Braindead

To the jerk that I just deleted off my BBM: You have the IQ of a 5 year old! You tracked me down to find my pin because you apparently wanted to get to know me better. When I ask you questions about yourself (a common thing when you are trying to get to know someone) you’re attention span is that of a hamster. Like I told you… friends first and then see how it goes. You requesting “special pictures” of me was offensive and childish. Especially when we don’t know eachother. Sorry jerk off, you grabbing my ass cheeks on first meeting? Seriously? You are lucky I didn’t put your fat, jogging pant, sock and sandal wearing ass in a headlock. Please don’t ever say “hi” to me even in passing. I think you are a disgusting pig who is immature and has zero personality. You were talkin shit and saying, “Oh I want you!” but got offended when I called you by your real name and not your nickname. Bitch, please. Words of advice: when first meeting a woman who you are trying to impress, wear clean clothes ATLEAST, brush your fucking teeth, don’t put your hands on a woman’s ass when you first meet her. Fuck that. Go back to school and watch the Discovery channel or A@E… broaden your knowledge and vocabulary. I like to be able to hold a conversation with a man who isn’t looking like a stunned animal. Not to mention, who doesn’t like movies? You dumb fuck, you are on block. Give up the shit you’re doing, cuz it is not working. Oh and your exit strategy of saying,”I’ll be right back,” was perfect. It saved my ass from headbutting you and kicking your ass out. —Too Classy 4 You

This article appears in Sep 15-21, 2011.