The Swine Flu is like every other flu out there. Just because it has killed people in the poorest part of Mexico just means that they didn’t have the proper health care to take care of it. Just make sure you wash you hands and cover your mouth when you cough. If you do get it treat it like a normal flu!!
—Not a pandemic
This article appears in Apr 30 – May 6, 2009.
What gauls the hell out of me is the way some people freak out & refuse to eat pork because they’ll get swine flu that way. Where did you misplace your brains, you fucking morons??? I can’t believe that the pork industry could tank because of stupid, panicky idiots.
http://bouncewith.me.uk/europe/8027043.htm
now I’m even more terrified 🙂 thanks a lot NW!!!
actually, I could be wrong on all the following information, so correct me if that’s the case but: The definition of pandemic, isn’t the death rate, it’s how easily it is spread. In which case I do believe that WHO pandemic alert is 5, 6 being the highest. In that sense it is a pandemic. As well, I think some concern is in that of comparing the virus to the Spanish flu (timing of the outbreak…blah blah blah). As such, I think that may be where the concern lies. However, as of now, it isn’t that big a deal HERE in Canada being all mild cases, and like TTFN say’s about the pork thing…like seriously come on, I have heard about some countries not even importing pork from certain area’s, don’t have the facts on that so state where but really…it’s RIDONKULOUS!
haha what! zombies! ridiculous!
OMG more ridonkulousness, good thing I have moved on to reading my Zombie survival guide.
FA, I think you have it right. Pandemic does not equal deadly pandemic. Each year the seasonal flu is pandemic.
Now, about those zombies. Remember people…3 words: De Cap Itation.
While it sounds awesome, that’s not a real news story.
We can continue to hijack this thread to talk about zombies though. Who’s coming with me on my yacht?
I can’t believe some zombies!!!
They rise from the dead and have nothing better to do than go to work at Metro Transit as bus drivers!!!
Ahh miles, but don’t forget to warn them that the zombie is still alive when decapitated, so watch out for those jaws!
LOL @ nevermind
PAS, is your yacht, high off the water? I’m up, we should definitely work on finding some little island to barricade though, grow food and what not then.
PAS: Your yacht is a deathtrap that no self-respecting zombie survivalist would set foot on! Zombies do not require oxygen and can therefore “swim” to any locale that your yacht could possibly take us to. Me, I’m heading for Metro Self Storage in Bayer’s Lake to survive the initial wave and to stock up before the hordes arrive. It’s got lots of fences, metal construction and loads of gear, automobiles and weapons. Superstore isn’t far and there’s a gas station less than 500 yards away. Perfect place to wait out the initial wave. Then I’m heading for the Rockies. Zombies will freeze solid once they get above the snowline and we can travel in relative safety along the mountain range, heading down into cities and towns for supplies only when necessary.
FA: Have you read Max Brooks’ second book? World War Z. It’s amazing! One of the best books I have ever read. Even better than The Zombie Survival Guide in my opinion.
Miles: Wrong three words. The correct words are: Destroy The Brain. Decapitation will only leave behind a severed head that is still capable of biting a person around the feet/ankles thereby spreading the infection into an able-bodied host. Only way to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain matter.
Have you ever seen a zombie swim? I don’t think they’d be very good at it, so the sharks would get them. So we’d have to watch out for zombie sharks. And even if they decided to walk to my island, they are slow enough walking without being slowed down by water, that they would certainly never reach me.
And that’s if I even need to leave the boat. The fishermen would mostly all be zombies already, so I can catch all the fish I need for eating, and use the bits leftover to make bio-fuel to keep the boat running. Sure we can stop here and there if we want to stock up on things, or we can just steal a new yacht each time the old one gets boring/runs out of things.
You may feel safe on your yaucht, but you’re completely forgetting about the ZOMBIE PIRATES from Somalia!
According to Max Brooks, there are a few reasons why a boat may not be the safest. 1) Cruise ships infected will inevitably unleash a bunch of floating life-vest wearing zombies onto the high seas. 2) zombies bloat and float as they decomp. 3) they walk along the sea floor and can climb anchor lines or migrate to nearby islands.
Overall however, taking my chances on the ocean is not a bad idea. You will need to find a safe port though to weather storms in and to resupply. Those can be major obstacles.
I also (embarrasingly) stand corrected on the decapitation thing. Clearly, destroying the brain is the proper method for vanquishing a zombie.
