I have had enough of the negative crap this year. Job loss and subsequent screwover by EI followed by inability to get hired because I’m apparently “overqualified” for everything I can find in the job market, debilitating illness, mounting debt, multiple deaths, struggles with depression (mine and my partner’s), and now the looming loss of our house, not to mention the incredible stress on our marriage.
ENOUGH ALREADY!
—Getting through the day is a full time job. Too bad it doesn’t pay bills.
This article appears in Nov 21-27, 2013.
At various times over the past 25 years I’ve been through just about everything you have described, frequently at the same time or in quick succession. It is so bloody hard to find a reason to go on, and I’m afraid I have no magic bullet solution. No psychotropic drugs, no eastern philosophies, no breathing exercises or “Don’t Sweat the Monstrous Shit” type platitudes. The one bit of advice I would offer to you and your partner is this: Don’t ever allow worry or fatigue to cause you to view the other as a burden. If you still care deeply about one another you are much stronger together. Don’t lose that.
Look for and find the good things; the little things that give momentary joy. Even if only a temporary respite from the worry and the stress. They ARE there and they help. When I hit my lowest the only thing I had left was the ox-headed and bellicose determination that “You Bastards Will Not Win!”
Stay strong.
X2 with the Col. Sonofabitch sentiments. Hold to each other and you will persevere.
Well said, Ivan.
Well put Ivan. Nothing to add.
Thank you very much, folks. I truly don’t know if I possess 3 o’clock in the morning courage, but OP’s post sure as hell brought back memories of that 3 o’clock in the morning fear. I would not wish that on anybody.
YOU MUST DO PHILOSOPHY
What is required here is philosophical engagement by which I mean not some form of Eastern obliteration of conscious awareness but rather intellectual engagement on social sites such as this. The important thing is not to “study” philosophy in some passive, student sense but rather to actively engage the minds of others assuming, of course, that they have minds to engage which, sadly, is not always the case.
If you require a model for “doing philosophy” you need look no further than me, Montrealman himself, who always manages to see the philosophical subtext in most bitches and, by the exercise of his penetrative intelligence, teases out their philosophical implications.
You have seen what I’ve just done, haven’t you? By striking a posture of superiority I’ve enraged the rednecks who will bluster and rant but who, of course, are easily dismissed by Montrealman’s enlightened reasoning. They go like sheep to the slaughter.
I hope that you will find this helpful.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Sorry, new avatar. Enjoy!
Captain and Tenille said it best ” Love will keep us together” I have faced many situations as well as OP, don’t ever give up, every day is a struggle sometimes but don’t lose sight of the goals you have set in life. Set your plans in sand and your goals in concrete.
Life ain’t about how many time you get kicked in the teees, s’about how you be dillin with dat boot to da gums.
sell yourself out as a contractor. If you’re constantly getting laid off, nobody needs you long term (As in nobody needs to fill your position long term) Hiring yourself out on contract means you’re working the exact same amount of time and earning twice as much money.
Just another typical day for a typical family in Halifax. I truly empathize but the opportunities, living costs and small town attitudes encourage most of us to move out West. My brother in law had enough and is moving his family out there. I may be soon to follow with mine. I was born and raised here and do indeed love it here but companies here want you to work like a dog for close to minimum wage with no benefits and be grateful for it. And now the shipbuilding program (which is to be a “boom”) has hit snags. All government hype to try and prevent the population drain from this province.
GO WEST YOUNG MAN!!!
It’s not difficult to imagine what you’re going through, OP – you are not alone on that count – years ago, I went through a very ugly divorce, betrayal, multiple deaths, bankruptcy, had to start from scratch – once you hit bottom, there’s only two things you can do – lay there and do fuck or start climbing out the hole. I choose the latter.
My partner once lost his job, his partner of several years and found out his deceased father was not his real father in the span of a week – the week before Christmas. He, too, hit bottom and knew there was only one way to go – up.
I truly sympathize with your situation – I honestly hope the best for you and yours.
Psh!
Keep the faith… things will get better; Im living proof.
OP, if you think seriously about what you just wrote, I think you would agree that most of it is just whining and crying and it isn’t what truly makes you happy.
happiness and wealth are not mutually inclusive otherwise the guys in Hollywood wouldn’t be so damn depressed and screwed up
. Here’s an idea for you: think about something that you love to do that doesn’t require an awesome job or a winning lotto ticket. For example, a musician doesn’t have to be rich and famous to love playing, an outdoorsy person doesn’t need a fancy cottage if a walk in a park does the same for him.
Maybe you are already doing what you love, like spending time with family, in that case, you need to spend a bit more time reflecting on your day and appreciate what you have.
Now get out there and start living!
Great Value isn’t really thinking about this rationally but there is one way you CAN take his advice. You should qualify for EI at this point. I recommend you use this time to really invest yourself into something you’d love to do if only you had the time. Job hunt doesn’t take 8 hours. Fill it up with all the music, art, science, reading, writing or paragliding you can.