Here is my horrible experience at the farm: My boyfriend and I received bad reception upon arrival at the farm and we waited awkwardly to be greeted despite their being three workers in the office. The hiking and 22km of trails that my boyfriend and I were excited to explore were slick with ice and very dangerous therefore hindering any hiking that were planning on. As for their “sauna” they boast about on their website? We were told that the “sauna” would take an hour and half to warm up and even then they discouraged us from using it because they usually only like groups of people to use it instead of couples.

We stayed in a cabin which was dirty, creepy and had bad energy. We were booked for two nights but upon arrival we immediately felt uncomfortable. There was no lock on the door and there were spiders in the corners of the ceiling as well as dead moths in the bedrooms. We had to continuously plunge the toilet. My boyfriend and I have taken multiple biking trips in British Columbia and have camped in National parks with no amenities so we’re used to “roughin’” it but never before had we had to pay $100 a night to stay in a place like that.

The main reason for our discontent occurred on the first night at around midnight when we began to feel very uncomfortable because of the noises that were taking place. My boyfriend and I are both rational people but the noises just kept getting louder and more forceful. We were beside a frozen lake that was making sounds but these noises we heard sounded different. I also had the feeling like I was being watched and could hear rocks shifting around the cabin as if someone was walking around. Also, apparently the farm doesn’t lock their doors and we were not provided with a key. Instead of staying in the cabin my boyfriend and I decided to sleep in our car in below-freezing temperature. We ended up driving to the nearest town and stayed in a parking lot for the night while we periodically turned the engine on to stay warm. Whatever the case was for the noises in the cabin, we felt uncomfortable and unable to sleep.

In the morning we waited for the office to open and a man who worked there told us that they wouldn’t charge us for the two nights that we were supposed to stay there. Today we found out that they had charged us $200 on our credit card, they told us that we would have to pay because it was ‘against their policy to give refunds’. I am appalled and shocked. We will be posting this on every available avenue as well as reporting to the ‘Better Business Bureau’. We’ve also called our credit card company to dispute the transaction. Charging us for one night is one thing but for two nights? That is ridiculous. —Not-So-Relaxed Guest

This article appears in Mar 1-7, 2012.

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47 Comments

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  3. I love how you expected them to shovel the 22 km hiking trail for you so you didn’t slip on the ice.

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  4. lololololololololololololololololololololololololololoololololololololol

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  5. You’re relying on a bunch of hippies to provide a clean, cobweb/spider/moth free, locked room? That isn’t creepy? lol. Good luck with that one!

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  7. ice? who wouldv’e expected ice in winter, shit, next thing someone will say that it is going to snow. damn you winter, i want summer, so we can go ice fishing again.
    and by the way, are you people fucking nuts or what, satanism, is the only true religion.

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  8. “Now I lay me down to rot.
    I pray to Lord Suckulous, my soul to blot.
    If I should die before I wake.
    Make the earth a burning lake”

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  9. I’ve never understood how Buddhists, especially the local ones, can be such shameless capitalists!

    I’ve kayaked by the rather large property of His Holy Shamabhalaness in St. Margaret’s Bay. Not exactly modest digs. Maybe you could have a sleep over there?

    Send them a link to your bitch, OP.

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  10. Wow. A Buddhist retreat with bad energy. Kind of oxymoronish, eh? Try an Ashram next time.

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  12. “We stayed in a cabin which was dirty, creepy and had bad energy”