I also think the citadel is an excellent place to go to fortify yourself against Zombies.
Exactly on the boat thing miles, and yes I have read world war z, and I am currently reading the survival guide, and excitingly waiting for the graphic novel coming out in October?
The other unfortunate thing about the boat is all the people in a mad panic that have the same idea. As such, getting more boats probably won’t work. If it is a world wide outbreak, the Rocky’s sound good to me. Just got to make sure I have enough survival supplies and skills to make it. As well, if you are amongst more people, I would make sure to build a “team” work atmosphere right of the get go, i.e rationing food supplies, wood for fires, finding a way to quarantine the sick so that it doesn’t spread as fast, you know that kind of thing. People can be just as much the enemy as the zombies, so watch out for that shit, as great an ideology some people to believe anarchy is, it would never work, if you find yourself in a situation like that, get out before you get killed or people’s stupidly let the zombies in.
PAS: Zombies don’t actually swim, that’s why I put “swim”. They can walk along the bottom of the sea floor and get wherever they need to go. Just like on land, they travel in huge hordes, think thousands, and you would be stuck in a place where you had no where to run. Litterally. They don’t sleep or stop for a break, like we need to, so they will cover ground much more quickly than you would expect. As for zombie sharks, they’re really no more dangerous than regular sharks (which terrify me anyway lol). You couldn’t trust any fish out of the sea anymore either, because they most likely would have fed on bits of decaying zombie flesh floating around. They wouldn’t necessarily be hosts (zombies) themselves, but they would certainly be carriers at the very least. Eat one bit of bad fish and you’re in for more than stomach cramps. The Bio-Fuel idea actually isn’t that bad, except for one thing. The smell of rendering fat or fish oil for fuel would surely draw the hordes to you. And trying to get yourself a new and suitable boat everytime something goes wrong with the one you have will expose you to potential infection or death. Taking to the water is an absolute last resort and should only be considered when you have no other options.
I agree never wrong that it would be sketchy eating fish, but as long as they are well cooked, it shouldn’t be a problem, same with all the other animals.
Let’s get together and watch 28 days later :|
The ONLY reason this flu is spreading quickly is because hardly anyone has any immunity because it’s “new” to most of us…there was an outbreak in the 70s I believe, but other than those exposed back then, none of us would have any sort of exposure before this. Back then there was a “swine flu” vaccine you could get. So…I’m pretty sure governments will start vaccinating those who are most at risk (older people, people with chronic diseases, those who live with people at risk, etc…) soon.
I saw a thing on the news last night that the ad campaigns back during the last outbreak were ridiculous. They showed one where the announcer said “grandma had a heart condition and got the swine flu and then she died so get a fucking swine flu shot” or something to that effect.
But for fuck sakes ZOMBIES? Shit.
FA: Therein lies the problem. On a boat, in a zombie survival situation, you have VERY limited supplies. The propane for your stove wouldn’t last very long and refuelling regularly would be dangerous. You could have a burn barrel, but any kind of fire on a ship is an extremely bad idea. The best thing to do in a zombie survival situation is to eat prepackaged or processed foods, wild edibles such as nuts and berries and to avoid meat in general. It sucks, but going vegetarian is the safest thing to do.
And to the OP: Sorry, but your bitch was lame and boring. I had to hijack it with a MUCH cooler topic. 🙂
But what if you had one of those cool sub’s like Chinese dudes, but you had shit to garden with, and room to raise cows, and than just go to places where their is below zero temp’s to restock. Less worries of panic stricken people overtaking your fortification.. You can pick and choose who you carry with you…noah’s ark but WAY cooler. And hey maybe get hooked up with one of those cool diving suites.
Here’s a question, since guns aren’t really as readily available as the movies make them seem, what would be your next first choice of common item to keep with you as a weapon?
A bio-dome type shelter would be great, I’m sure David Suzuki would have the best zombie/fallout shelter around.
crow bar, I think, I am not finished the book, but having no weapon experience, that would be what I would want. I wanna get trained on one of those spiked ball chains on a rod, but considering how much of a freakin klutz I am, probably not so wise. But go medieval weaponry, by the sounds of it you can stock up on those with out being noticed by authorities.
hmmm…I’m kinda geeking out on this one a little. O WELL
Anything that can crack a skull is good. But most people aren’t strong enough to do that. Running is good. You basically don’t want to be in biting range.
