Honey, I love you with all my heart. But you need to grow the fuck up. You leave me home alone every day with kids. You take off after work and do fuck knows what. Then you take off during the weekends to the bars with your friends and are do fuck knows what…or who. You tell me that you’ll try. You’ll tell me that you’ll change. yea fucking right.
All I’ve ever asked for was an effort. An effort to make this work, and have equality in our partnership.
All I want is a break. A break from the kids. I’m ripping my hair out, sitting on the stairs crying every day for 45 minutes at the least, begging what ever hears our prayers to just let me die or have a break from everything (which ever comes first) and then you stroll in the door.
Just grow the fuck up and stop playing these fucking mind games. I’m done. I don’t know how much more I can take.
This article appears in Apr 3-9, 2008.
How long were you with this person before having kids and getting married? I doubt he was much different then. Never get into a relationship expecting the other person to change and become the one for you, it won’t happen.
That said though….Seems like you have talked to your husband about this in the past and his ignoring you and his family probably means he is completly self-absorbed or has problems with you/them that he is trying to avoid. If you want things to work try talking more or try counseling. Ultimately though, if he’s not going to change you need to figure out if you want to stay or not. Make the Kids your life, or make time to go out and do things for yourself or make time to spend with friends (hire a sitter if your man won’t help you with that). If not, you will explode. best of luck with a shitty situation.
Finito, i feel for you. You really need to start thinking about yourself. Is this marriage worth your shattered self esteem? Every relationship should be 50/50. A caring partner should understand that you need a life of your own too, and he shouldn’t have to be told. He should just know, because he should love you enough to know you. It’s not only each other you have to consider..you’ve created a life and children together, and judging from your post, this guy is too selfshish to deserve a family. Please think about what YOU want out of life, because noone is going to look out for you but yourself.
Let’s see what his freewheeling lifestyle would be like when he has to pay alimony and have the kids on the weekend. There is a way out if you decide not to waste your life on that self-indulgent loser.
Two Words…Divorce Papers.
sounds like the OP is in a pretty desperate situation but I have seen similar scenarios turn around without going splitsville. The guy may just need a wake-up call or may be an OK guy who just can’t deal with whatever problem he is avoiding at home. In those cases, the situation is workable. If he is the self-absorbed jerk we all seem to think he is, leaving is probably the only real option. I just think it is important for the OP to figure out what’s really going on before bailing. She says she loves the guy and is fed up. She definately needs to look after herself, but she is in a marriage with kids….leaving is a decision not to be taken too lightly.
Leave. Now. If he’s going to change, the only thing that will change him is losing you. If he’s not, you’re better off. It sounds simplistic, but he needs a huge wake-up call. Threats won’t cut it. Make a plan, and follow through.