You refusing to eat my pussy after I just sucked your dick = No round 2 for you! —Why should guys only get oral?
This article appears in Sep 4-10, 2014.
Deal Breaker
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You must be good; you just sucked us all through 12 hours of the space-time continuum. Maybe Stephen Hawking is interested in whistling in your wheat?
That must have been a 68 with an I.O.U. attached.
love your new avatar, ivan. great show
Thanks, Painey. One of my favorite memories of the 80’s, but nothing beats his performance in “Breaker Morant”
Do you have weeds in the ditch? Ain’t nobody got time for that!!!
Ewwwwww!
Anyone notice the date/time stamp on this bitch…”Posted Thu, Sep 11, 2014 at 4:00 AM” ?!
Are we time-travelling?
Yep, exactly what it was, Klyde, a 68 except without the IOU because he flat out told me he doesn’t like to do it and gave a pathetic excuse of an apology.
I asked him three times to do it that night, after I’d already blew him. The first time I just thought he didn’t hear me (I kinda whispered it). The second time, I said it loud and clear so when he still wouldn’t go down, I knew he was ignoring me. I was completely out of the mood by then and pointed out that *I* gave *him* head, so what gives! He doesn’t like to give it, but had no problem laying back and receiving it. Ugh
It’s not my pussy; I’m clean and shaved. This was the first straight single guy I’ve ever met who didn’t like to eat it! SO. FUCKED. UP.
I was dating him, but ended it. Yes, all because he refused to go down on me, hence the name of my bitch Deal Breaker.
Tit for tat. You receive head, you fucking give it back!
Did you at least give him his money back?
^That was what we call a joke. Not cyber bullying, you understand. I’m guessing the mod is in bed as several of my comments have been deleted on sight lately.
MizzNyowie if you want your boyfriend to go down on you more often just hide the remote control in there.
BE PATIENT
He was just being considerate. He had just gargled with a strong acidic mouthwash and thought that vigorous cunnilingus would be excessively harsh on your magnificent but sensitive labia. You must give him time. You must be patient.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Ewwwwww! X 2
Whether or not you’re clean and shaved, it is perfectly reasonable to choose not to be with someone who does not reciprocate your gestures, sexual or otherwise. Fuck everyone else and their outdated opinions.
“Fuck everyone else” … SirMeawaLot, this is horrible advice. First of all that’s kind of slutty and second of all, this day in age, one must practice discretion when selecting a partner as there are high instances of STDs/STIs in the population.
Also, I guess it is perfectly reasonable to choose not to shave your privates (equally as reasonable to choose not to go down on someone lest you get a hairball) but it’s never reasonable to choose not to be clean. That’s nasty.
With regard to outdated opinions – how does one know when an opinion is outdated? I agree that one should only hold an opinion if it is strictly in line with the current views of the majority or highly vocal minority. (Montreal Man, perhaps you have some input about this question?) Is there some type of expiry code we should be aware of, or must we base our opinions on how angry feminists/Social Justice Warriors get about them on the internet? Is this government regulated? Please reply ASAP as I have lots of opinions and I’m not sure if they are in line with the current regulations.
Sincerely,
Ho!s+
RSVP
: Ho!s+ (10:32AM)
An excellent point. When indeed is an opinion “outdated”?
All opinions are not so much “outdated” as incoherent since, by definition, they lack reasons which might be brought forward in their support. In other words, they are little more than “brainfarts” as I have characterized them elsewhere. So all opinions are internally incoherent rather than “outdated.” Indeed, it is incoherent to speak of opinions as being “outdated” or anything else. Lacking as they do all temporal or semantic reference, they are merely as chaff upon the wind.
I hope that this has been helpful.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Excellent MM. “As chaff upon the wind” might be a good essay title or hip new band name. Thank you for your input.
Now I encourage everyone (minus MM as he does not follow links) to watch this clip. Particularly if you are interested in equality and/or comic books. Ivan, you especailly should watch this. I imagine this guy as a younger you. He is one of my greatest new hero’s.
http://theawesomer.com/maddox-spider-woman…
It is 5 min long but well worth the time.
By dirty I meant unbathed, not afflicted by STIs. I simply meant that individuals should expect reciprocity in their relationships.
SirMeowaLot, so you are suggesting that just because MizzNyowie’s boyfriend didn’t want to go down on her that she MUST be “dirty” and “unbathed”? Wow. Just, wow. Why don’t your practice a little forward-thinking bud! Step in to the 21st century.