I think crowbar or hatchet or machete are good. Small enough to tote around, but effective at close range. They also have practical uses for breaking in to stores to loot, chopping fire wood, etc.
A nail gun, or just air gun hose & cannister like on No Country For Old Men would be nice, especially as a backpack. But it’d need to be refilled or swapped out every so often.
PAS: The two best non-firearm weapons you can have are A) a machette and B) a WWII Era German (not Nazi) trench shovel. The machette can be used either for zombie killing or as a general survival tool. And the WWII era German trench shovel can be used for digging of course, but it also is a great zombie killing weapon. It has a serated sharp edge on one side of the blade and you can pull out the handle, which has a spike on the end of it, intended to be used as a pry bar for removing rocks while digging trenchs. It doubles as a great skull piercer. Since the trench shovel isn’t exactly a common item, I’d go with the crowbar. It can be used to kill zombies and pry open locked doors/gates/crates of weapons. Also, while a BIO-Dome type shelter sounds cool, the zombies WILL find a way IN, which is probably going to be your only way OUT. Confinement of any kind is a bad idea.
FA: Any type of weapon you choose should be a non-specialized weapon. You’re pretty much going to be forced to carry all your necessities on you at all times, so any weapons must have a secondary purpose. While medieval skull crushing weapons (such as the morning star) sound cool, the time and effort required to become proficient with them is too much. Also, you’re in as much danger of injuring yourself with it as killing a zombie. You either need to start training with it now, so you’re both familiar/comfortable with using it and are able to ensure a high kill ratio with it or move on to something more common. You simply won’t have the luxury of learning to use it once the apocalypse begins. As for geeking out on this one… As you can probably guess, I’m a bit of a zombie nut. I’m actually a member of ZUAA: The Zombie Uprising Awareness Association. I think Zombies are the coolest/scariest thing of all the “monsters”. Werewolves are cool, but you only have to worry about them 13 nights out of the year and they’re very few and far between. LAME! Vampires?? Pfft! Hunt them during the day. WAY too easy! Zombies on the other hand come by the thousands and everyone who gets bitten becomes one. Day or night. Young or old. Eventually, someone will be outnumbered 6 billion to one.
I say go farmer and get a scythe. One swoops and off with the head, 90 degree turn of the blade and downward stroke, no more brains = no ankle biting. It has the added advantage of a long reach.
Three: It also has the severe disadvantage of being bulky, hard to handle and extremely slow. It’s meant for cutting wheat and grass, not flesh and bone, so the blade will dull very quickly and could get caught in a zombies neck/spinal column. It also serves almost no other purpose and would be heavy as hell to carry around all the time. Especially if you need to switch weapons.
Fair enough, though I would argue a whet stone in the pocket and an aluminum shaft make them light. How about a sharpened hockey stick? Poke their brains out and serves well for a pickup game…
yes three…the pick up games will be critical for keeping up morale.
I say you play with the zombie heads as pucks too
Anything that swings, you must remember that the momentum that you put in the swing, if you miss, you could loose your balance giving a zombie quite an advantage over you. As well, as nevermind said, if it get’s caught and you have other zombies to look after, your in trouble.
hmmm yes, I suppose going all jason on their ass could be fun.
You guys are freaking me the fuck out! Thanks a lot bitchers, I’m gonna have zombie nightmares for a week!
hey, better to face you’re fears now than have to deal with them in the midst of an outbreak while your still in denial.
hahaha the front page title for the globe and mail read’s “Pork industry panic as pigs catch the flu” I just had to share that..too funny
Instead of a Bio-dome or a boat couldn’t you build some crazy huge hot air balloon thing…I mean zombies walk everywhere don’t they? Couldn’t you make some island in the sky (like on duck tales when they needed to get all the gold from the long lost island under water) tie a bunch of balloons and create some floating safe haven for non-zombies. Zombies can’t fly right? I don’t know much about zombie killing and shit – but I’ve never seen any movies with flying zombies.
nice thinking Real Chick. You’d have to make sure that you had enough fuel to keep the baloon-island afloat long enough that all the zombies feed on themselves and die off.
btw, nice Ducktales reference!
A Teddy-Ruxpin-style ship might be called for too. …for better mobility, of course.
Duck Tales, woo oooh!
D-D-D danger lurks behind you…
I’m gonna have that in my head all day now.
