Dear best friend, we’re both single and we have each other’s backs… I want to always be there for you, but for the love of god please stop obsessing over your men or lack-thereof. Surely there are other important things in life to discuss—music, politics, art, hobbies, books—ANYTHING! I cannot sit for hours on these long, drawn out phone diatribes listening to the details of the latest hookup. Why hasn’t he called, where it went wrong…yadda yadda. It’s boring and I’m past that stage in my life. And you never take my advice. You always sleep with them too soon, repeat the same mistakes and they end up disrespecting or dumping you. Then I end up cleaning up the aftermath (listening to you bitch about it for hours, days even) giving my obligatory “he’s an assole, forget him” until it happens again and the pattern repeats itself. Frankly, I’m getting really tired of it. I’m not interested in dating right now myself and I sure as hell am not interested in other people’s dating lives. No offence, I love you so I wouldn’t mind having to hear a short tale now and then, but it seems that’s ALL you ever have to say. If you’re wondering why you keep getting my voice mail lately, it’s because you’re too consumed with men and nothing else. I don’t have time to listen to these dreamy fantasies followed by heartache and rejection—these stories never change, only the names. You need to stop being so boy-crazy and focus more on getting a zest for life—your own, not some dude’s. —Get a Hobby
This article appears in Sep 6-12, 2012.
I couldn’t agree more, OB. She is lucky to have a friend like you who can remind her that there is more to life than “boys”.
like bacon!
… and laser-tag!
there are only two really pertinant things in life, sex, or no sex. those other trivial things, like food, clothing, shelter and so on are just nessesities.
now some might say i’m wrong here, but am i really?think on it for awhile. those who are getting it don’t really want it, and those that don’t, really want it. then you have the in betweens. they really don’t want it, but take what they get. mm, care to explain this further, in your astute way.
i have seen many people over the course of aquite a few years, coming unto those that choose not to have any type of relationship. then the others,who have relationships and screw around on their partners. and lastly, the ones that do the screwing around. these are the ones to watch and sometimes pity. but then again, i am me, and you are you. if we get what we want, when we want it, who is hurt?
but i regress, there are some, that should never have another person of the opposite sex in their lives, they treat them like shit. but being an animal of sorts, where is the blame to be placed? you have to figure your own pace in this fucked up scheme of things, called life. i take what i can get, and treat it good.
Your friend might be better served if you actually explained why you were avoiding her, instead of just, you know, avoiding her. It seems like this boy issue – too much, too fast – is a pretty obvious pattern to everyone but her. Also, just going out on a limb here, but if all she ever talks to you about are the guys she is sleeping with or obsessing over, she might have a bit of a void in her life in terms of hobbies, interests or even additional female friends that she can vent to. Thus, she probably doesn’t value herself all that much, hence the reason she sleeps with any guy who shows an interest and then wonders why she’s not finding “mister right”. It’s probably a hard conversation to initiate, but if you actually value her as a friend or person, you might be able to open her eyes with a little honest observation, and then, who knows, maybe she will get off the man-wagon and expand her horizons, thus making her a better friend. Win/win!
totally under-rated show
http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/5768/…
I believe you’re wise to pull away from the drama but since you clearly love her, I hope you tell her too. Maybe send her an e-mail and see how she responds. If she refuses to open her eyes and chooses to keep making grief for herself she needs to know she can’t suck you into her pity party bullshit and you’ll be moving on with healthier and more positive experiences. Friends like these can be very draining.
Ob…sounds to me like she has a hobby… unfortunately its what they called when I was young … ‘ the neighborhood bicycle’ now generally known as , cum dumpster !
Maybe what she needs is your help to get involved in a different hobby !
She is obviously desperate to land a man, ANY MAN! A lot of women today are so sad, so friggen desperate for a man they will sleep with anyone anytime. Then again, perhaps she has a Sex Addiction. That is what it sounds like to me. A female with nothing else on her mind except sex is sadly deficient. I think she needs psychological counselling. I pity the OP though having to listen to this mindless childish drivel ALL About Men. Who the frig cares? It all boils down to the men using her as a garbage can and she is way too stupid to realize it. Sad the way some women are today.!
