Thank you heavy set girl who ‘clockbocked’ me a week or so back at a bar. I was totally “in” with a hottie from Dartmouth. It was nice and I sure wish you wouldn’t have gotten in the way. I respect your right to speak to me, however wish you would work on your timing in the near future.
If the brunette hottie from Dartmouth that approached a random guy near the entrance is reading this, please accept my apologies, should we ever meet again I’ll be sure to nut up and get you home before this kind of thing happens again. Also, I’d like to add you had nice eyes and seemed super nice. Oh, and you were an accountant.
—‘Front Entrance’ Attendee
This article appears in Jan 7-13, 2010.
OK, so you were a “random guy at the front entrance” AKA scoping for drunk chicks outside a bar. God forbid someone should have cockbloclked one of HRM’s finest douchebags.
Oh yeah, and the size of the girl who interrrupted this supposedly scintillating conversation has nothing to do with your whining about being “cockblocked”.
And, um, hate to tell you, but if the brunette accountant was so interested, a pink gorrilla on fire wouldn’t have swayed her.
Douchebag.
Gidget: are you claiming that cockblocking is a myth?
It’s called the friend system – when you see a creeper hitting on your friend, or she gives you an “oh shit help me” look, you intervene. Aw, you thought you were scoring, didn’t you.
you can be cockblocked by your own “friends”
Yuck.
Sometimes friends see their other friends in such a druken state that they know they are unable to make rational choices, ones that they won’t seriously regret the next day. Friends look out for each other, that’s part of what being a friend is…sorry “Front Entrance Attendee” if you have yet to figure that out.
Maybe if you spent more time thinking about how to be a better person rather than formulating where the best area to pick up vulnerable women is you would know some of the fundamentals of life.
Good job on figuring how to be the best sleazy douchebag though…thumbs up cool guy!
Ummm… Gidget, you need to learn to read. “…the brunette hottie from Dartmouth that approached a random guy…”
Seems like she approached him. Which is probably why he was so happy about it.
I’ve been “cockblocked” by a girl’s friends before and the majority of the time it’s their fat/ugly friend who does it. I have never seen (first hand or otherwise) one hot chick “cockblock” for another hot chick. And how do you know that this wasn’t at the beginning of the night? Maybe this guy was outside having a smoke when this happened. And you’re one of these women who thinks that it’s wrong to pick up a girl when she’s drunk, right? Gotta love your kind. The whole “a girl isn’t responsible for her drunken actions but a guy is” argument is just so adorable.
NW:
I stand corrected. I *did* misread. So, OP, the only douchebaggery you are guilty of is being sizeist because you didn’t get any.
And, no, I don’t think it’s wrong to pick up a girl when she’s drunk – if someone, male, or female, goes out and gets shitfaced enough to have random sex with strangers, more power to them.
I took offense to the comment (which has been reiterated), that it has to be a fat or ugly chick doing the cockblocking. As if only those people considered to be “unattractive” step in when someone is making a play for someone else.
See, I got pissed about an assumption, and I made one. Thanks for pointing out my mistake, NW.
The whole state of being too drunk to make rational choices is fucking bullshit. Being drunk lowers your inhibitions and that’s it. Some people use it to save face after a particularly sleazy drunken hookup, and other people use it as an excuse to get away with being an asshole, irresponsible, or abusive. Some even use it as a way to play the victim and blame someone else for their own actions. Unless you’re passed out or something, you are still capable of making rational choices, you just choose not to.
Oh, and everyone knows that you are lying about not being able to remember anything. If you weren’t unconscious, you remember it.
“I took offense to the comment (which has been reiterated), that it has to be a fat or ugly chick doing the cockblocking.”
ok, I read that in this case it was a pork-o that did it and that it was undesired…
I didn’t read anywhere that it’s ALWAYS an uggo or buffet king that insists on chiming in.
now granted… I would say it USUALLY is… either that or some bitchy characteristic that some chica has….
Sometimes the “unattractive” chick gets voted to keep the other gals “safe”, because even her friends think she’ll never get hooked up at a bar, and therefore will be around the entire night to watch out for her buds.
As the former “token fat chick”, I speak from experience. Then I started hanging out with guys, and coincidentally, got happier, lost weight, and now play “wingman” instead.
There is always next weekend…
female wingman works WAY better than muff buffer…
kudo’s to gidget for slicing it off to the cobra commander.
were I single, I’d be lookin for someone like that… to wingman for me… not date.
🙂
Am I the only one who noticed he called it “clockblocked”????? lmao. It’s “cockblocked.” If you didn’t know that, maybe you shouldn’t be trying to get any at all if you don’t know the difference between a clock and cock. Girl was lucky she got away.
Well, I think you’re the only one who noticed wrong. Did they add an L or move it?
They moved it twice and put it in quotes both times…I assume to get it past Andy-the-censor.
HaliwoodGirl: He wrote “CLOCKBOCKED”. Not Clockblocked.