…There’s a stranger out to find you…
(How is Ducktales stuck in your head a bad thing?? lol)
It’s definitely not a bad thing, just a little weird.
It’s a great song.
Hahahahaha!! I love what I’ve turned this thread into. It’s gone from Swine Flu to Zombies to Duck Tales! Now that’s how you hijack a shitty bitch!! 🙂
The floating island is a cool idea, but to keep something that large airborn for that long. I dunno. That’s an aweful lot of fuel. And if you crash, everyone on board is doomed to either die on impact or be devoured by zombies afterwards. I’m more inclined to think the Teddy Ruxpin style airship would be better. You could set down when you need to refuel and resupply. Although, that could be dangerous.
.
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Might solve a mystery…
Or re-write history…
Ducktales! Woo-oo!
You are definitely the hijacking champ NW.
I just had to google this 🙂
Life is like a hurricane here in Duckburg
Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes – it’s a duck blur
You might solve a mystery or rewrite history
Duck Tales, Oo-oo
Tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales, oo-oo
D-d-d-danger, watch behind you – there’s a stranger out to find you
What to do? Just grab onto some Duck Tales, oo-oo!
Not pony tails or cotton tails but Duck Tales, oo-oo!
When it seems they’re headed for the final curtain
Bold deduction never fails, that’s for certain
The worst of messes become successes!
Duck Tales, Oo-oo
Tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales, oo-oo
Not pony tails or cotton tails but Duck Tales, oo-oo!
LOVE IT!! NM – I’ve been singing it since yesterday when I wrote the post…man I loved that show. And I got that gummie bears, bouncing here and there and everywhere in my head now too. They came on right after each other after school.
Dashing and daring,
Courageous and caring,
Faithful and friendly,
With stories to share.
All through the forest,
They sing out in chorus,
Marching along,
As their song fills the air.
Gummi Bears!!
Bouncing here and there and everywhere.
High adventure that’s beyond compare.
They are the Gummi Bears.
Magic and mystery,
Are part of their history,
Along with the secret,
Of gummiberry juice.
Their legend is growing,
They take pride in knowing,
They’ll fight for what’s right,
In whatever they do.
Gummi Bears!!
Bouncing here and there and everywhere.
High adventure that’s beyond compare.
They are the Gummi Bears.
They are the Gummi Bears!!
There is a serious lack of good TV show intro songs these days. Gummie Bears was great, TNMT, all the 80’s cartoons had the best songs!
I kinda like the new Spectacular Spiderman one.
Where’s Duck Dodgers when you need him?
Dodgers is about 3 1/2 centuries in the future Bro.
Ahh but NM you forgot about time travel. But he’ll have to leave his sidekick in the future (or did he come to the past already with his sidekick). Wait I know who caused the Swine Flu. It was that damned Duck Dodgers. Methinks he brought the Avion Flu too. Mystery solved.
talespin… voltron…. chip and dales rescue rangers…. darkwing duck…
ah to be a kid in the 80’s.
darkwing duck! fuckin’ eh!
but that was ’90s. Same for Talespin.
Can’t be NM. I was too old to be watching cartoons in the 90’s.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darkwing_Duck
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talespin
sorry Miles. I guess you didn’t mature as fast as you thought you did… and I still watch cartoons every weekend. I don’t see anything wrong with that…
PS: this is the best thread ever!
damn… I needed some due diligence there.
Thanks for the info NM…and the reassurance.
FTR, I was just kidding, not arguing.
I still watch cartoons on saturday mornings too, but they’ve all gone to shit lately. I used to be able to get up at 10am, watch TMNT, then Sonic,then Chaotic (which is cool as hell), and TMNT: Fast Forward, switch channels and watch Transformers: Animated, Spectacular Spiderman, The Batman and Storm Hawks. I had four solid hours to enjoy breakfast and cartoons. Now I can’t find anything even halfway decent to watch.
I was just kidding too Miles. I just couldn’t believe they both ’90s either and thought I’d share with the class 🙂
NW: the Wolverine and the X-Men one is pretty good too.
NM: Wolverine and the X-Men is great! But new episodes are too far between. I’ve been watching them on my lunch break on AllUC for a while now. My boss thinks I’m strange for some reason.
They already wrapped up the first season, so we’re back into repeats now…
The Gummi Bears theme song is epic.
It always gave (gives?) me a rush.