While growing up my sister screwed any guy,so needless to say she was popular.I was shy(still am) so I didn’t have a lot of boyfriends( I had sex with even less)….Shit,I’m still shocked when a person remembers me, after meeting them just once.
Nothing’s wrong with shy. The most quiet people are often the loudest/wittiest when the shy fades away.
Some people think I’m a bitch or snooty because it takes me a little longer than most folks to relax when I first meet a person.
Story of my life Boru! I tend to get the “Are you ok? Are you sad?” … … No, no I’m not, just quiet and not really thinking about anything … just taking it allll in.
This ‘cult of personality’ world tries very hard to make everyone loud and excitable … but we can’t all meet that “ideal” *le shrug*
Sounds like your friend is a target for skin hounds…The kind that smells low self-esteem and desperation from a mile away. Your friend needs to learn her self-worth and respect her body as her temple; Until then, the only man she will ever attract is Mr. Toot-it-&-Boot-it.
I believe that true friends should be able to be honest with each other, no how much the truth may hurt. Talk to her. Tell her exactly how you feel. You may just give her a little push into some much needed self-reflection.
Just buy her a rubber fist. That oughta keep her busy for a while.
Ohhhh Stephen…Lmao!
She sounds very immature. Hopefully she can survive the next couple of years without becoming pregnant or hooked up with Mr. Wrong or both.
Donk Once I get to know you, I’m pretty easy going….But if you cross me I’ll fucking slice ya.Lmfao
Steve I’ve seen those vibrator’s in sex shop’s.I don’t think it’s possible for a woman to insert all of one of those vibrater’s the size of a mans’ forearm and fist,without tearing her “taint”(t’ain’t the pussy,t’ain’t the areshole).
boru, i got a vid of a guy sticking his bald head in a female’s snatch, is disgusting, but it stretches. like my new avatar, molly.
I drove many a verbal stake through the emotional vampires in my life. No regrets because people like your friend only drain your patience and waste your time.
Here’s a video for all you ‘Shy’ people.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4
Donk, I like that ‘cult of personality’. Is that an actual term or did you come up with that? It’s true about shy or quiet people, that their calm demeanor usually masks a vibrant personality.
Captain Thanks I enjoyed that. 🙂
BLOW MEI heard about that but I wouldn’t believe it.Talken about a how dog down a hallway.SHIT THAT’S GROSS.
We really don’t need to know your porn habits, Grampie Gary.
Captain Planet– I’m reading Susan Cain’s ‘Quiet’ book right now! She mentions the Cult of Personality and how we try to separate and peg people into certain personalities from a young age. We assess their personalities by giving them tests etc and tend to favour one type over the other. Of course social media doesn’t help this … Quiet/reserve isn’t embraced anymore it’s seen somewhat as a disability. Of course she gets into much more in the book and it’s a super interesting read.
it was sent to me by an un-named flake some time ago. thought it was wild. i don’t collect that shit my man
Awesome! It’s totally true as well, about how we profile people. In my personal opinion, the quiet person who tells little, is more honest than the ones with a constant stream of dialogue running.
I haven’t actually her book, only watched her talks, would you recommend?
Also, I think Everyone should watch TED Talks. It should almost be mandatory in schools! 1000 + Ideas, and all of them relevant.
A gentleman!
Wp
“This ‘cult of personality’ world tries very hard to make everyone loud and excitable … but we can’t all meet that “ideal” *le shrug*”
You’re using the term “cult of personality” incorrectly in the context of what you are trying to say.
ALL HAIL HFX GODZILLA – Dear Leader of LTWWB.
http://static.happyplace.com/assets/images…
“Also, I think Everyone should watch TED Talks. It should almost be mandatory in schools! 1000 + Ideas, and all of them relevant.”
