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Religion is like a penis. It’s great to have one. It’s fine for you to love it. It’s even ok for you to think yours is better than anyone else’s. Just stop knocking on my door with it hanging out and trying to show it to me. Thanks. —Already Got One
This article appears in Jan 20-26, 2011.
26 Comments
Is it true if you play with religion too much, you’ll go blind?
It is annoying when people knock on my door just to show me their penises.
arrows….. do these people attempt to talk all about their penises and the good news contained therein…. then try to give you one of your own?
I don’t mind taking a quick peek at their penises, I just don’t want to attend their circle jerk.
This is the. funniest. post. ever. (well, in quite a while).
Thanks OP.
I like penises, but not strange ones hanging out at the door. It’s just a little overwhelming. How do you decide between all the options? Which one is best? So, it’s best to just cut off all the penis stuff nice and quick. Or even slam the door on the penis. That’ll fix ’em.
Religion is not like a penis. A penis is useful.
Heeheehee… kind of reminds me of this in a way….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg
oh jonno… I thought you were going to go with this one….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx4uMqwmPPA
go suck a bag of religion….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNnXsnQVt88…
Ooops…I forgot to put a volume warning on that last one for all you people goofing off at work = )
Laughing my ass off. But I can’t turn the volume on any of your videos or I’ll get caught.
Hope you don’t have any co-workers who are practical jokers (or out for your job)…you go lunch, they crank the volume and suddenly ‘Isn’t It Awfully Nice to Have a Penis’ is being blasted from your cubicle. Of course, if your boss sings along, it’s all good = )
This might help explain the “Second Coming” but I’m still working out the theological details.
Ditto on “Pounding the Pope”.
Apparently, religion is “drenched” in sexual innuendo.
LOL…..penis and religion. Reminds me of the case currently in the Courts regarding a former Nova Scotian religious leader (who now hides in Ontario).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcP8sVjZ5qg
Ha Ha Ha:
Thy rod and thy staff comfort me.
i have a monty python/frank zappa playlist…”jesus thinks you’re a jerk” is funny
I just tell them I kill commies for Christ. They can’t leave fast enough.
I find that line also works well at election time when party canvassers come around, Tim.
Doing a Cheech accent and offering to sell them some primo Columbian, mountain grown Folgers will keep the latter-days away.
I made the Jehovah witness’ run when they were at my door. At first they saw my dear sweet innocent hubby then they saw me who was taking psych at university. I grilled them about their religion until the they said uh we have to go now, our friend is in the car. Unfortunately they never came back I wanted to serve tea.
Supposedly, if you refer to them as “Russellites” they will never darken your door again.
gotta love this post o.p. we should have it tagged and rampant relegion. we all know who the worst ones are, i just tell them that i am a practicing satanist, and they kind of leave in a hurry.
In the words of the imor(t)al Dave Broadfoot.
Sure, come on in, we’re all perverts here and horney as hell :-0
Guess what the haol is used for ;P
lovely avatar hugo, it adds a little something *chortle*
Already Got One,
Funny post – I feel your pain. Seems like you have a lot to say on the topic. Do you have more of a rant on religious canvassers? I want to hear it.