When you buy your girlfriend a dildo do not bring all of your guy friends along to help you pick it out. After suffering through all their jokes I am plotting my sexual revenge and investing in a strap-on to go with your lovely gift. Watch your ass, hun. —”Peg”

This article appears in Mar 11-17, 2010.

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33 Comments

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  2. Most guys wouldn’t even think of doing so alone as people may think they were using the boy-toy on themselves. Am sure he purchased two but only provided you with one 🙂

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  6. His friends might also enjoy helping you pick out penis enlargers/pumps for him.
    Also, give whatever you buy to him as a Christmas or birthday gift with his parents there.

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  7. I’m on side with Mei…get him a penis enlarger pump. Get him those ‘suppliments” that they offer online for erectile disfunction, growth/enlargement pills the whole bit. Then get revenge by leaving the packaging where his friends will see it. I really like the xmas present idea L M A O .

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  8. He probably brought his gay friends so he could get input on what to get. I mean, I’m sure it was more comfortable for him to bring guys who have experience with having sex with another penis than bringing another girl.

    Have you TOLD them it bothers you when they crack jokes about it? Maybe it’s just me and the type of personality I have, but I don’t think I’d be embarassed about the jokes — I’d probably laugh my ass of and make some of my own. Then again, I’m the one cracking jokes whenever I do go sex toy shopping with friends and I’ve been completely comfortable shopping for sex toys with male and female friends (gay or straight). My point? Some people are just more open about these types of things and I’m sure they mean no harm, but if it’s bothering you, they should respect that. I know I would, even though I’m pretty open about that stuff. Tell them it bugs you. If they don’t fuck off after that THEN kick THEM in the nads.

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  9. peg, maybe you should now consider dumping dumbnuts, now that you have a ready to go anytime man.either that, dump him, find someone with a little more sensitivity. i think i hear q. coming in the door, go get her bud.

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  10. If your boyfriend has to buy you a dildo to get you off, his friends should be making fun of him not you.

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  12. Pretty Kitty,

    Why do you assume that the friends he brought were gay? You think only gay guys would help pick out a dildo? That’s the sort of narrow minded offensive assumption I’d expect to hear from kay, not you.

    Anyway all of you guys are taking this bitch way too seriously. OP seems to have a sense of humor about the situation, especially since shes investing in a stap-on and singed her post “Peg” get it? peg, like pegging… with the stap-on and the dildo… and the “watch your ass”? Did anyone besides me laugh at that?

    No where does OP go on about how “pissed” or “hurt” she is at her boyfriend or her friends. This whole bitch is just sexy playful banter, and I thought it was hilarious and pretty HOT.

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  13. “If your boyfriend has to buy you a dildo to get you off, his friends should be making fun of him not you.”

    dgaf, you’re either a virgin or just really bad in bed. Dildos are used by couples for foreplay, for DP without a third, or used solo when the other person isn’t around. Any guy who feels threatened by a dildo or any other sex toy is an insecure douchebag and should not be fucked.

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  16. “dgaf, you’re either a virgin or just really bad in bed.”

    LOL. Neither. You took my post a little too seriously there. It was meant as a comeback for her when his friends start making jokes. What, do we have to explain everything on here now?

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  17. I bought my last girlfriend a dildo. We bought it together though, it was something fun and sexy we did together. We used it a lot together (not on me though, nothing will ever enter my bum so long as I can help it!). It was great fun. Sometimes when I couldn’t keep it up, due to my erectile difficulties, it was pretty cool to use it on her or watch her use it. HOT HOT HOT!

    Shit, TMI on my part. I really shoudln’t post this, but I’m drunk, so nothing matters at the moment.

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  21. Sorry, Fizz, I read the bitch wrong — left my glasses at home and read “guy” as “gay” *blush*

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  22. I understood how your comment was meant to be taken dgaf, but I felt like bitching you out regardless… nothing personal, I’m just a bitch.

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  25. I would do this fun thing my bitch ex friend did to one of her boyfriends. While you’re having sex, before it goes in, punch him in the stomach or penis hard and just leave ;D. It was better in her situation though, because her and her bf had been together for 6 months or something have haven’t had sex yet, and would always say she was ready to finally have sex with him.

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  26. Maybe OP likes getting DP’d without the threesome? Like, penis in her vag and dildo in her ass?

    I’m sure there are folks out there who get off on that kinda thing *shrug*

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  27. Hey OP, wait ’till he has all his friends over, walk out with a strap on, and in all seriousness, ask if he’s ready yet.

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  29. I’m reposting … I don’t care.

    get a glow in the dark one…

    it looks like you’re turning the light saber on and off if you make the “ffffffsssssshhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeewwwwwwwww” noises.

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  31. zZz: another one gone? okay i have an idea. dear mod person what if we classified the site as xxx. i checked the movie classification site and that’s the best i can come up with

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  33. migth have been the sentence before it where I mentioned that girls love rainbows…
    but I still don’t know for sure.
    either way, the light saber was too classic to let slip by.

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