OK, so I stole a latte. It was sitting there for like ten minutes and no one had claimed it. But you forgot to give my friend her four dollar mini molten chocolate cake! I’d say it was a fair trade, so lay off with the judging eyes. —CoffeeKlepto
This article appears in Jun 14-20, 2012.


Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.
It’s not trading, it’s stealing. Rationalize all you want, you font of moral decrepitude.
Hold out your left hand, please. Now, would someone kindly pass me my sword?
You’re certainly not a self-righteous bitch at all, are you?
Wouldn’t said latte be cold as fuck by that point? Why would you want a cold latte.
And what’s wrong with your friend? Why can’t she ask for her damn cake?
*shakes head*
Well, you are a prime candidate as a PR flack for a company or political candidate, who may not have a need for staff with a moral compass.
Using your friend’s AWOL cake was just a tactic for you to justify your action to yourself. After all your friend has a mouth to eat with, so they could have used it to say something about not getting their cake, but it had nothing to do with you. If you want to be a thief – fine (not really) but at least have enough ‘pride’ in yourself not to use a lame cowardly excuse, like a wuss.
holy hell people, she drank a luke-warm latte that no-one wanted…
hang her up by her toenails!
look at that kid, STEALING shells from the beach,
arrest him!
arrest that hobo, he’s STEALING those dirty cigarette buts from the gutter.
get a grip people.
it’d been dumped out anyways and it’s not like they’re staking the place out to intentionally and consistently rip the shitty cafe off.
If you don’t like getting the stink eye for being a coffee thief, JUST DON’T STEAL. There, problem solved.
you shuld have asked if they wanted it back, if they said yes. then just spit in it and say there you are, and walk the fuck away.
Call the Hipster Police!
Book em Dano, before other people get into him.
Wp
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA. Wheelie Screee – F.T.W.
http://th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012…
?
or perhaps..?
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo…
Or you could have enquired (inquired?) or just fucking asked about the mini-molten chocolate cake and left the latte. Just saying. Just pointing out that there was another course of action. One that didn’t involve theft.
Hmmmm….graduated from diapers to coffee?
Thief!
This is a really stupid bitch.