yo bf
your bedroom skills are under developed
people that i have met here that you have slept with have said the same things
i will not marry you
you suck in bed
you dont do a thing
im fine by myself and im good cooking and cleaning and making myself some
pleasure
but you dont do a thing
worse the female vagina turns you off
well every ex of mine loved it
im leaving just for the sex alone
you were the only person keeping me here now im off
off to get my rocks off and enjoy a real partner
not some loser like you
you will never be able to keep a woman down
i cant wait to get off the plane and catch up on the two years of no good sex
call me a whore i dont care i only live once and want to fucking enjoy my body and heart with someone before i die or get a hip replacement ! —no sex is better than your sex dammmmmnnn
This article appears in Jan 16-22, 2014.
Watch that first step getting off the plane, it might be a doozie. You don’t want to damage your labia for the next partner.
Hahahaha, when a girl leaves a guy she always brings up how bad the sex was ….. always! Then it is the small penis ….. why we never hear of this bad sex with a small penis during the relationship still escapes me …. but never fails to get a mention on the departure.
I have known girls who ignore texts and calls ….. because the guy had a small dink …. these are smart girls and their time is too important to them to waste on a non-starter or a stubby.
if she is leaving just because of the lousy sex then there was nothing else of significance to the relationship, which makes one wonder “why put up with it for 2 years?”
esp in her advanced age (looking down the barrel of hip replacement)
this blame it on the little dinky-doo must be a new generation thing. i used to make up wonderous excuses to cut the knot.
Another thought I had is….Why would one go back to an ex? They are exes for a reason and I’m sure that that reason will manifest itself again as the reason why you left them in the first place. Just saying.
I suspect this young lady will quite enjoy her bone-a-thon. I say, good for you, girl. keep your freedom and your options open. Bad sex is worse than no sex. Every time you think of his ‘O’ face, you’ll know you did the right thing.
Perhaps if you allowed him some ass to mouth action. That might have spiced things up a bit.
Best sex of my life–post hip replacement (at the advanced age of 34). If it’s broke, fix it.
IS SEX THE SAME FOR THE FEMALE AS IT IS FOR THE MALE?
This bitch reads like it could have been written by a guy. There is a total concern with the physical genitalia which is more a typically male sort of thing, at least in fleeting relationships. But there is a deep psychological difference between the male act of penetration in which the penis plays the starring role as opposed to the female act of being penetrated in which, in addition to the supporting role of the vagina, the entire reproductive machinery of the female body is engaged.
The reason for this is that the concept of the female and reproduction are fundamentally inter-connected in a way that intercourse for the male is not. Females, by their physicality (and their psychology which is itself an expression of that physicality) are hard-wired for reproduction while for the male, by comparison, intercourse is more of a spectator sport. It is odd, as with this bitch, to see intercourse so viewed by a female.
New Avatar Alert!
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Agree MM (well, except for the part about sex being a spectator sport for men – unless that sport is some form of sexy co-ed UFC)…I also thought this bitch sounded more like bad poetry and/or the work of a self-loathing troll than it did a disgruntled ex-gf.
If you want to read about some really bad sex experiences for women, and young girls, read Cruel and Usual Punishment by Nonie Darwish, it’s about the fucked up world of the joys of Sharia and how great it is to be a man.
that has about as much to do with sexual experiences as a tube up your nose does to dining
OB probably lays there like a star fish anyway.
A hundred years ago she would be called a strumpet, or a harlot, but today she’s a cunt.
Actually, Koda, the best partner I had also happened to have a pretty small penis, and even though he’s an asshole, I gotta give him his due. So not all of us play that game. *shrug*
it’s all about the hands
Sex is like working together to reach a common goal: His orgasm.
RSVP
: Ho!s+ThatLeg (01/18, 11:23AM)
Glad to hear that you agree with my analysis of the differences in the male and female views of sexual intercourse. When I claimed that intercourse is “more of a spectator sport” for men I meant that it did not carry that profound psychological connection with reproduction that it does for women, or at least most of them. The poster, however, might be one of the exceptions and that is why I found her post “odd.”
New Avatar Alert: Two Sabres
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
RSVP
Paingirl (01/18, 11.15PM)
Not just the hands.. fingers, toes, lips, tongue and even small penises for those unfortunately qualified, lol.
Like Proust’s famous madeleines, Montrealman’s new avatar has triggered a string of involuntary memories leading, not, as some might think to some arcane bit of military trivia, but rather, back to my youth in Calgary, Alberta, circa 1976. The local cable access channel offered, every Friday night, their “Blue-vie” movie – invariably a soft-core fap-fest which offered the lonely, 15 year old outcast a temporary respite from algebra and swirlies as well as the first chance to see titz’n’fur in glorious fullbodied technicolour motion. “The Long Swift Sword of Siegfried” was one of these weekly offerings, a prime example of a long forgotten sub-genre known as Bavarian Porn. It featured characters taken from German mythology (Brunnhilde, Kriemhilde), Wagner on the soundtrack and an early full-frontal nude scene by a young Sybil Danning. To a generation accustomed to Russian porn at the touch of a fingertip, it would today seem tedious and quaint but back then – Ach Du Lieber!
Anyway, In the Sharpe novels of Bernard Cornwell (I know, I know, MM – the “compleat man” eschews works of fiction) the eponymous Rifleman wields a straight-bladed, heavy cavalry sword. In fact, in “Sharpe’s Sword” he becomes enamoured of a sword of Kligenthal steel, borne by a villainous french officer (Is there any other kind?)
I like the creativity of some of the titles of the porn movies, an all time favorite was Driving it to Miss Daisy.
With technology being as advanced as it is, buddy could’ve invested In a 3D printer and printed off a giant knob?
RSVP
: Col. Ivan Sonofabitch (01/19, 10:05AM)
Bavarian Porn? Sharpe’s Sword? Yes, while I didn’t realize my sabres would stimulate such a response one just never does know. In any case, I think I am beginning to see the deep psychological wellsprings of your Freudian affinity to weaponry of various sorts.
While viewing my sabres did you happen to experience a priapic tumescence comparable to that when you viewed “The Long Swift Sword of Siegfried” in Calgary all those years ago? As then, did you take appropriate action? Did it cause a mess?
Speaking of Calgary, have you ever heard of Queen Elizabeth High School (Calgary NW), one of many institutions which benefited from my enlightened Socratic pedagogy?
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
My priapic adventures are none of your concern, good sir; suffice to say , when confronted with a hard dilemma, I had the solution well in hand. I served two years at Central Memorial H.S. in the South West. I learned several years ago that my Jr. High, Sir Samuel Steele had been closed and now functions as the Museum of the Regiments, and if I ever return, I shall have to give it a look.
Me too. When I read this bitch I was left wondering if it was written by a guy prettending to be a gal.
RSVP
: Col. Iva Sonofabitch (01/19, 4:44PM)
Interesting. I mean Calgary, not your priapic adventures. I lived on 17th. Avenue SW. Of course that was some time ago, in one of my previous incarnations. I might have heard of Central Memorial H.S. at the time – my cognitive perspective while intense was never particularly broad – but now the name evokes not even a vestigial trace.
Calgary television at the time opened with a picture of a cowboy riding his horse over some barren treeless hills as the voice-over drawled, “I don’t know why Calgary is the greatest town in the world,” etc. etc. I knew I had to leave Calgary as soon as possible.
New Avatar Alert! “R.C.A.F. KAYOES A PROWLER”
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
hell yeah, fuck losers, this city is a nest of losers pretending to be awesome.
“Turned off by the female vagina” …???
Perhaps the problem is deeper rooted!