Some dudes just don’t like the taste of minge, should they be forced to endure several hours of cunnilingus just because their girlfriends gave them (an unsolicited?) B.J? Sounds like entitlement to me. I suppose if she bought him dinner, he should also have to put out, by your logic. tsk tsk. for shame.
Really, there are men that actually turn that down ? SMDH
if someone is straight, they should be turned on by the fragrance of the opposite sex’ genitals. biology is destiny ( to paraphrase ) not stinky, sweaty, chunks of urine soaked toilet paper peppered woo-hoo, but recently cleaned and natural. a natural stimulant.
if someone ‘doesn’t like the taste’ they are tasting the wrong sex.
While I agree with you BDM and personally enjoy the experience myself, I don’t think it’s fair to assume that just because you enjoy sex with a woman/man you should automatically be aroused by the act of putting their genitals in your mouth.
i think it should be beyond your conscious decision……it should be an autonomic response. anything that overrides that should be looked into. with a shrink.
See how tolerant Halifax is?
That was AWESOME!, Hoist.
Thanks for posting it. >: )
That was AWESOME, Ivan. Thanks for posting it.
No problem big guy! I knew you’d enjoy that guys rant as much as I did.
Didn’t you have “the conversation” about likes and dislikes first? Would’ve saved you the trouble. I suspect that 1) he doesn’t enjoy it, 2) his last girlfriend didn’t so he assumes you don’t like it or (the most logical reasoning for this) 3) he’s in it for him and him only. Of course there’s always 4) odour?
OP, you need to learn your order of operations. Like BEDMAS, bitch. Me first, him second. Otherwise, have fun dollin’ out blowjobs for the rest of yer life with no return.
It’s a 34 1/2, not a 68 with an iou.
Yors truly
Heatherann….I was wondering how “the conversation” might go? Is this discussed on dates? Yo man, nice to meet ya… Do ya eat da poon?
If a guy asked me if I like giving blowies, I’d prolly never see him again.
It’s not a first date convo, No_fool. It’s more of a 2nd or 3rd date type thing, when sex is imminent. This is how it goes.
GIRL: Alright, so we’re going to get nasty this thursday at around 8:23 PM, preferably in my bedroom. It is imperative that before we commence these activities we lay out some groundwork. I trust you brought a copy of your sex resume?
BOY: Yes, here it is.
GIRL: Excellent. I see it says here that you do not enjoy kissing snatch, is that correct?
BOY: Yes, that’s correct. I am somewhat of a germophobe.
GIRL: Well, well, that’s going to be a problem. I’m afraid snatch licking is mandatory round these parts.
BOY: Oh, I see. Well, thank-you for your time.
GIRL: Ah, what the heck, gimme a couple pokes anyway and we’ll go our separate ways.
BOY: No thanks, I just had a big meal and kind of needa poop.
GIRL: Oh. That’s gross.
BOY: Yeah, sorry. Can I use your washroom?
GIRL: I’d really rather you didn’t.
BOY: Oh come on. The closest one is the McDonalds down the street and that’s for customers only and I don’t have any money because I am from Halifax.
GIRL: Ugh. I guess But open the window and light a match and then I never want to see you again.
BOY: Oh what, like you don’t shit?
GIRL: Not in the houses of people I’ve only met 2-4 times!
BOY: You just hold it then?
GIRL: Yeah.
BOY: Isn’t that uncomfortable.
GIRL: Heck Yes it’s uncomfortable – why do you think I’m always making this face?
BOY: I was wondering about that.
GIRL: Look – just do your business and get on with it. I’ve got another apointment at 4:00
BOY: Ah, yes. Thanks. I’ll try and be quick.
GIRL: Good.
BOY: My name’s Todd by the way.
aaaaaaaaaaaand scene.
Claaaassic Todd.
If boyo wants a BJ from me, damn straight he’s going either to a) go down on me or b) ask me for one upon which I’ll say to him, “You first.” Only when a lover demonstrates a ready willingness to perform cunnilingus on me (as in, he takes initiative and heads south; prompting will not count) will I give spontaneous fellatio.
LMAO @ Ho!s – well done! Sorry folks but I’m one of those “not on the first date” types…..not even 2nd, 3rd or 4th. A few weeks….perhaps. By that time you’re fairly comfortable discussing likes/dislikes in the sack. For those one-nighters…sorry, but if your plan is to get down and dirty right away, be selfish! If you go all in and give a guy some head and get nothing in return, it’s your fault!