You realize that to fully make use of the TED talks you need to be able to critically think about what is being presented to you. Just because someone says they are an expert….doesn’t make them an expert. The problem with media and easily accessible information is people not knowing how to intelligently interpret the information fed to them.
Not saying TED Talks is a bad thing. It’s an exchange of knowledge which is always a good thing, but never accept anything someone says as 100% factual truth. Always leave open the chance that the information delivered to you might be incorrect. Never be scared to ask questions. Most students lack the ability to think critically about new information they are not familiar with so until students are taught to question (respectfully) then TED Talks would be a terrible learning tool.
Right, everyone should have a personality like a game show contestant. What a world that would be!
I thought they were CM Punk fans..
or maybe guitar hero?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcZDKLzCpGk
“ALL HAIL HFX GODZILLA – Dear Leader of LTWWB.”
The sarcasm hurts Ivan…
The quality of LTWWB has been going down hill. Too many stupid people who are too easy to troll or just so stupid they are immune to it. I want the old days of Tommy trolls and overly sexual comments towards female members of the community.
Too true, Zilla. It’s funny that you bring up that point actually, because I’ve seen a few Talks which address that exact issues. About being able to think critically about what you see/hear/smell/…
But of course, how do you get to the point of being able to critically analyze something without a variety of background information to draw from or compare with?
“Children need to be taught HOW to think, not WHAT to think.” – Margaret Mead
Not sarcastic at all, my scaley green chum. For many of us, especially on the Council of Elders (narf), you have been and will remain The Great Helmsman.
In keeping with the whole Cult of Personality theme >; )
Why you always trying to ride my dick Zilla? Jeez. Lol, I understand it wasn’t used quite right but I think you all got the point.
And yes Captain, I would recommend it.
lol u mad donk? get edumacated. Biitch!
Relax Zilla, I’m working on it.
“I want the old days of Tommy trolls and overly sexual comments towards female members of the community.”
Well, “domestication” seems to have done your old pal Tommy some good. Watch and weep, ‘Zilla. Watch. And. Weep.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8lwsgbZ…
You want the old days of Tommy trolls, Zilla? WELL GET TO IT. GAWD.
PS. Hi 🙂
relax zilla, the old perv suckster is still here, but under cover. hope by tonite, a female’s, hhhhhhh.
Get a receipt.
Wp
that skeezy prostitute is there so often, when it comes time to do her taxes she claims your apartment as her home office.
Didn’t read ALL of the 44 comments, some of them but I wanna say 2 things:
1) These kinds of people seem to be extremely slow or incapable of learning from their experiences. I’ve had male and female friends like this. One kinda grew out of it, the other is 30 and, not so much. All they ever talked about was their next prospect and it changed sometimes more than once a week and they kept making the same mistakes and getting heartbroken or taken advantage of or just involved in some heavy drama. I got really sick of hearing about it and I tried to talk to them and get them to see what I was seeing but when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex, I have yet to meet anyone like this who really takes advice from anyone. If they don’t like what they hear they just keep asking people until they hear what they want to hear from someone as clueless as they are.
So I ask myself how can I really help these people? I haven’t figured it out yet, opting to just distance myself from them. The kicker is that a lot of the time, if the person does eventually get it right and find someone, guess what? Either they stop coming around entirely and devote every minute of every day to their S/O, or they talk about their relationship and their significant other NON STOP . I CAN’T STAND THAT SHIT IT’S ALMOST WORSE!
I wouldn’t want my girlfriend just arbitrarily talking about our business to whoever will listen and I hear so many people doing it it drives me nuts. All that to say that these people are just the worst. Not only do they keep making shitty choices, they think that we give a shit. So I feel for ya OP. Say your piece to her and if she doesn’t listen, move on.
2) A lot of people are saying that these guys are using or disrespecting OP’s friend, and I’m sure a lot of them are, but there’s such a thing as a guy who might be in the market for a serious relationship but just gets turned off once they realize how needy and desperate someone is. That doesn’t go away once you get into a relationship, it just manifests itself in different ways.