FUCK!!! So my neighbor has been dumping trash on my lawn for the past eight years now. I haven’t said a word about it, filed not one complaint. She claims that it’s my trash that’s floating over to her lawn, even though I clearly don’t eat at either McDonalds or Subway, and I keep my bin tied up to a tree far away from her. Year after year she collects various garbage items into a large plastic bag, trespasses onto my property, and ties the bag to my front screen door. She even dismembered the hockey net in my yard and threw it on my PORCH. So one day, I caught her sneaking into my yard with a large bag. I grabbed it from her, tied it onto her door, and stomped angrily back into my house. Three days later I get a call from the police for trespassing and am threatened with eviction from my home. Thanks!
—Dino
This article appears in Mar 19-25, 2009.
call a hitman!
or an arsonist for hire!
Just joking by the way (just in case…lol)
Hawhaw, clear yourself now, you wouldn’t want to be taken down as an accomplice to my hate-filled garbage rage.
Why didn’t you just ask her what the fuck she was doing on your yard?
and every other time you caught her?
I did. She’s quite the persistent mother-fucker.
Nice new avatar by the way, NGF.
glad you like it. i think it suits the name well 😀
Go rent a Siberian Tiger.
Or hook up a couple of loudspeakers activated by movement in your yard and have the stereo playing Barry Manilow.
Barry Manilow? Fuck, Dragonforce remix would have the crotchy woman flying faster than a cheetah with a rocket up its ass.
See if she has a pattern and try to determine when she’s gonna come over with her goodies – get out your digital camera and film the filthy cow. If nothing else, you could post it on You Tube with some biting commentary.
Nothing more reliable than rock-hard video evidence. What a fuck-cake. I’m sensing a video monitor standoff afoot.
Dino Jr. – Barry Manilow would either lull her to sleep or drive her nuts. Or have a buddy ask her if she would like a bear trap on her yard just like her neighbour ( He points to your place)
call a hitman! ha…
save the $$$ and hope for one last storm then put the hose to her entire yard. Let’s see her try to skate out the door like Christy Yamagouchi. Do you live near the commons? there’s always the classic Dog shit in a paper bag… I hear it’s bountiful this time of year from what I hear and if you don’t have a dog then you have plausible deniability.
Or get a karate-monkey or a lion.
“You can get around a dog… no-one fucks with a lion”
There’s always the classic sugar in the gas tank.
There’s always the classic sugar in the gas tank.
Pee.
I’m not saying you should whip it out in public (and get you charged with indecent exposure), but you could just save it for later and distribute it as you see fit…
Video camera is your best friend here. If she pulls that crap or you actually get evicted, take the evidence to the police. Of course, if you don’t have a camera, you could always post a sign by the door that says “you may be recorded by a video surveillance device that may include audio recording”. She doesn’t need to know the “may” means no camera.
Just counter-lodge a similar complaint against her, you each have the same amount of evidence at this point…pretty much nothing, what will happen is the Judge will get you both to agree to leave each other alone.
OR
Use the camera to film her doing exactly what she has claimed you do…and then add the charge of Criminal Mischief on top to one up the bitch and have the cow evicted.
Well If worst comes to worst, I could always have a trap door installed on my walkway. Thanks for the super idears, guise.
You could always get one of these:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/security/…
Peephole Camera and DVR. According to the description: “Mount this camera and LCD panel to your front-door’s peephole, and record all the goings on in front of your home while you’re away.” Just one more thing I’d get myself if I had the bucks. Sigh.
Or you could go with something much cheaper to act as a deterrent:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/security/…
Dummy Security Camera with Blinking LED. Now, that’s something I can afford.
Forget the video camera!! Get a dog! A big fucking dog!