K, remember my creepy boss that liked to fancy himself with how many boyfriends I had? Funny thing about that. The S.O.B has taken it to a WHOLE NEW goddamn level. Every night after I get out of work, he offers to drive me home. Um, let me rephrase that, TELLS ME he will take me home. No offense mister, but I don’t want to risk being raped and thrown into a ditch on the side of the road after you relieve yourself after months of your creepy sexual desire. This has been going on for about a month now. I’ve taken him aside two times and told him, “Look, I get rides home from my friends. I don’t need you, so stop asking. Please.” He just won’t quit. I’m honestly considering leaving. I swear to Virgin Mary’s holy fingernails, if this doesn’t stop I’m going to kick his nuts so hard they’ll materialize into another fucking dimension. Lord deliver me from this hellhole.
—Dino
This article appears in Jun 25 – Jul 1, 2009.
Dino, what an awful position to be in…..have you put your dislike for his harassment in writing? If not please do..this may need to got to the Labour Board, Human Rights and /or police….. PROTECT YOURSELF and be safe~
Look him square in the eye and tell him that his insistence is HARRASSMENT – and you will file a complaint with the Human Rights Board if he doesn’t stop. And remind him he can’t fire you for not accepting his sleazy offers. If I were you, I’d be looking for other work, pronto. This dude is BAD news with a capital B. and he is just stupid enough to keep pressing the issue. Your safety comes first, Dino.
Hey, Dino, let me barge in your workplace, announce I’m your mother and threaten to perform his castration with a rusty pizza cutter if he doesn’t quit his gross shit.
Hey Dino, try “no thank you”. And again tomorrow. And again the day after that. You know he’s just an old timer who’s rather fond of you… and who wouldn’t be?
TTFN…you are…..bad 😉
Dino: You need to do something about this, not just quit. If you don’t put an end to his disgusting inappropriate behaviour, he’ll just do it to the next pretty young woman who works there. Creeps like this guy need to be taught a lesson. File a complaint with every single department you can.
TTFN: The threat of a rusty spoon would be much more effective. Even if it’s rusty, a pizza cutter is still a cutting tool. A spoon is most definitely not a cutting tool.
just tell him you belong to this mysterious crime fighting posse and that we are always watching
She’s taken him aside twice and basicly told him she’s not interested, and to fuck off. I dont think the no thank you will work… Dino, check out the song, like a boss by the lonely island. It’s fucking hilarious and it kinds reminds me of your situation. As for serious advice, just be really cold with him untill he finally gets the hint. Say stuff like, sure, my BOYFRIEND is just down the street, do you mind if we pick him up too? Yeah I’d love a ride home, BUT ID NEVER DATE AN OLDER CREEP LIKE YOU! no thank you, I’m busy filing this sexual harrasment form. And if all of the above don’t work, file a complaint.
I think you should press sexual harrassment charges against him. You have told him lots of times to pretty much back off and hes not listening. Tell him out right that your going to press charges and if he threatens to fire you because of it … tell him to go ahead and that you will see him in court for unlawfully firing you and for sexually harrassing you
I whole-heartedly agree with Never Wrong…especially about the rusty spoon, hell I offer to assist TTFN in the application of said castration with a rusty spoon.
What a fucking creepy boss.
Good luck and Stay safe Dino.
Gee, thanks for the advice guys. I don’t think I have the guts to pull off a Hard Candy gore festival on the dude’s property…I’d leave that to TTFN and DER I suppose. It’s too bad it’s gotta end this way.
I’ll admit though, if my boss was young, smoking hot and smoother than Activia, he’d be taking me someplace other than just my house. 😉
kay i normally agree wholeheartedly with your posts when you advise taking a kind and gentle but direct approach instead of passive aggressive bitching. but it sounds like this case is far beyond that. i think telling dino not to sweat this one is unwise… (unless you’re being facetious; i can’t tell this time)
And I’ll admit, that even without male junk, I’m getting queasy just thinking about rusty spoons…
Um, Kay, sexual harrassment in the workplace (and other related crimes like sexual assault) have nothing to do with one person being “fond” of another.
