I’ve lived my entire life doing everything for everybody. Family, friends, strangers… whoever needed something, I stepped up and tried my best to help them out.
What have I gotten in return? Rudeness, ungratefulness, animosity. I wasn’t even looking for anything in return… if we just pretend I never did anything for you, I’d be okay with that. What I’m not okay with is the way I’m treated by so many people I’ve gone without for so they wouldn’t have to. And I’m not talking about my kids or anything… I don’t have any. Just random people in my life.
Is this really what the majority of humanity is like? Take take take with no giving? I don’t understand because I was always taught that what you put out into the universe comes back to you.
I guess I was naive. I wish I didn’t care so much about people think cause I’d tell everyone off and just take off to somewhere and start over as a jerk.
You know what? I guess I’m just like everyone else. I’m selfish… I DID expect something in return: kindness and respect. Silly me. And I know this sounds poor me, but that’s how I feel right now. —I probably won’t change either way, but sometimes it sucks to be the nice guy.
This article appears in Jun 17-23, 2010.
o.p., let me be the first to say to hell with them. and if you know of the suckster, i’m being very nice with that. i will not add any more.
whom ever you are I relate to you 100 %; people associate being kind or generous with weakness or that you have arterial motives. You’re not necesssarily naive you just have to know who and when to extend your goodness to. Just take solace in the fact you’re being yourself and not a phony 🙂
Luke! Don’t give in to the Dark Side of the Force!
Expectations are planned disappointments, OP.
Majority of people aren’t take take take and no give, OP. You just hit a patch of rotten apples is all. For what it is worth, I will thank you for all the selfless help you have given to these people all this time. Thank you for being a decent human being, because people like you make the world a nicer place to live in. 🙂 So yeah, don’t give in to the Dark Side, because that’s not where you belong and you won’t like it there anyway.
“arterial motives”, martym…?
“The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is”
Go the Jerk route… sounds like you’ve earned it.
You’ll enjoy it more and make so many other people look better. 🙂
You’ll change…
and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
You just have to learn that sometimes saying no is the best thing you can do…
for yourself and the other person.
ulterior …… my bad 🙂
it’s ok, I go for the jugular too…
nice guys do finish last…
the ladies like it better that way.
Yeah Right, and my junk resembles a gherkin preaching the Sermon on the Mount to a pair of craisins; You’d think the vegan chicks would simply adore me. You’d be wrong.
ah, ok so you chose to read it the literal way…
perhaps placing your brain in the closest gutter might help you out.
And risk hypoxia – not on your life.
It’s doesn’t pay to be nice anymore. People will just take advantage of you.
there are worse things than hypoxia…
cum play in the gutter.
I’m sure a lot of people like it when they are taken advantage of…
The phrase ‘No good deed goes unpunished’ comes to mind.
When giving from the heart, there are no expectations. A good gift is a well thought out one which does take time and energy. That is the key.
There are so many different scenarios of giving and receiving gone bad. Try not to have any attatchment to the outcome …oh and remember don’t give unless you are willing to suffer the consequences.
TTFN: nice. I like that.
Sometimes the most compassionate move involves setting reasonable boundaries. Letting people walk all over you isn’t helping them out.
When you can get to the point when you can give of yourself without _truly_ expecting anything in return, just because it feels like the right thing to do, and that’s enough: bliss.
Op, don’t listen to Sebastien. I agree with Breedingdissent and ther others who talk about setting boundaries, but you need to lie in bed at night and feel GOOD about being the kind of person you are- instead of the awful way you feel right now. It’s the assholes who should feel awful (and probably do). The world needs more nice people. And nice is also sexy.
whilst I agree with most of what you said Z , nice is NOT sexy unfortunately
Nice CAN be sexy. Depends on how you do it. Maybe sneaky nice is sexy.
I think it can be sexy too, breedingdissent- and agree it’s on how you do it. Being nice combined with being confident is usually a good combination.
that’s like saying “being tall makes you good at basketball” …
not necessarily universally true…. but definitely a help.
didn’t help me, i dribble well but only out of my mouth
I don’t kow zzz, I think there are lots of people who find nice is a sexy quality in and of itself. There might be other off-putting traits to make the niceness of someone not enough, but nice is always sexy to me. I like a calm, self-assured (but in an egoless way) guy, who knows how to treat others. I think my husband is that type 🙂
“the road to hell is paved with good intentions”
“no good deed goes unpunished”
“give an inch, they will take a mile.”
there are 50 fortune cookie worthy clichés that describe your situation.
also my favourite, “there is no time left for me unless i take it first.” don’t feel guilty about wanting to be respected for the things you do, i for one can relate totally, i allow myself to be walked on to ensure someone’s happiness.
you have to re evaluate the people in your life and determine who deserves to be there and who doesn’t.
Thank you for being a nice kind caring person.
We need more people like you.
Personally it pisses me off when I hold a door for someone and they don’t say thank you.
if you were so good or noble as you claim you would not be asking for anything for your proper behaviour.being noble means dealing with sacrifice