I see you trolling my neighborhood at 6 AM, your stolen grocery carts laden with envirobooty. And while I used to applaude your industriousness, I’ll be fucked in the ear with a pointy stick before you get any more of my recyclables. It’s not that I mind you taking them. I have neither the time, nor the inclination, nor the financial need to drag them down to the Envirodepot to cash them in myself. You would have been welcome to them. Except that I SEE you behind the Spryfield mall, with your bags and bags of booty, sorting out the refundables and dumping the rest into the MacIntosh Run. I see the bushes in the park beside my house littered with milk cartons and soup cans and shreds of blue plastic. I see the blue bags torn open at the curb, their payload of spagetti jars and margarine tubs spilling into the road. And I tell you, I did not go to the effort of sorting and washing my trash so some skeevy bum could dig out a dollar’s worth of pop bottles and dump the rest in a ditch.
I even tried to help you out. I separated the refundables for you, and put them in a separate bag. And you STILL tore open my regular blue bag looking for that last nickel. Well fuck you. The next time I see you coming down my street on garbage day, I am going to throw rocks at you and drive you off like I do the seagulls.
This article appears in Mar 6-12, 2008.
It’s one thing to toss garbage onto the ground..and i’ll never understand how people can just walk away from it.. But to actually tear open a bag of garbage and litter it onto the ground.. and for the sake of some piddly change!?? There must be a hefty fine for something like this, right?Great bitch, btw.
This has been a grievance of mine for years. I solved my own problem by a) bringing back my recyclables (I count them and mark the count on the bag as I was getting ripped off time after time at the recycling depot) and b) mark my blue bags ‘NO RECYCLABLES’ in huge letters. It seems to keep those messy bastards at bay.
yeah, great bitch, and thanks for the tips TTFN.
I had just moved into my new apartment, when I was startled by some guy who came up onto my second storey deck to grab the one jones soda bottle that we’d put out there. He looked in the kitchen door at me, said hey, and then went on his way. I couldn’t believe the nerve, and it happened a few times after that as well when I wasn’t home. So ever since I’ve been putting bottles out front, not even in bags, just to keep them off my property.
Throwing rocks sounds good, these thieves have it coming to them. I see them rooting through our dumpster in back, tho having a soon to be potty trained daughter, the diapers hold them off. Assholes. Those carts are ore over 200$ sometimes more to replace. the cops should get them for thievery.
SERIOUSLY! One of these assholes has been ripping open my blue bags, taking one or two things and dumping the rest IN MY GREEN BIN, empty bag included! Twice now, I’ve had to angrily sift through the compost and remove the non-refundables one-by-one. What the fuck! Is this a fucking cry for help? Or a cry for rocks?
never mind the guys with the shopping carts, I saw a guy one day DRIVING around in his new Honda, trolling for recyclables. He stopped in front of my house one morning, and I happenned to be in the yard, and he parked, blocking my driveway, and started picking up my blue bags…I grabbed them out of his hands, and called him a dirty thief! He took off, and I haven’t seen him since. Some nerve!! Must be hard up for gas money…no excuse for theivery!