Do not talk to me when i am in the middle of a phone conversation. I don’t give a fuck about whatever it is you’re yapping about. I know that you’re impolite, and just can’t keep your effing trap shut, but I’m not listening. So don’t even bother.
-Please stop plodding the fuck around here in your bad moods, trying to intimidate everyone in your path, because you feel an overwhelming sense of self entitlement. You’re obviously a giant fucking baby, with a little man’s complex. You’re so goddamn pathetic, and you couldn’t make it more obvious to the rest of us if you tried.
-For the love mercy, would you mind NOT butting into my conversations with other employees? Yes, you know the answer to the question i was just asked, but you’re not a part of this fucking conversation, and noone gives a fuck about your imput, as you weren’t bloody well asked for it. stay the fuck out unless you’re asked to join in, mkay?
-Last but not least, i’d really appreciate it if you could stop hoovering around and leaning over me while i’m at my desk. Despite what you may think, it’s not funny or cute. To be quite honest, you fucking repulse me. If you have something work related to discuss, fine. If not, take your cheese-breath and move it along, OK asshole?
You’re not the boss here. You’ll never be in charge of this place. Accept that as fact, and we’ll all be a little better off.
This article appears in Oct 30 – Nov 5, 2008.
Don’t be so hard on poor Rodney MacDonald……..
Sounds like the woman in the HAL commercials to me.
we all have some of them!its also shitty when they read over your shoulders
we all have some of them!its also shitty when they read over your shoulders
I’ve worked in offices for over 35 years and have handled each of these situations. Problem: Talks when you are are the phone.Solution: Put the caller on hold and issue a loud Shhhhhhhh! with hand gestures for emphasis. If that doesn’t work, simply announce: I NEED YOU TO BE QUIET!Problem: Bad MoodsSolution: Utter the words: ‘Maybe you should get professional help.’ usually shuts them the fuck up.Problem: Interrupts your conversation with a co-worker.Solution: Talk to your co-worker in another part of the office. If Q-Bert does catch you, drop the conversation and pick it up later.Problem: Doesn’t respect personal space.Solution: Tell this idiot that he is invading your personal space and it makes you uncomfortable. If he has half a brain, he’ll back off.These may or may not work for you – you need to be direct and to the point – keep it simple. If you’re one of those people who would rather bitch behind the guy’s back and never enlighten him, then you’re going to have to wait until he quits.
“I NEED YOU TO BE QUIET!”It is so delightfully condescending.
TTFN, you should have your own column here. Like a DearAbby type of column.OP, hovering around and leaning over your desk: Hmmm, if you told them to stop, and they still continued to do so,I think I smell alleged harassment. I wouldn’t rat him out,but I would escort him to the boss, and explain the problem.If he’s bothering others, they should do the same, and theguy will be disciplined.
Hey, Scott, worked for me. Sometimes you just have to be a shit.
Hey, ij, I don’t know about an advice column – shit, I’m just speaking from 54 years of wandering around on this rock called Earth. I’ve seen too many people get steamed and stressed by not speaking up in office situations – it feels so much better when you get those repressed feelings out of your system in a reasonable manner. I only learned what to do by making plenty of mistakes when I was young.