I don’t think what the OP posted here is about “harmless fun at work” — I think she is in a potentially humiliating (at best) and/or potentially dangerous (at worst) situation.
Any person who was “fond” of someone wouldn’t think up ways to deliberately creep them out all the time, wouldn’t intentionally do things they know made another person uncomfortable. (Or in some cases, frightened.)
I think Dino should find another place to work as soon as she can, because you cannot win against losers like this as long as they have power.
(And I’m not dissing all the truly sweet charming older men out there at all—I’m married to one.)
Ok so Dino let me get this right b/c herein may lie the reason no one takes sexual harassment seriously….so if he was young and smoking hot and did the same things you would go with him…..
Please tell me I am misreading……b/c if that is how it is then you lose my vote….sexual harassment is sexual harassment……. it is not suppose to be a crime of convenience….
ok well fuck, dino, you just lost my sympathy. all of it.
here we go again with it being perfectly acceptable to sexually harass a woman as long as you’re young, hot, have money, and she’s ovulating.
can’t have it both ways. sexual harassment is either ok, or it’s not.
i’d be fired for saying i’d fuck my boss if she was younger and prettier than she is but that her friendliness is disgusting because she’s old and wrinkled. instantly fired.
thank you
Want me to beat him up, Brontosaurus Jr?
That would be great NGF, but you can be the brontosaurus and I’ll just be the big ass pterodactyl. But really guys, I never said that this was necisarily sexual harassment; the guy is just hitting on me. Which is COMPLETELY inappropriate for someone his age, seeing that I am first of all a young woman, not some old bird. The reason why I am afraid of being raped by him versus a young guy is because I don’t see any older man in their right mind or perspective allowing themselves to take advantage of a situation like that; seeing that an old man and a young woman alone together is questionable enough.
Some young women like us old geezers.
However,unwanted sexual advances at work (whether hot or not) is illegal, which is why they have workplace sexual harassment laws.
Dino perhaps you are just incredibly naive, but any man hitting on you so much to the degree that you fear rape IS sexual harassment. Sexual harassment doesn’t mean he necessarily makes sexual remarks, or grabs your ass, or anything like that. It can, but it can also mean that he is just so pushy and won’t take no for an answer that he makes you fear for your safety.
But this seems to be very mixed up in your mind with his age. It seems you only think he’s inappropriate and possibly dangerous because he’s old? And you think you’re too young and sweet for him?
So which is it? Is this guy truly inappropriate, or is he just not your type so you’re going “ewwwwww”?
I’m not even trying to be hard on you, but it just seems you are just far, far too immature to handle this yourself.
Hey Jammie, uncalled for. I am neither immature nor naive, and I’ve got a lot more common sense than most twitty girls my age. In case you didn’t realize, my earlier comment was not to be read that seriously; I was merely kidding around. You are correct however, that flirting is upgraded to harrassment when the offended party is feeling threatened. Let me just make it clear that I’m not a fucking dumbass like you suggest.
The guy’s age should have nothing to with the debate here. The fact that his advances are unwanted is relevant, whatever the reason. Dino’s already shot the guy down a couple of times and he won’t let up. That’s not right whether he’s young or old, hot or not, her superior or her underling.
You can’t blame a guy for trying – if you did I’d never get laid – but there comes a point where a guy either gets the hint, or gets his ass reported.
The age doesn’t necessarily matter in this case. The fact is Dino has made it clear that his advances are offensive to her in some manner. It wouldn’t matter if I were doing it at my tender age of 28 or the boss at age 68 – she is uncomfortable with the come-ons and has a right to feel “comfortable” – especially at work!
I like to look at gals in Dino’s age bracket but I don’t make attempts to drive them home or ask them about 10 boyfriends. Then again, I like to chat it up with women 10-15 years older than I am personally.