Cock-blocks, clock-bocks, whatever you want to call them, suck! Don’t we live in a world where women are now equal, independent, rational, and fully capable of making their own decisions? Isn’t that what feminists keep telling us men? Well, I fully agree!
If a girl doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to go home with me, I am perfectly fine with that and fully expect HER (note: HER, not her chubby, jealous friend) to tell me so. It’s fine, really – there are plenty more girls out there. Seriously, most guys aren’t “creepy serial killers who are going to rape and murder you.” The vast majority of us just want some nice, consensual fun. Besides, how do I know that the girl I’m going home with doesn’t have some dude with a baseball bat waiting back at her place to beat the shit out of and rob me? Everyone’s taking a risk, sure, but we’re all grown adults fully capable of making our own decisions, responsible for our own actions, and most of us are willing to take certain risks in order to achieve a more desired result.
Finally, and not to get on too much of a tangent, but I think a lot of it comes down to North Americans’ generally more prudish attitudes towards sex. Sex is fun, healthy, and shouldn’t be something people are scared of or ashamed about, especially women. I know you always have to be cautious, everyone does, but ladies, just take some self defence classes and carry some bear spray to keep the few real creeps away and try to enjoy yourselves!
Ha! So, he did!
I didn’t know it had a name! Cockblocker chick is a kind of chastity belt, chaperone, nurse and bodyguard all wrap up in one–the rest of the girls can let loose when she’s watching their back. It’s a thankless job sometimes though–often she’ll get ditched when the other girl(s) decide CBC’s good sense is cramping their style.
I think women like sex fine…it’s everything that comes along with it, at times, that inhibits them.
HKM I agree…I am a guy and I see it that way, sex is awesome…but the control and manipulation that sometimes comes along with that is just not worth it.
Men and Women are fucked when it comes to relationships.
I am a very good looking guy but I have been hesitant for awhile now…it’s hard to tell how a woman is going to behave, will she be communicative and open and cool, or is she going to be manipulative and slightly deceitful. It sucks, Halifax is FULL of beautiful women but I just find myself retreating.
You don’t have to tell me, DER…it’s been 10 years! I am actually thinking of stocking up on Tic Tacs (look out, qpmzwonxeibcruv, ha ha sob!) = p
He never said the girl was “unattractive”…he said she was “heavy set”. Last time I checked, they were not synonymous with each other.
I’m a heavyset girl, by the way. I’ve never been referred to as “unattractive”, unless it’s been done behind my back.
In my experience with Halifax bars, a girl simply has to be looking at a guy to be considered “approaching” him…or merely walking his way.
Dude, you’ve been “buddy-blocked”…the girl had a friend square you away. Cause if chica had really wanted you, she would have stuck around.
Better luck next time.
One more thing: what makes anyone think that the “chubby” chic in the group is jealous? Honey, lemme tell ya something. I remember a night, a few months after the birth of my son. We all hit up a few bars. Yep, it was the start of my “sad, chubby life”…
We get on the dance floor, are having fun…these three skinny chics start laughing at US (me and my girls). One made a snarky comment about, “Are THEY seriously looking to hook up tonight? Better hope they have some money hahaha”.
They ended up getting hit on by three overly-gelled, bathed in Eau Du Crap, orange guys.
I got hit on by my extremely-attractive, nice-smelling, CLEAN husband.
I don’t remember feeling any jealousy that night….weird.
do the bitch that fucked you up fool.she is probably 10 times better than the other one anyway.
The ugly or big fat cock-blocker is a classic character in girls night out. She’s got much less self esteem than the rest of the skinnier more attractive girls, but feels comfort being accepted by the hotter whole… until they all want to go downtown. Then she knows she’s the last one to be noticed, and all the insecurities start rushing back. Douchebag or not, low self esteem girl will purposefully interrupt any attempt by a guy to pick up her friends because she’s mad jealous it wasn’t her.
It’s very well known, and men have come up with a way to prevent this from happening to them in the future, I suggest you have a look at this song and it will explain everything…
youtube this: “stephen lynch she gotta smile”
choose the first result… 4 minutes worth watching, totally hilarious and educational! 🙂
Yeah guys you can keep telling yourselves that. In reality, as others have posted, usually, cockblocking occurs because the girl you’ve been hitting on does NOT want to be around you. Too nice to say anything, she uses her friend to drag her away from the situation. If she wanted to talk to you, she’d tell her cockblocking friend to fuck off.
fizz said this:
“Oh, and everyone knows that you are lying about not being able to remember anything. If you weren’t unconscious, you remember it.”
Uh, memory loss is a common effect of drinking too much…
fuck.
Yay sarey! Clockblockers UNTIE, the truth is out there!
LOL (yes, I spelled stuff wrong on purpose).
I disagree with you sarey… the girl who’s too nice to say no is often the girl getting tagged at the end of the night… and if that girl is too nice to say no, she’s certainly too nice to tell her rogue fat friend to fuck off even if she’s dying to get a bone.