To the people who slowly inch, inch, and inch forward in a line-up behind you, back up I’m serious. I can feel you breathing down my neck and it’s gross as hell. Realize that the line isn’t moving a substantial amount, so just stay where you are (a good god-damn 3 feet back) and don’t be tail gating me in a damn line-up! There is no need to stand so close to me unless we’re having sex! —Please Stand Behind the Yellow Line
This article appears in Apr 26 – May 2, 2012.
It annoys me too, OB, but I think 3 feet might be a little excessive, especially if it’s a busy place and people are packed in…
Next time just start singing, “Don’t stand.. don’t stand.. don’t stand so.. don’t stand so close to me”.
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3 feet per person…. maybe in a drive-thru at tims…
2’s fine fo’ me
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When that happens I just start talking about how I have lice or pinkeye
It takes a whole minute to wash your crotch with a cloth and throw on some deodorant!
Erm. That was meant for “Dirty Gym Goers” lawl
i just ask them why they’re standing so close to me. usually makes the back up
that’s when you let a bean fart casually slide
different cultures have different personal space zones. I find Latin Americans to be much more ‘cozy’ than what makes my WASPY self comfortable. 18″ about does it for me.
I agree many people don’t respect personal space in public. I also find people don’t respect space when using the debit machine either.
Debit machines? That’s when OP’s three foot rule should come in to effect. That’s more than just a personal space issue.
Arm’s length if facing me, two feet if behind me those are my personal space rules.
OB you a transit driver? Just tell them. If they don’t get behind the line pull the bus over. It’s a safety issue.
I second no_fool’s idea. That would be THE perfect time to drop an air biscuit. The next time some butt munch is standing too close behind you or is continually inching closer and closer, just drop your guts. Stinkier the better. (For full affect, a silent but deadly one is the way to go. That way, the idiot won’t know what has happened until it’s too late. It also allows you to feign disgust and blame it on someone else in line. It’s a win-win!)
Frig feigning disgust — own up to it! Be proud of your fart! Turn around and give the person behind you a big fat smile!
Never be ashamed of a good fart (whether it be a really loud one, a really smelly one, or one that feels REALLY goooood).
When in a queue, whether at the bank machine or the grocery store, I stand still while the people in front of me move ahead. I know when it is my turn as I am the next person after the person directly in front of me……. no brainer! Just because people move one step ahead after each transaction is ridiculous …… I do know it irks those behind me and this makes it more pleasurable for me.
I was standing in a line-up for a very long time once, and it was massive and barely moving, yet this guy behind me kept inching closer to me. I had nowhere to move except invade the smelly space of the person in front of me! And I could feel his breath on the top of me head! YUCK. I had to keep doing a massive bitch hair flick to get him to back off.
That’s when you turn around and say “would you mind moving back a bit?”
And if they don’t get aggressive and say “well I can smell what you had for lunch on your breath, and if you don’t move the fuck back you’ll be smelling what *I* had for lunch and it won’t be coming out of my mouth.”
Grocery line ups are the worse. Like I said before. It’s very unpleasant having a shopping cart rammed up your ass while waiting in line.
Start coughing and semi-convulse as you hack – works like a charm.
I usually turn around and say something like “My dad is a dentist.. i think you should have his card..”
They back up then. Sometimes they stop breathing all together.