Do you really believe that it is appropriate to stare at my boyfriend and I while we are holding hands? Yes, we are both male, this shouldn’t be anything new, it IS the 21st century after all. Whatever happened to the idea that love has no boundaries? You should be staring at us because it’s plainly obvious how in love we are, not because we have the same sexual organs. No one would stare at a minority race because they are just that, why stare at us because we’re gay? Please have some respect, it ruins my day when I have to deal with hate mongrels on a regular basis. Oh, and, yes, we are fags, you don’t have to scream it from your car, we’re not only well aware of it but damn proud of it too. Who wouldn’t be proud of being in love?
—Fed up with Halifax’s lack of respect and consideration
This article appears in Jun 4-10, 2009.
If you’re going to hold hands with your boy in public, fully expect that people are going to make fun of you. Do you really think that the world is suddenly going to be 100% tolerant just because its a new century? Gimme a break.
It’s still rude. Period. If you want to stare, go to the zoo.
Sounds to me like the OP has a serious problem and it has nothing to do with people staring. While I agree that staring in general is rude, assuming that all people are staring at you out of hatred is pretty hateful in and of itself. I know I’ve stared at several gay/lesbian couples in the past, mostly because I’m thinking to myself “wow. you don’t see that very often. not many homosexual couples have the courage to hold hands in public like that”. However, I am totally disgusted whenever I hear someone yell anything out of a car window. Be it “FAG!”, “nice ass!”, “loser!” or anything else. It’s crass and pathetic. But seriously, if you’re in public, people have the right to stare. Period. It’s only when you’re in private that you have the right to privacy. Hence the term. You’re just going to have to deal with the fact that you stand out in public. It’s like dressing a dwarf (midget, little person, whichever term you prefer) in an Oompaloompa outfit, having him run down Spring Garden singing show tunes and expect people not to stare. It’s not gonna happen.
That’s not Halifax, that’s just homophobic assholes, which are everywhere. Think about the Pride parade getting a 25k grant instead, it’s a happier thought.
Are you serious Dino?? It might happen sometimes- but only when said couple are walking past a couple of narrow-minded morrons, and that doesn’t mean they should ‘expect it’!! Who ‘expects’ to be made fun of??! The more gay couples who walk down the street holding hands, the more regular it becomes, the less taboo it becomes, and the less these couples will be made fun of. My sister is with an asian guy and when they lived in Halifax there were two occassions where people on the street commented ‘Look at the white girl and her ‘chink’ boyfriend!’ Sure, in little ol’ Halifax they were viewed as an unsusual couple…but does that mean they should have ‘expected’ to be made fun of????
Calm down SD, from my perspective Never Wrong pretty much validated my point, and you’re not attacking him. Whether you agree or not, not 100% of people are tolerant, so what I’m saying is that you have to expect that *some* people will choose to make derogatory gestures/comments. People like the OP shouldn’t be surprised when these kinds of things happen; because that’s just delusional – thinking that everyone is suddenly tolerant because its a new century. In my opinion, there will always be intolerance/racism/sexism in this world, there is no getting rid of it.
Sorry Dino, I misunderstood you
No worries.
yeah, Dino i have to agree with Scooby about misunderstanding you . I agree with about 95% of the stuff you say. but at first it sounded like you were advocating the homophobic and rude behaviour rather than just pointing out that its a fact of like. Thanks for clearing that up, nice recovery.
we cool again 😉
back to the OP – Halifax can be a Gawky City. There are a few slack jawed locals who like to point and stare at the “shiny things and big noises”. Even a few more who like to yell inaudible things from moving cars to show how brave and cool they are. Fuck those guys! Just don’t paint us all with the brush. There are lots of tolerant people, even some older people who are typically more “traditional” ( read: closed minded bigots from the good old days ) seem to be getting with the program. Its not just the young crowd who are opened minded.
First of all I commend the OP and encourage him to keep on doing what he is doing. But tolerance unfortunately takes time. You need to focus on how far the gay society has come and not how far it has to go. Really, it is not so much different than meeting someone on the street with purple hair and several piercings. People stare because it is different than the norm. Not saying it is right, it is just human nature.
Old stereotypes last a long time. Just because it is 2009 doesn’t mean you won’t receive stares. The world has made giant strides, atleast in my 20 years, but it’s short-sighted of you to expect years of “taboo” to simply vanish.
I sympathize for you OP, but you might to drink a nice tall glass of common sense.
Is it possible your boyfriend was getting stared at because he’s a gorgeous babe? Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean women won’t evaluate your lover on a man-scale.
While I agree with a lot of the things that you guys are saying about how far people have come acceptance wise, and how it’s natural for people to stare at things they find different…
I totally understand where the OP is coming from. It’s really hard to hold the hand of your same-sex partner and think “Okay… This is alright. At least we’ve come this far… We can deal with the stares, dirty looks and the offensive comments yelled from cars because atleast we can walk down the street without any physical harm! Just think, hopefully in 10 or 15 years, we’ll be totally accepted and not discriminated against!”
It’s really hard to think logically and not get your feelings hurt when this crap is happening to you constantly.
Hey Walter, go fuck yourself. 1% of the population? Try at ten times that, at least. Why don’t you crawl back under whatever rock you just crawled out from, hmm?
OP, you have my sympathy. As many have said here, there’s unfortunately still a contingent of small minded people out there, as evidenced by fucktards like Walter. We’ve come a long way baby, but we’ve still got a ways to go. Just try to be strong and know that it’s the bigots that are on their way into the closet these days.
hah, OK. it IS closer to 2%…anyhow it is a small minority, of which the OP chooses to be visable.
