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Looking for advice and this place is crawling with people with free advice. A coworker has been cheating on her boyfriend for over a year.
He is a good guy. I want to tell him, but I don’t want to make shit awkward for myself at work. And no, they don’t have some open arrangement. What to do? —grossed out
This article appears in Aug 4-10, 2016.
22 Comments
Tell him. One sided relationships are not healthy.
It’s not your business to say a word.
Nothing disgusts me more than a cheater. When you are in a relationship, you enter in to an agreement to respect your partner’s feelings and have their best interests in mind, not just your own. Anything less is just pure selfishness. I would rat the bitch out in less than a heartbeat!
mind your business. The Universe will look after all three of them.
I agree with all four of these opinions. Cheating on someone is a shitty, selfish, thing to do but it’s not really your place to involve yourself. A good friend? Maybe. A co-worker (whom you don’t really describe as a friend rather a ‘nice guy’) not so much. Do you think he’ll believe you anyway?
If you really feel you MUST involve yourself, why not ‘confront’ the cheater instead and tell her you’re aware of what’s going on? That might coax her into coming clean and be a better option.
It depends on how much of a friend this guy is. If you two are close buddies and if you don’t care about getting reamed out by the cheating GF, then yes, I’d probably tell the guy. Life is too short for anyone to waste their time and money on people that don’t love them back.
Remember one thing: the messenger always gets shot. Stay out of this or send an anonymous private message to this poor sap via social media under a pseudonym.
Cheating is what cowardly, immature people do. If they want to be with someone else at least have the cojones to end things with their partner first or discuss open relationship options honestly. Only cowards want their cake and eat it too.
I think most people would WANT to know they were being disrespected by a cheater. The hard part is being the messenger.
Don’t enter into this unless you have undeniable proof; which you should then send to all parties involved anonymously.
Or, mind your f*cking own business you nosey cow
Sounds like she wants to get caught if everyone at work knows what she is up to. Odd are he knows but doesnt want to admit it.
I’d find a way to do it anonymously. Protect yourself first and foremost.
If you have seen evidence that one of the partners in a relationship is being mentally or physically abused you could offer support but, in general, it’s always best to stay out of other people’s relationships. It’s a no-win situation for the messenger. Also, if you are waiting out the relationship because you are interested in the “good guy” then it’s definitely best not to be the bearer of bad news.
What about who she is cheating with?
Just go to them, and say: “BAD DOG…!”
Obviously you’re asking for advice from here so that speaks volumes!
Couldn’t think of a worse place to get advice!
It’s not the fault of the person she’s cheating with!
He / She has nothing to do with it. It’s possible the person she’s cheating with could be in the same boat, and not know she’s actually cheating with them.
The blame is solely on her as she’s the one allowing to happen!
A lot may depend on how well you actually know the people involved. If you have been really good friends for years perhaps it would be worth taking a chance to inform a friend. But if you barely know them it mostly will come across as just being a tattletale. And those kind of people often get hell from both the cheater and the victim, for many reasons. After all if you really do not know them well how do really know that they may not have an open relationship? Or that perhaps the guy may be into a cuckold fetish etc. Maybe they are big fans of Dan Savage and many of his themes. Best to probably just stay out of it as it likely will all blow up in your face and you may have to work with this person for a long time, unless you plan to change jobs soon.
No, no, no. It’s none of your business. Stay out of other people’s relationships.
Something tells me you’re hoping to find “Nice Guy” single some time soon.
Just sleep with him even it up
Not your business.
Stay out of it.
Just sayin’.
Unless it’s me that is being cheated on.
If that were the case, telling me would definitely be the proper thing to do.
For sure.
Mind your business! This person is not your best friend. It is none of your concern.
Stay out of it. The cheater will get caught on her own. They always do eventually.
Find a way to tell him anonymously
The spouse already knows.