Dear parents who insist on bringing your children on lengthy plane rides without bringing along something to keep them entertained: what are you thinking?
Sure it’s cute the first few minutes when your kids entertain the whole plane with their made up songs and a few accidental kicks to the back of my seat are bearable – but enough already. Bring something for them to do cause it ain’t cute. —Tired of your kids
This article appears in Aug 5-11, 2010.
What airline did you fly? WJ and AC both have in flight entertainment systems though WJ’s is kind of boring at times. Parents can just shove a pair of earphones in the kid’s ear and put a movie on. AC has a GREAT inflight entertainment system. Tons of selection of music and they have free movies that aren’t out on DVD yet. Too bad they’re so unreliable when it comes to actually getting your luggage back after a flight.
kiddie gravol also works. knocks those little rug rats right out.
Nothing more boring than flying when you don’t have anything to do but sit there.
Actually I lie. What’s more boring is when your flight lands early and you have to wait 45 minutes for your gate to clear. That sucks balls. Or when you’re circling the airport waiting for a runway to land on…or waiting in a queue behind 5 planes waiting for a runway to take off. Pearson, I’m looking at YOU.
Kids under 10 shouldn’t be allowed on planes. Every miserable flight I’ve been on has been miserable due to some fucking annoying kid screaming, whining, or crying. The worst when the parents refuse to do anything to shut their spawn up.
Parents, when you fly, have your children bring the pilots a nice present like ,say, a box cutter made of chocolate. And since the pilots and stews are so busy, little Zachary and Caitlin will have to run up to the cockpit real fast in order to give it to them.
PK: Fly Porter… into TO downtown and they own the whole airport! 🙂
Give them a bottle or two of the minis.
just keep breastfeeding them…any age. flying coffins (brought to you by captain haddock) are one of my best sources of material. i bewieve rosie that porter only flies to the island. rawk? see, i stayed on subject…sorta
Never been on a plane in my life but this doesn’t sound any different from kids on the bus. Lean forward and listen to your ipod.
I have been on a 9-hour international flight with a mother with a baby in the row in front of me and let me tell you, it was not pleasant. I also had another flight with a kid behind me that kept on singing the whole way, but he couldn’t remember all his words.
You’re all nuts. It’s not the Airline’s fault that parents refuse to stow their children in the overhead compartment, with infants placed under the seat in front of them, caged. I put mine up there all the time and they keep quiet. It’s shocking how other parents let their kids out while in-flight. Rude.
In the unlikely event of an in-flight emergency, resulting in someone else’s unconfined child disrupting an adult (me), I open the panel above my seat to retrieve the oxygen mask, which I then use to administer a general anaesthetic. This calms the child, creating tranquility in the atmosphere of the cabin, and allows for the prompt delivery of more on-board liquor. Win win.
this anaesthetic you speak where is it located; cause of the say 20 times I’ve flown only like twice were chilluns directly involved and twice something was needed 🙂
Are you kidding me….children under the age of 10 shouldn’t fly!?! WTF! I have flown many times with my son who is 7 without incident. I do take things to entertain him but have witnessed children having a hard time. What are their parents supposed to do? There is not the same option of leaving, like you would if you are at a store.
Just because you choose not to have children doesn’t give you the right to be so abnoxious. If we pay full fare for our children to have a seat then they are a customer just like you. I have seen many adults who need to be stuffed in the overhead compartments too. That is the joy of being in a small, confined space for hours on end…it sucks but is necessary in order to get from A to B.
It can’t be fun for a kid to fly, especially on longer flights — having to sit there for hours on end and be quiet? Probably not going to happen.
However, some parents are too lenient when it comes to their kids on planes. Some of the shit I’ve seen I’d NEVER get away with as a kid. I think parents are just too desensitized to their kid’s shit and probably learn how to tune them out.
In any event, I can hardly stand the boredom that comes with long flights and I’m an adult. Plus my stomach is a mess when I fly because of the altitude, so on longer flights I find popping a gravol just before I board knocks me out and helps my stomach 🙂
And trust me, I’ve sat beside adults that were a lot more annoying than any kid I’ve encountered. Unfortunately there’s no “asshole” filter when people book flights.
Also: blackrose — I love porter and I wish they had more of a presence because flying AC and WJ across the country or even to smaller airports like la ville de quebec require stop overs at pearson. I loathe pearson. Last time I was there, I went into the bathroom and someone had shit all over the floor…and curiously, the walls too. *shudder*
Alsox2: trudeau REALLY needs to renumber their gates. The way they have it set up is pretty wack.
If your paying-customer kid can’t sit still on a flight without becoming fucking hellion who makes life miserable for everyone else around him/her, then he/she should not be allowed on flight. Drive or take the train or don’t travel.
I can tell an adult to shut the fuck up when we’re on a flight together but if you even suggest that a kid is out of control and ask their parents to get them under control you become public enemy number one.
Also, how the fuck do you know if I have children or not? Fucking arrogant and stupid comment.
Greatest accessory ever invented for air travel: noise cancellation earphones
Airlines should have 2-3 of the rear rows of the plane reserved for children traveling with parents…..then a huge sound proof wall between them and the rest of the plane. Or maybe a place in the cargo hold for the children? Or maybe a tranquilizer pill in the bag of peanuts for children….oh wait, children are allergic to peanuts now….bag of graham crackers.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/fast…
Gulf Air employs “Sky Nannys”. Talk of “Family Only” zones. Oh, I can only dream.
i love that last bit in the article