (the rest 460 or lower), soup/chili – Chili, 300, Beverage – Cappacino (10oz), 250. So of all the things Timmies sells only one item is above 500 calories. Sooo STFU.

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  59. Okay, Bro Tim, so I exaggerated for effect. My point is that, top to bottom, the Tim’s menu is generally high calorie-wise and just taking donuts off the menu seems to me pointless.

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  60. What do you call high calorie, the majority of their products under 400 cal with many under 300.

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