coffee shops aren’t for kids

oh god I hate that…I actually once had a lady turn to me and my friend, having an adult conversation in an adult location (i.e a coffee shop), and ask us to please refrain from discussing her current boyfriend woes (it was a little racy I guess, but we weren’t yelling or anything) as her children might overhear, and didn’t we know it was inappropriate to discuss that sort of thing in front of kids?I wnated to throw my non-fat vanilla latte with raspberry syrup at her, but it cost 4 dollars so I didn’t hehe

When I say ‘racy’ I mean that the subject of sex came up at all. it was appropriate conversation at an appropriate volume for the appropriate place. Would I have had that conversation if I was in a day-care centre? or if I was walking along the street, behind a mother with small children? no. but one can suppose that in a coffee house, serving adult beverages, that one can have a more mature conversation, because it is not the place for children! in that instance, I honestly feel that the children were the ones who were out of place: while the rest of us would be glad to accomadate them as far as tiny muffins goes, if they get loud/the conversation in the shop is inappropriate, it’s not up to the rest of us to change- it’s up to the mother to realize this is the wrong location for a child.No, I’m not some sort of child hater. I like kids. I taught dance to 3 year olds for years, it was wonderful. but I really dislike this ‘I’ve spawned-sense of entitlement so many parents seem to have. yes, I want free speach and free movement, but the other side of that is some common sense and curtesy. CAN you bring your child into a coffee shop meant for adults, adult movies, adult restaurants, adult nightclubs? sure. SHOULD you? let me flip this lilac, as I’ve been lurking here for a while and read many of your posts on the topic: would you want an adult hanging out at your child’s playground? what about sitting down in the magic circle at preschool? how about jumping into the ball pit at McDonalds or stealing all the crayons at your favorite family eatery? I’m guesisng the answer is NO, those are child spaces and times, specifically designed for the enjoyment of children, and adults taking the swings would detract from that experience and enjoyment for the people it was meant for. well then why on earth don’t you extend the same curtesy to adults????

exactly! if the kid behaves appropriatly, more power to you, honestly. If parents and their offspring respect my little bubble, I’ll respect theirs- I think that’s the root of all these many kids-in-public-posts. Adults don’t want their bubble of adult-independance popped by the crumb-crushers, and parents who feel that’s not only their right, but that everyone else must bend over backwards even more to accomodate their children’s bubbles of free-wheeling (and often loud and messy) fun. If everyone just extended some common curtesy to those around them, it’d allw ork out. oh why can’t everyone just get along ;)?

I’m not the OP and my incident happened in another, more adult oriented, coffee shop, just for the record. And yeah, just us is welcoming to families andt hat’s lovely- but my point was less aobut children and more about general respect. It could be made for ANY loud, obnoxious person with a sense of entitlement who thinks that their needs, wants, and desires can trump someone’s right (as you do seem to enjoy that word) to enjoy the space themselves. Now you might say I’m just contradicting myself- that by discussing my friends boyfriend problems in publc, I was impeding on your right, and the right of your mini-me’s, to enjoy the space. WELL that space was designed, and designated, for adults. when compromise happens, therefore, it should not be the peopel for whom the area was intended that need to bend, no matter how accomadating the space is for others. Just because they sell cocoa and have goldfish doesn’t mean it’s a kids free for all: it’s STILL an adult space, and those items help kids blend into the space, not give them the right to take it over.I’ve always wondered what those parents who expect the entire world to not only accomadate them and their children, but smile while doing it (and if you don’t you’re a child hater who wants to surprise them and their parents, clearly), anticipate happenign when their kids are older? the world isn’t like that. the world at large requires large amounts of compromise, and fitting in- as an adult, teenager, whatever, people need to know how to behave approrpriately in all situations, how to function when the world doesn’t cater to their whims, and how to compromise for the overall goodness of the group. so if a child is raised to believe that it’s perfectly all right for them to run around between tables, throw food, scream, yell, cavort, and in general make a loud sticky nuiscense of themselves in a space designed and dedicated for adults (no matter how many cookies they sell, it’s still a space that sells coffee, for adults, who want to read a book/work/chat quietly amoungst themselves, not be headbutted, poked, and deafened by children), what sort of rude awakening will they have when they are, gasp 12, and mom doesn’t think it’s so cute anymore,a nd isn’t ready to leap to their defence that they have the RIGHT to be in that space?I’m not saying don’t bring your kids to a coffee shop. I’m just saying when you know you’re brining your offsrping to a space that was designed for adults, make sure they behave approrpiately- if I am, as an adult, ‘home’ in that space, they are the ‘guests’. I may try to make them more comfortable by having coca and cookies for them, and keeping my voice down and my language cleaner (in my instance when said mother and brood of 3, plus friend and brood of 1, sat down near us, we shfited our chairs slightly, lowered our voices a bit more, and kept everything caouched in euphamism more than usual, because our parents raised us properly), but at the end of the day, the adults in the room are the ones calling the shots.it’s the kids turn when adults go to their spaces- like playgrounds, schools, child restaurants and events.

