Heading home from the Lawrencetown Beach on Monday I was entering the Halifax approach to the McKay. It was 5’ish, but not too busy for an evening rush hour. A 30-something man in military uniform, brownish SUV thingy, merged from my right. He was crossing numerous lanes and was obviously disappointed that my ESP wasn’t working. I guess I didn’t let him in as he would have liked or perhaps assumes he deserves. He had come across numerous lanes already and I could not tell when his lane-merging festival would be over. At my wife’s side of the car he voiced a few very unprintable words (I’m an elementary school teacher, so I won’t print them:). He then looked in my car…and, I believe he actually thought for a moment, perhaps for the first time in several minutes. He saw my 3 year old daughter and her friend sitting in the car, laughing, and singing. His face turned away from us in the most cowardly way. He messed up. This car wasn’t an aggressive fellow commuter, battling him for supreme position to cross the bridge. I wasn’t the enemy that held him up those very vital few minutes every day. Nope. I was a father, taking his child and her little buddy on a summer adventure to the beach. I was a husband, spending time with his wife. I was a guy, who, in no way was out to get him. Oooppss. We entered toll lanes side by side, he had since moved over to a lane on my side. He was unable to look over his head pointed directly over the wheel, he was obviously quiet now (sad, no dignity for an apology even!) I yelled to his open window, “You need to relax, my friend!” and off he went.
I just want him to know that, although I am sure he must have had a bad day or is unhappy in some way with his life or events in the world, please, my kid and her friends don’t need to hear about it. Perhaps thinking about your commute in a more positive light could help you. I bike in, that sure helps the ol’ road rage. Maybe, listen to CBC and have a coffee. I don’t know, ask around, I am sure you’ll find some other ideas, better than yelling at other people and swearing in front of 3 year olds.
I forgive you already, because I am sure that for the rest of your commute home you felt very small. Perhaps you will use it as a crux to change something in your life to gain some happiness or perspective. Or maybe, you’ll just be back at it again in the morning rush. Living for self, taking-no-prisoners on your charge to work. I hope, and believe in the more positive reaction…but do you? So slow down, breath, and relax…and if you can’t, at least watch your mouth around my kid.
—Rob
This article appears in Jul 23-29, 2009.
You handled it well my friend.
I don’t get the agressive/rude drivers in HRM. Today in Dartmouth Crossing I’m making a left turn and the opposing car is making a right turn. The rule is that when entering a two (or multiple) lane same-direction roadway that you stay in your own lane coming out of the turn. I held the left lane and buddy started into the curb lane but then slammed on his brakes and cursed me out for staying in my own lane, he could have kept going as he had started but instead he loses it.
Next time he should use his mirrors and look out the windshield to figure out where his car actually is on the roadway and use the drivers handbook to figure out where it should be.
Some people are some fucking hostile I tell ya! Not just on the roads either, but on the sidewalks too. Like this afternoon when I was walking home with my girlfriend along Barrington Street by Bear (restaurant) from the Superstore. Anyway, I just looked inside the window of the restaurant out of curiousity (it looks pretty nice by the way), also checking my beautiful self in the reflection in the glass and didn’t even see this cracked out fucking loser right beside me. Two seconds later I hear a voice say “what the fuck are you looking at!” “You talking to me? You talking to ME?” Surely enough crackhead dude was talking to me. I told him I wasn’t staring at anything, that I was just looking into the restaurant and didn’t even see him and had no idea what he was talking about, but he claimed I gave him a dirty look when I looked in the reflection of the restaurant.
Anyway, after him telling me to get back there and fight him and exchanging a few not so nice words with eachother, I told him to fuck off and go jump of a bridge, he gave me the one finger salute and kept giving me the stare down, and my girlfriend eventually calmed me down enough so we just kept walking in our opposite directions.
In hindsight maybe I should have just ignored him, but really, what was he going to do, stab me in broad daylight on downtown Barrington Street? Besides, no need for someone to initiate talking to a complete stranger like that! I don’t give a fuck what problems you have in your life, the least you can do is be civil and if you’re not you should expect some consequences. Fortunately though, crackhead jerk-offs like this guy are very rare in Halifax, but it’s still a bit of a put-off when it does happen. Vancouver is waaayyy worse!
There just seems to be so much hate and rage in the world today! It is unreal. But I guess without it, we would not have “Love the Way We Bitch” lol
Really though people, why IS there so much hatred and rage in people todaY? Is it the media? Stress? It just seems that people are just walking (or driving) around ready to boil over at a moments notice over nothing at all. Sad really.
Stress.
Life is rough when you are a typical macho man racing along in your 4 wheeled penis extension and some lesser human beings get in your way, how dare they!…
Yeah, cause women don’t drive 4x4s or cut people off. They’re all solid drivers and courteous to boot.
Miserable, hurried, stressed out, scared and angry people spend money to make themselves feel better. This is not a personal opinion, as I learned in my college marketing course. This is a philosophy of business. Our whole society is built to drive us into spending. And we accept the ride.
I have learned that the dollar is not almighty.
And as for ways to calm down, I find it helps to keep in mind that they are making another 24 hours for tomorrow.
Smee, not just stress, that and money. You have no idea what greed will do!