Don’t Steal Bike Parts

Hey, so this bitch isn’t going to even touch the topic of cycling, that’s a whole other can of worms to which I could dedicate a whole Coast’s worth of bitches. It’s about the bikes themselves. Whoever you are out there that takes great pleasure in stealing lights, seats, bags, whatever you can put your dirty fingers on and lift from parked bikes, what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you do that? Especially bike lights, if I forget to take them off, I find they’ll disappear within 10 minutes of parking my bike anywhere in the city. So I try not to forget. But I mean, they aren’t there for fashion or for fun, they are there to save your ass from getting hit by cars. If you see a pair casually hangin’ out clipped to a bike, don’t take them. The cheapest ones are a few bucks, but that’s nothing compared to the cost of someone’s life. If I catch you doing it, I’m gonna shine them right into your corneas on their highest setting, but more than that, I just wanna go for nice summer night rides. Just stop stealing, please. -Semi-Safe Cyclist

This article appears in Jun 19-25, 2014.