Gotta hand it to Dino though. She comes across as being more mature than most other gals her age in this city.
Oh oh, NGF is goin’ cougar huntin’.. Sorry NGF, I couldn’t resist.
its all good, BT. i love older women honestly 😀
i’m told they like me too, but who knows? that’s just my old man talking though. we have great tans too, so maybe that helps!
Nevermind – exactly. Allow me to further my point. I’ve turned down a bunch of guys because a. they were pushy, b. they were insecure, or c. they made me feel uncomfortable. No matter if the guy was hot or not, old or young, any of those behaviours are absolute TURN OFFS. Originally my point was underdeveloped and made me seem like a airhead ~ my lighthearted comment was meant to read like this: If I had a young, attractive boss that had NONE of the listed unfavorable charactaristics my current boss has, and he asked politely, only once, ”would you like a ride home?” then I would say ‘yes of course’. Now, the flip side to that would be “What if a sweet old man asked you that?” My answer would be no. To me, that would be inappropriate because of the age difference. PS: Thanks, NGF.
If you’re not smart enough to call him up on sexual harassment charges, then you deserve the way he treats you.
“I’ve turned down a bunch of guys because a. they were pushy, b. they were insecure, or c. they made me feel uncomfortable.”
Dammit! I’d have no chance with you Dino!
OK folks. I did NOT suggest that *I* felt it was because of his age.
Dino herself mentioned his age several times as being the factor that made his advances creepy. I was trying to make the very same point that you are – his age is irrelevant.
I called Dino immature specifically because she basically said “I’m afraid he’ll rape me because no old man in his right mind could possibly dream of being with a delicate prize like me. But it’s not sexual harassment”
She also basically said, “it’s because he’s so old that he’s a creep, otherwise I’d be suckin’ him off in the back of his Lexus.”
She centered the issue around his age; I didn’t.
And yes, Dino, these are the words of a very naive, immature young girl, not a strong woman.
P.S.
Please don’t misunderstand. I think this guy sounds like a TOTAL creep-o and should be fired. I’m on Dino’s side as far as that’s concerned.
But she also made some pretty stupid statements in this thread about the situation that makes me feel she has some double-standards, may not be handling this very well, and in fact may be damaging to her case if she tried to pursue it.
First, Jammie, please stop with your ignorant, offensive statements. Right now you sound ridiculously inmature. I’m not a fucking ‘delicate prize’, hell, I’m not a prize at all. I’m a regular girl who doesn’t give a rat’s ass if I’m with a guy or not. Your words are those of an instigator and make little to no sense in my perspective.
Second, you think that I’d go for a guy because of his wealth?! Once again, I could give a rat’s ass. You refuse to accept my above points, which clear me of any self-centred, idiotic thought processes, and I have stressed more than once that it is all about the circumstances, which makes all the difference. I obviously can’t convince you that I’m a strong, independent woman, so take it or leave it.
Ultimately:
-I do not welcome threatening behaviour, especially if it is under the guise of a handsome, suave young man
-I choose men that are honest, sincere, and have good morals, and are no more than five years older than I.
End of story.
No, Dino, I’m not being an insitigator.
YOU said all of those things in not so many words, and now you are refusing responsibility for your own stupidity. Give it up.
I do not debate that his behavior was offensive. I debate that it has anything to do with his age. An harasser is an harasser regardless of age.
I agree completely that threatening behavior is unacceptable. But it seems that you only interpreted his behavior as threatening because he was old. That is what YOU said. Not me.
You made it about his age in several of your remarks, and in fact implied that it would NOT be inappropriate behavior if he was young. Again, YOU said this, not me.
Only a childish, naive girl would make it about that. None of your points “clear [you] of any self-centred, idiotic thought processes”.
The fact that you “have stressed more than once that it is all about the circumstances, which makes all the difference” only reinforces my point. Sexual harassment isn’t relative. Otherwise date rape would be OK.
