I let you stay at my house for two weeks while I was away. You needed a place to stay and I needed someone to look over the house while i was gone. Seems like a fairly mutually beneficial arrangement, yes?
I get back after two weeks and find the following little gems in my house.
1. The house was filthy and caked in a layer of grease and grime. Dishes weren’t washed, kitchen was dripping with spilled food and candy wrappers that you inexplicably dropped and just left there. Juice spilled on the floor was just sort of left there and tracked through because, whatever, fuck it.
2. Marshmallow was caked on my grandmother’s antique table such that i had to destroy the surface to clean it off.
3. The little green compost bucket was filled without a liner, then left in the back yard, full, hidden behind a fucking rock.
4. The large compost bin in the front yard was filled with garbage, some in bags, some loose. (And may i just add at this point here that you never offered to fix this even though I have a rotator cuff injury and am now doing it myself. Anyone who has injured their rotator cuff can vouch for just how disabling it is.)
5. The cat litter hadn’t been scooped ONCE IN TWO WEEKS. Just covered in newspaper and left to fester.
6. My cats’ water was filthy. Can you not even bend your ass over and change a bowl of water?
And.. this is my favourite one.
7. THE STINK. I don’t know if you just don’t shower or what but the unholy, rotten stench of body odor left on all my furniture and permeating through the house was absolutely furious. I don’t know if I’m ever going to get the furniture clean so now I have to live in stench because you can’t keep yourself, or your surroundings clean. I don’t know if it’s health or hygiene and frankly I don’t give a fuck. You reek and now my house reeks.
I guess I should have known the day before i got home when you were all like “Fuck man.. I have to clean…….” – i should have known that it would be bad. You don’t “clean” the DAY someone arrives back at a home that you promised to take care of. And I guess I should have known what to expect when, instead of cleaning up and just getting it done, you sat on facebook all day complaining about how you were having trouble “cleaning” because of a “headache”.
Then! Ok? THEN, i get home and start cleaning up my scuzz-encrusted house and you SIT THERE AND WATCH ME. You sit on your ass and watch me clean up YOUR MESS. No offer to help, didn’t even OCCUR to you.
Listen. You are an absolute pig. You are unable to maintain even a basic level of housework or hygiene. You don’t have a job and yet you’re too “tired” to take care of yourself. You have all fucking day to get off your lazy ass and get shit done. No more excuses. All you ever do is just shove excuses at people.
You didn’t even have a toothbrush here man.. In two weeks you didn’t have a toothbrush here. Come the fuck ON…
Never again will i come home to the unholy, christing stench-filled filth pit I came home to this time. You didn’t even realize it was all that messy. I can’t even begin to imagine how you were raised but in the real world, you do NOT freeload at someone’s house for two weeks, leave it a filth pit and then watch them with glee as they clean it up.
Never again. When you come here in the future, you will be supervised or not at all—Your fucking slave, apparently
This article appears in Pop Explosion.
‘…Then! Ok? THEN, i get home and start cleaning up my scuzz-encrusted house and you SIT THERE AND WATCH ME. You sit on your ass and watch me clean up YOUR MESS. No offer to help, didn’t even OCCUR to you….’
At this point, I would have turned verbally postal on said arsewipe and shoved a broom in his/her hand.
And just what did you do? YOU SUCKED UP YOUR RAGE LIKE A HOOVER AND WROTE A BITCH INSTEAD!!!
Then, this gem: ‘…Never again. When you come here in the future, you will be supervised or not at all…’ – YOU’D ACTUALLY HAVE THIS PERSON IN YOUR HOUSE AGAIN? DO YOU HAVE ‘WELCOME’ IMPRINTED ON YOUR BACK?
What a fucking coward you are, OP, a snivelling little whiner.
Did buddy’s personal hygiene, or lack thereof, only start the day before they moved in, surely, you must’ve noticed he smelled worse that Trevor Zincks credit report earlier than that?
OP, all your diatribe is not going to excuse your own error in letting this person stay in your home. you would not have let a total stranger stay in your home, so this person was known to you. surely you would have smelled them before this. if someone is so unclean that their stench rubs off on furniture, you can bet your booties their home matches their body.
why on earth would you think they would magically turn into Martha just because they were staying in your place?
and if you let a total stranger stay in your house I won’t even comment.
Ditto to what they said op.
All this in 2 week span…seems more like a 2 month hiatus instead.
The only item where I might have a smidgen of sympathy, is the poor cat not getting the litter box properly looked after. SHAME
In future you’ll know enough to not allow anti-fracking protestors on your property. Just be glad they left when you told them and didn’t try to invoke treaty rights or freemen-on-the-land status.
You said, when they come back in the future….. have you learned nothing?
And how could you let em watch you clean?!
I would have given them the old – get the fuck out! line followed by a stream of projectiles in the form of all the garbage they left lying at hand.
It’s possible that this person had an enabler (probably his Mom) that kept him smelling somewhat decent prior to OP’s letting him stay there.
If I were OP, I wouldn’t have necessarily gone postal but certainly I would asked what the problem was and insisted on his help cleaning the place up.
INCONSIDERATE BEHAVIOUR
I must say that I found his behaviour quite inconsiderate.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
hahahahahahha! No way! I know the op AND the perp. This is verbatim the story I’m aware of. And while I can’t figure out why op would let this person stay there (All i can say is that the op is SUPER-nice and very opportunistic and tried to kill two birds with one stone i guess), trust me, a copy of this letter WAS sent to the houseguest.
haha i can’t believe the letter is a bitch here. That’s hilarious.
Reg actually that’s pretty close to the truth. I don’t know the houseguest very well but i DO know that this person is a spoiled brat who can’t take care of things on their own. It’s someone the op can trust and that’s how this whole thing happened. The op had to travel for medical care (OP… do you mind if i say this??) and it was sort of a last minute situation that came up… and… well here we are.
I helped clean the house. It was actually a LOT worse than op is letting on here (Sanitary napkins left on the kitchen floor bad.) I wouldn’t say it was necessarily HAZMAT level bad. I’m just saying I would have felt safer in a suit.
And the op is anal.
Bad mix.
The house is back to normal now and the kitty is just fine 🙂
hee … (fart) … hee!
OB yer obviously an idiot. You let a complete stranger into your home to do with it as they wished.
I say this because no one who has a friend would not know the ‘friend’ was a pig & a stinky pig according to your account. Because you’d have seen their home spent time around them etc.
Not that you deserved to have such liberties inflicted upon you & your possessions , but I find it difficult to not see you as the author of your own misfortune.
I hope the rest of your conveleasence goes better than the 2 week period you just mentioned. Perhaps you could spend a little time reading, perhaps research what a ‘friend’ is …. & you can trust me when I tell you it’s not someone you click on in an internet site !
Wow.. the only thing I have to comment on is the last part “When you come here in the future, you will be supervised or not at all”.. lets just say not at all.. This is NOT a friend… why bother with them?