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This is for the assholes that sit in the aisle seat on the bus so they wont have to have anyone sit with them. We all see you stop pretending you dont realize exactly what youre doing. Assholes. —Sickofmorons
This article appears in Nov 18-24, 2010.
48 Comments
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If you need a seat, ask them to move over. If they don’t, give them a hip check that would make Dave Schultz proud.
Or attempt to climb over them.
I do agree with OP though…. those asswipes believe in their mind that they are entitled to seat by themselves. There is one guy on my bus in the morning who puts his little lunchbag on the seat beside him and won’t move it… even if you stand there looking at him. He looks like a douche anyway…… I once asked him if it was NOW ok for me to sit there once he got up to disembark at his stop. He ignored me.
There is a lady on my bus that always sits in an aisle seat and makes no effort to let people into the seat next to her. I enjoy it when people crawl over her to get the empty seat as she looks rather put out.
I can’t fault someone for wanting to sit alone, but a Metro Transit cattle car is not the best place to indulge your agoraphobia. Reality must occasionaly intrude with a face full of ass.
Oooh jonno. Just tell him to move his lunch bag or he’ll be eating a squished sandwich with your ass cheek print on it. 🙂
My mom, a fellow passenger on yo’ bus, would approve of this msg. Ask her to do it! She’d love it! (although right now she’s home with a bummed ankle :()
I would really enjoy witnessing that exchange.
I’d like to see confrontational Jonno as well!
But I can’t say anything OP…I can barely stand in line at Tim’s because people stand in my personal space….I get really overwhelmed and have anxiety attacks. It’s not as much a germ thing as it is a “can’t breathe” thing. And I can’t handle smells…..strong BO…or strong perfume or cologne…I love a nice fresh smell or a smell of baked goods. I would let someone sit on the inside of the seat though…but I couldn’t sit against the window and feel trapped. But I wouldn’t want a face full of ass so either way I’d let them in.
yea , it’s bad enough that they do this but what really gets me is the deep sigh and eye-rolling thing when you indicate you’d like to sit… I once said to a guy :” would you like a nice slap?” 🙂
Some of us are not trying to be assholes and morons. Some of us are actually a little claustrophobic and don’t like sitting on the inside because of the feeling of being trapped. Some of us will move or stand so you can access the inner seat if you want it. Some of us are not averse to sharing seats, we just do not want the inside one. Since we are all free to choose for ourselves, some of us are not going to move just because of your assumptions OP. A little less tunnel-vision to expand one’s perspective is not a bad thing.
A hip check, in theory may seem like a good idea Ivan-The-Ad-Hoc-Hockey-Coach, but can be devastating to the osteoporotic and might even result in an assault charge. Over a seat on a bus? Give your head a shake man!
Whatever happened to just saying excuse me so the person has an inkling that your intention is to access the inner seat? Have we really forgotten how to communicate courteously with one another in social situations?
Sorry Ocean-Chick. The hip check, like a pre-emptive nuclear strike, is a weapon of last resort when ALL attempts at a diplomatic solution have failed and even then, probably not one I would excercise. But those of us who still remember how to behave courteously in public have moved past being bemused by those who have never been taught. They are well on their way to becoming the majority.
I get what you’re saying OC, but…no one really cares about the clausterphobia of others, nor is it their responsibility to do so, especially on public transit. If you were in their homes, maybe, but it’s mass transit, not personal transit and people who sit on the outside just look like douchebags.
Boy, am I glad Little Arse Corner’s only bus is a lobster truck with beer kegs for seats.
Just today I was trapped in the inside seat by a farter. Effing bus.
Maybe we prefer sitting on the outside. It’s not like we’re putting our bags on the other seat (and if we are, then that’s a different issue — don’t conflate the two). I’m also quite thin, so it shouldn’t be a problem. If you’re too fat to squeeze past me, buy a treadmill. If you’re too much of a pussy to ask to sit down (actually, you don’t even need to ask — you literally just have to stand next to the seat and I’ll swivel my knees to the side for you), then find a psychiatrist.
Spend any amount of time on public transit and see that while Darwin may have gotten the basic facts of evolution right, he got the sequence bass-ackwards. We are marching inexorably towards becoming nothing more than a troupe of tree-swinging, crap-throwers
no, I will not crawl over you. If you don’t want the inside seat get up and let me in. My osteopath, physiotherapist, massage therapist, doctor, surgeon, et al would be mortified at me crawling over someone to get into or out of a seat. It ain’t cause I’m fat (cause I’m not) I just have a really shitty back.
and if you’re that claustrophobic – sit on the side facing outwards in the back. Rarely does anyone get in your face there. Don’t make the rest of us pay for your phobias.
swivel your knees, rs? You do that too when people get off the bus. GET THE FUCK UP OFF THE SEAT AND LET PEOPLE PASS YOU IGNORENT FUCK.
At the very least you’re gonna get my bag smacking you in the head when I “squeeze past [you].”
and I think it’s you who needs a psychiatrist – they get paid to help those of us with issues.
right on Pretty Kitty!
I’m really glad I don’t ever ride the bus…sorry for the extra damage to our planet but the bus sounds like a really mean place!
“swivel your knees, rs? You do that too when people get off the bus. GET THE FUCK UP OFF THE SEAT AND LET PEOPLE PASS YOU IGNORENT FUCK.”
Oh wow, I didn’t realize we had met on a bus and that you can tell who I am based on two letters which don’t even represent my initials (or anything). I kind of do get up when I’m sitting on the outside and people are trying to exit. Exiting from the inside seat is harder so it’s easy to make an allowance for that. Are you ever a dumb “ignorent” [sic] bitch.
