This is to the short and squat old man and his asshole friend (I’m guessing) standing in line at a local coffee shop on Quinpool last night. I was ahead of you in the line and I ordered the last lemon and raspberry donut and you just had to make a rude remark about how it was the last one and you wanted it AND to make yourself even more of an asshole you told the clerk who was serving me to put it back because selfish you wanted it. Then, god knows why, I was so kind as to offer it to you free of charge because you wouldn’t shut up about the damn thing and were giving me the death glare and you actually were brave enough to take it from my box of donuts without hesitation with a disgusting smirk on your face. Then you asked me, “Are you going to eat all the donuts yourself?” Just for the record A-HOLE you didn’t look like you needed another donut yourself, fattie! And no, I was not going to eat them all myself. I actually have a life and was having a party last night and they were for my guests. You and people like you make me so angry. I actually have a kind heart and people like you make me lose faith in humanity. I’m tired of having people like you ruin my day. —Angry Donut Lady
This article appears in Mar 31 – Apr 6, 2011.
Should’ve told him to suck it, OP. I wouldn’t be giving him any of my donuts. I don’t care what or who they were for.
Too bad you didn’t pull the whole “maybe if you didn’t have to carry around a spare tire around everywhere you go, you’d’ve gotten here faster to get that donut before me.”
But I guess you don’t mess with a fatty and their food. lol.
I’d have shown the old minger a radical new way to eat a doughnut, a la Eric Cartman’s interorectogestion.
I’d of taken it out of his hand, licked it, and handed it back to him casually smiling.
On the down side, he now knows that tactic will work.
He figured that since you already gave him a special donut for being an asshat, you’d give him more for being an ever bigger ass.
Stop being an enabler.
Happy April Fools 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdQqh9jvB6w…
You should have told him the donut company wanted to use his fat ass for a billboard.
if you are a male, i would have hung it from my dick, and said here you go. you want it that bad, then take it.
if a female, then i would have said plain and simply, fuck you asshole.
I would hve smiled nicely (well as nicely as I can) and say “That’s nice”, then continue on my way.
i would have shoved the whole donut in my mouth and flipped him the bird.
nooo not really. im all talk!
these ideas are amusing though 🙂
Should have made the fat bastard do a couple of laps around the building and give to him as a reward.
I’m with Bro Tim.
I would have said, you wna tit that bad I sell it to you for 5 bucks.
I certainly wouldn’t have given it to him.
I sure as fuck wouldn’t allow it to upset me. As it seems to have upset you.
I would have said “spriechen sie arsehole?”
Seriously, I tend to agree with Tim’s response. Except I probably couldn’t have resisted taking a big bite and saying (cue Samuel L. Jackson) “That is a TASTY donut!”
LS. You handing out cream-filled donuts?
Should have offered him your taut raspberry and had him cream your hole 🙂
nah senor, just the big old fat hunk of love meat.
I love the way you think Guyute.
It baffles me that people take this shit from people and eat it with a spoon. Start being rude to the people being rude to you. When someone is getting into my business and talking shit I simply say “DON’T TALK TO ME, YOU ANNOY ME” in a loud, but not yelling voice.
Never come between fat people and their right to access donuts.