Yes, another retail bitch. I’ve worked in retail for 8 years, I love customer service, except around Christmas time. A special kind of evil emerges from ppl this time of year when they are faced with the thought of searching for gifts or outfits for parties. To these ppl, I offer this advise:
If it pisses you off to buy an outfit for a party with ppl you hate, or shop for a gift for someone who’s a pain in your ass, then DON’T FUCKING DO IT! Why put yourself through the hassle of spending your hard earned money of shit you won’t enjoy? Don’t make much sense to me…
Also, gentlemen, I applaud you for trying to pick out a nice outfit for your ladies. That’s very sweet of you. But I’m sick to death of getting the deer in the headlights look when I ask ‘What size does she wear?” Isn’t that fucking common sense? Check the size on some of her clothes before you shop? Maybe even the brands? Maybe even check to see if she’s plus size or not? (A personal favorite, trying to explain that a size 14 in one store isn’t the same in another)
To you ppl who think I’m just out to sell you anything and snap at me when I greet you and ask if you need assistance. I know my store very well, I know my stock. Fuck, I’m broke all the time because I shop too damn much, so chances are if you tell me what you’re looking for even if I don’t have it I can suggest a few other places for you to look. But you keep your mouth shut, and get even more pissed off when you can’t find it. When a simple “do you have XYZ?” Would have saved you the extra 20 minutes and some of the frustration.
And finally, don’t fucking blame me for being out of stock on items. It’s fucking 4 days to Christmas, what did you expect? Not my fault you left it to the last minute, and I’m really not going to stand and let you screech at me for it. And yes, you will shop here again. You’re fat (me too) and even if you shop at the other place, money is still going in my pocket 🙂 Merry Fucking Christmas!!!
—Helpful Personal Shopper
This article appears in Dec 17-23, 2009.
Shouldn’t this be in the love the way we BITCH section? I was looking for where the love was in this post but I never found it…
Wrong, moosepuck! The OP clearly stated “I love customer service…”
Thankfully, shopping for clothes for my dad is relatively easy since him and I are almost the exact same proportions of everything (I am my father’s son, after all), except that he’s about an inch shorter because he’s shrunk a bit and 30 years older.