“and I think it’s you who needs a psychiatrist – they get paid to help those of us with issues.”
I’m not the one who interprets “sitting on the outside seat on a bus” as “malicious behaviour designed to exclude me from sitting down.” That is quite frankly the groundwork of an Asperger’s diagnosis.
I’m also able to tell the difference between people putting their bag on the seat next to them and people merely sitting on the outside seat. This distinction, which is both conceptual and practical, seems to have eluded some respondents.
“Don’t make the rest of us pay for your phobias.”
At the very least, I think that in a decent society we need to spread the burdens of accommodation around. If, for the sake of argument, I am really “claustrophobic,” then I think I am entitled to sit in a suitable place on a bus without being made subject to such maliciousness. I would not say that due to your back issues you should have to sit somewhere else. I think that with a little politeness and communication we can easily coordinate our actions. Unfortunately, most people like being vitriolic and mean-spirited.
trapped on the seat by the wall?
in the event of an incident, all the windows push out… if anything the people on the inner seats are worse off….
Just move past them and let a huge corned-beef-hash fart out when doing so. But not if Heathro is sitting down first; she’s one we like here at LTWWB.
Oh, and y’all could avoid this by just buying a car or SUV, y’all 😀 lol
I’ll buy a car when I’m an RN. In the meantime, I’m stuck on the stinky bus with stubborn agoraphobics bearing large vocabularies.
P.S. I’d have preferred corned beef and hash farts over the wretched stench this woman was secreting.
I was only being sebastian about the car part. You know how he thinks the world’s problems are solved with his advice.
Still engaged Heathro?
Oooooooh Heathro I work with RNs! Maybe we’ll work together someday ^_^ (where I will probably try to bum a ride in your big fancy car :P)
Oh yeah, don’t use that lame clustrophobic shit as an excuse or reason. The fact that you can climb onto a bus while having clustrophobia already shuts down any argument about sharing a seat. You can certainly sit with someone if you can get on a cramped bus. And if sitting is so detrimental, stand up instead.
cabbage > corned beef and hash every day
yuck. vile
zZz nothing like the day after chilli & wing nite along with an evening of happy hour draught prices.
Now that will melt you nose hairs !
i wish i could bottle the hound’s farts, that stuff will peel paint…roo
Not engaged, Fat. Waiting patiently. Tick tock..
PK I’m peacing out of Hali when I’m done my courses in 12 weeks. Alas, we likely won’t work together.. 🙁
Thank you NiceGoin….I know you still love me deep down.
Is it truly that difficult to ask the person to move? Or could it be the fear of the aisle-seat hog pulling out a knife to re-enact the Manitoba Greyhound incident? Truly possible given the types of passengers on some of those buses.
People do not want to see confrontational Jonno. He rarely comes out to play but when he does he scares even Jonno. He’s one crazy motherfucker. Sorry to hear about your Mom’s bummed ankle PK… unfortunately I didn’t notice as I now take the bus an hour earlier. Sucks cause I liked the congregation on the other bus. At least now I get to travel home with some of them…. and the cuter ones no less!
NGF- I agree completely with your solution to the problem. Unfortunately my poor ass is being scraped to the bone coming up with $$ for metro transit each month… haha.
And sebastard- really classy making reference to the horrors of that gruesome Greyhound incident. Funny that in some twisted way it ALSO involves getting off someone’s head…. DAMN! too late- confrontational Jonno is itchin to make an appearance. HELP!!!!
Sounds like confrontational Jonno, may be eerily similar to pissed off Hugo.
Morning all. – Jeeze, I take a break for a day, and there’s 30 or 40 pages of bitchin. Anything of importance happen?
Meeting wilth the bankers today, wish me luck 🙂
Luck, Hugo!
What you doing with bankers? Good luck.
God Speed John Glenn, I mean Hugo >; )
that avatar is something else hugo^^you will do just fine, my corbies told me so
There is a nice name for these people – douchebags (as they usually fill the other seat with their bag – a douche and his/her bag) – I always make sure to take pictures of these people and post them on facebook! lol
I’m surprised that this should be so common. It’s been years since I was a regular bus rider and that was in a different city, but I can’t remember ever seeing people standing in the aisle while other seated passengers protected their ‘personal space’. It would have been considered rude and would have marked the ‘space saver’ as something of a misfit.
Thanks folks – pre-approved mortgage application. Hugo is moving, (again) by March.
5-year plan Mk-2.
Parade of Lights – I’m going, who else? I generally watch on Barrington St.
Red Ivan, I don’t quite get the JG reference, unless you’re saying I’m a Space Cadet 😉
Parade of Lights!! Oh, oh, oh, pick me, pick me!! I’m going for sure. I figure I’ll hang out on Spring Garden somewhere – but may pop in to say hey to the Colonel of books. Good luck with the move – hopefully to someplace lover-ly.
I always liked the line Hugo and use it when wishing people luck (like SOBova before her gall bladder surgery) But Space Cadets rawk as well. Pop in if you’re on B-St. I’ll be perched on the big red ladder in front of the window with my 6.5mm Carcano Rifle. Going for the retro sniper look this year. (But aside from all that Mrs. Kennedy – How was Dallas?)
I’ll probably be watching it on SGR because it’s fairly close to where I live.
Holy crap, jonno — an HOUR earlier? That SUCKS. Probably the same bus I’ll end up taking when I start taking the bus for my 7-3pm hours. blech. Gotta get my ass up at 4am for the 6am departures. GROSS.
Next time some fuckmonkey tries that shit when I’m getting on the bus, I’m going to sit down in his fucking lap.