I am not hating on anyone, or their lifestyles. I am totally of the be proud segement of society.
I was attempting to state that the OP (or anyone differing from the norm) should be prepared to get looked at. Differences stand out, they intrigue and startle the stupid masses, and sometimes they recieve double-takes. All I am saying is get used to it, and get over it. Balling like a queen only gets you more of the attention the OP says he doesnt want.
To the OP; act like you belong, because you do, dont act like you THINK you should belong.
As for meow, get off your pony. I am just calling it as I see it. A drama queen is a drama queen, and if you think I am a bigot (which I dispute) you are in for a rude awakening when you finally meet one.
Pride Weeks a commin’…..look for increased gawking and finger pointing and Caost Bitches….’tis the season to increase the public’s awareness of what “hicks and rednecks” we Nova Scotian’s are…..
I think me0w was referring to the fact that it’s more like 10% of the population.
I do agree that you are often stared at when you are different – however, there is a difference in staring due to curiousity and staring with a malicious intent. I believe the OP is talking about people staring with malicious intent. It’s good for the curious to stare – those are the people that are tolerant, but unexposed. The more they stare, the more the exposure, the less curious, the less they stare. Those guys that are malicious? they suck, but they’re never going to change their intolerant attitudes – I say fuck’em, OP – you’ve got a ton of people on your side, don’t give up!
ps: lol@kay – good one!
Walter, I agree with some of what you’re saying. I just want to clarify some things in your post.
1) 1 in 10 people is LGBT. My math skills are not the best, but that’s definitely not 2% of society.
2) Being gay is not a lifestyle. As a lesbian, I lead a very similar life as a straight woman. I get up in the morning and go to work. On certain days I volunteer, go to meetings or work at my part time job. I visit with my family, hang out with friends, and grocery shop. The only thing that sets me apart from a straight woman is the fact that I date other women.
Sexual orientation does not define how you live your life. Sure, I might hang out at Reflections once in a while, or I might walk through the streets of downtown Halifax waving a pride flag one day a year. But that does not make my “lifestyle” any different than a straight woman.
Walter, again, go fuck yourself. In two short posts, you refer to the OP as ‘fag’, ‘princess’ and ‘queen’, claim a lower percentage of gays exist, and tell the OP he ‘chooses to be visible’, yet you insist you’re not a bigot. I’ve met plenty of bigots in my life, and I can call it like I see it too. You may be on a lesser, cowardly end of the bigotry scale, but your prejudice remains obvious.
To accuse the OP of having a chip on his shoulder is absurd. If leaving the house with his SO means facing intimidation and verbal abuse, it’s not hard to see how he might be a bit angry and defensive. It’s nice for straight, white folks to go around telling minorities that they should ‘expect’ this kind of bullshit, and to just ‘get over it’, without ever having to apply that ideal in their own lives. Sorry, the concept of being proud of who you are, yet accepting that you should expect hatred everywhere you go, just doesn’t quite jive with me.
My boyfriend and I are a pretty hot couple… if anyone stares at us I just assume it is because if they are male they are jealous and envy our sense of style and the fact we don’t have to worry about two legged cash eaters popping out 9 months after having sex (can you say DINK???) and if they are female then they are probabally thinking “Damn, I wish my boyfriend were that hot/stylish/non-assholish/cute”.
In all seriousness, I find myself gawking at straight couples all the time – they are just as interesting as gay couples. Often much more hidious and tragic, but still a good gawk.
ustwess: thank you for confirming that homosexuals are just as pig headed and arrogant as heterosexuals. This is a prime example that people are people, not matter their race, gender, stature or sexual orientation.
Way to be a misogynist, ustwess.
How exactly is ustwess exhibiting a hatred of women, exactly?
I wonder if ustwess has one of those little rat tail jobbies I see so many gay bois with.
I really don’t see how my comment makes me a misogynist – but hey, maybe you use a different dictionary than me. And no, I don’t have a pony tail like the rest of the gay boys (nor do I spell boy with an i). In fact, most people are surprised that I’m gay – they all think I’m straight. Guess it comes down to how flamey one is.
Finally, yes! Homosexuals are just as arrogant as heterosexuals. Except for the whole liking of the same sex, we are pretty simmilar.
People in Halifax stare in general whether you are gay or not. It is a small city so people don’t get out as much. Everyone stares here.
Gay guys are HOT. If I’m staring at you, it’s probably because I’m imagining you and your bf making out. I know it’s creepy, I’m sorry. It’s just so damn HOT. I shall try to resist in the future.
ustwess lets party.
I think that this was well written, and that the OP does mean it in a malicious way, sure people are going to stare no matter what, but yelling comments such as “Fag” from a car, is cowardly and pathetic and totally unnecessary, When people stare because they are admiring, most people including the OP can tell the difference, because it sounds to me like the OP is a very intelligent well minded people. I also believe that people read WAYYYY to into what he writes, for the simple fact of what it is… if you want to be ignorant and yell dumb comments and stare at what’s different, go take a long look in the mirror at yourself first before you start putting others down for being who they want to be. I’m proud of the OP for writing this it takes a lot of courage to speak out and love is a beautiful thing that should be admired, because they’re love is obvious strong, and adorable for being able to PDA and that’s just a beautiful thing to see in a world full of war, disrespect, economic downfall and all the other problems going on with society. 🙂