    Dirty I could see complaing about. Maaaaaybe even creepy. But, bad energy? Are you referring to the Feng Shui or shoddy electrics not up to code? If it’s the latter, absolutely complain. If however it’s the former, totally invalid complaint. I don’t know of too many lodging establishments that accept complaints based on the fact that their chokras weren’t aligned or some shit.
    Same with the complaint about the trails. The trails are 22km long. They are outside. It’s winter. Do the math.
    I think your first mistake was staying at some Buddhist retreat FARM for $100 a night. Srsly? Unless it’s some charming, turn-of-the-century B&B where you get a full on breakfast and turn-down service, you paid too much.
    Now, in your defence, at $100 a night, at the very least I would expect a functioning toilet and if it wasn’t fixed to my satisfaction, I’d be requesting a move to another cabin. Also, if the use of the sauna was included in the price per night, you want to believe that I’d be making the most of my hard earned cash. I’d be using the thing regardless of how long they said it took to warm up and if they gave me any hassle, I’d firmly but politely point out that sauna usage was supposed to be included in the room price, I don’t care how much of an inconvenience it is to them.
    As for the noises you heard, I can’t really comment as I wasn’t there and your description is extremely vague: “…the noises just kept getting louder and more forceful.” ; “…could hear rocks shifting around the cabin…”
    There were people shagging under your cabin window?? That’s the only conclusion I can come up with.
    Other than perhaps being a little gullible to pay that much to stay at a farm, I’d say your only other fault was maybe watching one too many teenage slasher movie.
    Best of luck getting the charges reversed.

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  13. you aren’t very up on your noble truths if you’re complaining about this shit….

    you’re supposed to hate it there…
    because you’re not accustomed to the surroundings…
    but you can obtain happiness regardless.

    That’s 3 of them right there in front of your face and you couldn’t even tell?
    not very buddhist of you.

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  14. WHY ….honestly, WHY would you think we even remotely gave a fuck about your trip/ordeal/retreat ….. huh, not like we plan to go there in the middle of WINTER ….

    Fuck, perhaps dealing with the MONKS would be of better use of your time rather than a b!tch board.

    I have stayed in Monasteries throughout Europe (great locations / fab food / peaceful / etc) ……… these are functional accommodations and you were looking for a 5***** resort? Ya, you are an idiot and you date an imbecile if you thought otherwise.

    Hahahahaha, FENG you b!tch.

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  15. Next time opt for a Nudist Retreat. Not so easy to complain about bad energy when your hoo-hah’s taking the breeze.

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  17. Can this be for real? Seems like something out of that “Shit new age girls say” video that’s been making the rounds.

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  18. Well said zZz. Real Buddhists are happy pooping in the woods, that’s probably what OB heard during the night.

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  19. fecal bombs do have an unmistakable sound…
    especially if they are mexican buddhists

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  23. Exactly how did you think the trails were going to be like in the middle of winter. You should have known at a Buddist retreat that they weren’t going to kill any living thing. And lastly, the noises you were hearing were samsquanches. Everyone in NS knows all about them.

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  25. OB, while I’ve never subjected myself to a buddha retreat/spa. I have had the occassional contact with them. I find them to be quite odd & even though they go on about it not being a religion, Yet they have so many of the same …..idiosyncrasies .

    While I wouldn’t go as far as to say I felt violated the first time I ever had to deal with a group of them. When they came uninvited into my work/storage area & started blessing & cleansing my equipment & space, with one chanting another banging on metal clangy things while another was swirling an incense globe that smelled like perfume of cloyingly sick flowers.
    The look on their faces when I threw them out , somewhat physically , reminded me of a child I’d seen whose puppy was lost !

    But OB you should be happy,you lived, they didn’t convert you , you’ve got a possible creepy ghost story about growling rocks & moaning sounds by a frozen lake in a cabin that looked like it was abandoned.While constantly plunging the toilet to keep the noxious liquids & vapours at bay…

    yep damn near an adventure & for only 200 dollars ~;p

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  26. Y’know, if they’d thought to record it all on their I-phones, it might have made a pretty good indie horror flick.

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  27. “Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don’t like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn’t put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy’s gotta think ‘You got a pet. You got a responsibility.’ If your dog gets lost you don’t look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog. “

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  29. One time when I was walking home, I walked by a Buddhist “meditation centre” where some people were gathered outside and approximately 95% of them were all wearing the exact same ugly-ass sweater. It was creepy as fuck.

