I’m SICK of hearing your fucking smoke alarm go off every single day around supper time. You either need to stick to cooking things in the microwave or get up off your lazy fat ass and clean your oven! Nothin’ but a bunch of pigs in this town. —Driven Insane

This article appears in Jun 14-20, 2012.

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17 Comments

  1. Oh, look, OP. You’re giving my middle finger a boner…turn on your tv, or radio, or take a fucking valium, or something.

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  2. This bitch got a well-earned Ernestine snort. Reminded me of my own relationship with home fire alarms – whenever it started whooping, the family joke was: “Maw’s cooking!”

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  3. If the smoke alarm is anything like the ones in my building even a toaster sets the damn thing off. So give them a break. It’s pretty bad when you know someone new moved in cause you hear the smoke alarm go off all the time till they clue in to take it down while cooking anything at all.

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  4. and you know stove is dirty how again? maybe they are doing giant doobies everyday at that time? or hey, maybe it is a gigantic plot just to drive you more fucking nuts, than you already sound and seem to be?

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  6. The one in my apartment even beeps when you have a shower (the alarm is between the bathroom and the kitchen.) It’s a kind that is screwed into the wall and you can’t turn it off so we’ve gotten use to the damn thing going off all the time.

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  7. ovengate!

    they are trying to infiltrate your mind by driving you insane…
    don’t let them… don’t play their game.

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  8. OP… have you ever lived in an apartment before?

    This is nowhere near as bad as communal living gets. Nowhere NEAR.

    Maybe the smoke alarm’s busted. Or maybe they DO burn their food. Whatever, fuck you either way, ya nag.

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  9. I’d be pretty annoyed too if that happened every time I was getting ready to relax and have a meal after a day at work. Why the backlash? You guys would be perfectly ok with this? Every day? Get off your high horses.

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  10. it’s less annoying than the crying baby (whom I’ve entitled the moniker ‘crying baby’) that lives beside me.
    at least you can simply turn the alarm off…

    crying baby has cost me many a peaceful nights sleep when I forget to put the ear plugs in.

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  11. I have been fortunate enough to avoid that Z, although there was the 8 or so kids that lived above me just on weekends, they didn’t cry they just ran around and made a ton of noise and their mom cussed them out rather loudly. Every Saturday morning.

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