ok I’m going to pinpoint my point one last time: I used that story as an example of parents overstepping on behalf of their children in inappropriate spaces. it wasn’t a particularly racy conversation, and it was held at an appropriate volume. two mothers and their spawn sat down at a very small table, crowding it with kids and their assorted paraphenilia (I oh so love having my purse squashed by strollers), and then proceeded to have their own little conversation while their children ventured forth. one such tot kept toddling in the direction of our table, ever closer, entering that bubble of private-conversation between my companion and myself. when his mother, at last, came to retrieve him as he drooled on my shoe, she made the comment. it wasn’t in a ‘oh gee would you mind not talkign about anal gangbang bukkake you crazy people’ it was ‘how dare you have a private converstation that happens to be about a boyfriend cheating, and thus by neccessity include the word sex, somewhere where my nosy child might possibly hear”. so I agree with you- it’s not about the kids, it’s about the actions. in fact, my gripe was more with the mother using her kids bad behavior as an excuse to be rude herself.woo I hope that cleared it up.and since we’re bashing kids here (snicker), anyone else hate it when parents make their young, shy offspring order? particularly in places like tim hortons or subway or wherever, when there is a long line of impatient people hwo oftne have buses to catch and lunch breaks tick ticking away, it’s incredibly annoying to watch little-baby-bright-eyes stumble through their options, embarrassed at being put on the spot. how bout this: ask your spawn what they want BEFORE it’s your turn at the cash, then order for them? or at the very very least, have them know exaclty what they want so it’s a one step process if you must have them order, as opposed to an endless stream of ‘and what woudl you like sweety? tell the nice lady behind the counter what you want. what’s that? speak up. no you can’t ahve that. do you want x with that? no? yes?’ etc etc. and for the love of god, please, when there’s a line behind you, that is NOT the place and time to try to teach baby gruby face how to say please and thank you- if it’s holding up the line, stop prodding the toddler to have manners, say thank you yourself, and move along. woot. I feel I’ve hijacked this bitch nicely 😉

I think we need to consider a HedgeHom conspiracy after this thread…

Maybe I’m just trying to deflect suspicion from myselves. Oops. Myself. Preecccccioussssssssss…

is that anything like home fries, but without the ketchup?Frankly, I think Homie-G (as in Ginger) works so much better….

…aaaaaand I shut another one down. whn will i ever learn not to cross those lines…?

nope, I’m just me 🙂

I don’t know who this Hedgy is, but I’m a-likin’ what I’m a-seein’. You’re no poop, but you’re ok, kid.

Which begs the question – how does one go about, then, making you poop?

I noticed something funny today. This Board was a ghost town all weekend. now that we’re back in the work week, peeps is just a-postin’ away LOL