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  30. For a while in the mid-90s it seemed like SOBova & I couldn’t go to a restaurant in this city without being stuck next to a table of braying ex-pats, each loudly trying to “out-serene” the other and making boasts like “Well, you know, WE followed The Master here during the second Reagan administration”. And even though they were wearing socks with their sandals, I don’t think they were talking about Dr. Who. It got to the point that I would specifically order veal and demand that they slaughter it at the table.

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  32. Wow Ivan … a critique on fashion and a Dr.Who reference … we’re on the same wavelength today 😉

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  34. First, read and heed what others have said. Let me add: Buddhists look out for one thing – money.

    Second, call Visa. Visa will reverse the charge if you register a complaint; irrespective of the Buddhist’s policy.

    Finally, stay away from religious groups. Their credos have ALWAYS differed from reality and the group members actions.

    Look at the Mormons. Did you know that a black man could NOT be a member of their priesthood until 1973?

    It was around the time the black rights movement got into full swing. The “president” of the Mormons got a visit from their god who told him it was now okay to have them join the priesthood…

    For the record, black people were permitted to join the Mormons (and pay their tithes) but not be a member of its priesthood.

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  35. That’s what you get for stayin at a farm. Who’s idea was that, your pinhead husband?
    Next time go to the Four Seasons and call it a day. I woud think its illegal to operate a bed and breakfast without working door locks? Find an argument and dispute it. You can’t get a refund for bad chi or funny noises, (or for spite, like Jerry Seinfeld) but you may be able to sue them in small claims for unsafe conditions.

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  36. Of course there were spider webs, get with the programme…ffs.

    “Imagine a multidimensional spider’s web in the early morning covered with dew drops. And every dew drop contains the reflection of all the other dew drops. And, in each reflected dew drop, the reflections of all the other dew drops in that reflection. And so ad infinitum. That is the Buddhist conception of the universe in an image.” – Alan Watts

    http://posterous.com/getfile/files.postero…

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  37. EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE! lol thats for you Ivan 🙂

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  38. Maybe if the OB(s) acted more like “dahlicks” they would’ve found real enlightenment.

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  42. ZEN AND THE ART OF HOTEL MANAGEMENT

    Before I studied Zen,
    Mountains were mountains
    And rivers were rivers.

    While I was studying Zen,
    Mountains became other than mountains
    And rivers became other than rivers.

    When I had finished studying Zen,
    Mountains were once again mountains
    And rivers were once again rivers.

    Herman Hesse: “Siddartha”

    The Swiss, Herman Hesse, introduced Zen (Hinayana Buddhism) into Europe in the twenties and so indirectly and later to North America where it fourished, particularly in California where it attained cult status and people wore flowers in their hair. Building on a foundation of the early Beats like Jack Kerouac’s “On the Road,” it generated classic Zen spin-offs like Alan Watts’ “The Way of Zen,” Alan Ginsberg’s poetic anthem “Howl” (“I drank the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica”) and Robert Pirsig’s “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance,” of which the title of this comment, of course, is a hilarious take-off – or at least I think so.

    Anyway, what is Hesse saying? Zen aims at the destruction of conscious thought, where “thought” is to be understood as not just simple awareness of the objects of perception but of concept formation itself. One lives concept-free in the moment. So Siddartha, after having been distracted by interpretations of the world WHILE studying Zen (the world of “Maya”) returns AFTER having studied Zen to the state of blissful, simple childish awareness of the objects of perception – a flower, a raindrop. He has attained “Samadhi” and so has peace.

    But to run a hotel for profit is itself to engage in the world of Maya, the world of illusion. A Zen hotel, in other words, is a contradiction in terms. If the poster knew this she would have realized that it was a scam from the outset, one designed to sucker naive tourists like her. She should have seen that one coming.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

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  43. The cornerstone of buddhist philosophy is to acknowledge, and then release attachment to, suffering.

    Having said that, any buddhist retreat that charges that kind of money is reminiscent of scientology.

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  45. “The cornerstone of buddhist philosophy is to acknowledge, and then release attachment to, suffering.” Are you sure you don’t have Buddhists confused with Jedi, Ella? 😛

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