I’m not being an instigator or childish here. I’m trying to show you how dangerous your own thinking is.
still no Bud Light Lime anywhere in the city 🙁
NGF they had it at the Moustache last week. It is tasty. B
ut like Corona, it its very unsatisfying by the time you’ve had 3. Then you have to switch to something stronger.
NGF: I never would’ve suspected you were a light beer drinker 🙂
probably like 8 bucks there too.
Yeah they were stupidly expensive – don’t remember exactly but I think it was over $6. Ridiculous. I don’t understand why it would be so expensive unless it’s limited edition or somesuch.
So. How you doin’?
It got quiet around here. i think I saw a tumbleweed.
Do you think maybe Dino’s mad at me?
ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz……
NGF they have it at the Lion’s Head.
IMO if your boss is offering you rides home and it makes you feel uncomfortable and he still asks after you’ve told him to stop twice, that is harassment.
Until you file a complaint, he’s probably not going to stop. Speak up or put up with it.
And for the lime Bud drinkers, wouldn’t it be cheaper to buy lime kool-aid? Same thing.
Go to your human resources file a complaint. If your in a union then you should contact them too. This is when unions are good.
First, tell the boss point blank “Asking to drive me home, after I have asked you not to, is inappropriate. I am not interested. If you ask again I will consider it harassment and I will file a formal harassment complaint. Do you understand?”
Second, report him when he asks again
There are two things wrong with Bud Lime Lite. First, calling it a beer. Horsepiss yes, beer, no. Second, lime. When a beer is properly brewed, it does not need lime, lemon, or fucking anything else.
Jammie, your points are moot. You clearly instigated an argument that was derived from a foundationless joke, are you are twisting my words around to win at your own insignificant, childish game to tarnish my image. I know what my morals are, and they are not even close to the ones you have painted me as having. You have taken part in namecalling and smear tactics, all to further your meaningless points, made so by my honest and true rebuttals that you should have honorably respected. If that’s your idea of entertainment, I hope you had fun. Now, you say my judgement is dangerous? Then why have I, for one, never gotten drunk before age 19? Or gotten pregnant unintentionally? Or been in an abusive relationship? Or done any hard drugs? Your logic is flawed, Jammie; you don’t know the depths of a persons character until you meet them and understand what they live for. I now suggest that you get up from your chair from which you’ve ensconced yourself upon and do something more productive than trying to win a pointless argument that you have clearly lost.
PS: I’m not mad at you Jammie, I am always up for a spirited debate, however the foundation for this bitch was not built with the intention of sparking debate, and you comments are unfortunately childish and unsportsmanlike, and I am disappointed in your character, which is seemingly quite flawed and bitter.
Sorry Dino, but if I didn’t know your comments and (without having met you) know you are NOT what Jammie is calling you, I would have some of the same concerns as her. Even though your age comment was a joke, you have focused a lot on age, whether you realize it or not. You have also made it sound like an older guy offering you a ride home is automatically creepy. IMO that tells me that you think that a ride home is getting hit on in all cases, which just isn’t necessarily true. Obviously this guy is a creep, no debate there, but it is possible for an older guy to offer you a ride home because it’s near his house, or he just doesn’t want you walking home alone.
I lurve you though…:D
And, I admitted that age was not a factor, and that I meant to make that clear in my ”inflammatory” statement, but made up for it in my next statement, which you promptly ignored and proceeded to harass me about.
Sorry for all the ”PS’s”, but one final word:
In referring to my original statement, in “a smoking hot young man”, I meant someone I knew that worked there, that I knew treated me with respect and didn’t sexually harrass me asking me if I wanted a ride home,
juxtaposed to:
the context of my particular manager with his inflammatory remarks, who just *happened* to be an older man, NOT older men in general.
Dino…why is ANY part of your personal life this jerk’s business?
The workplace is a place for professionalism. It is not even appropriate for one’s personal life to be discussed. Number of boyfriend’s you’ve had? How is this relevant to your job?
Your boss is in a position of professional authority over you and there are very clearly defined boundaries that govern his position. Seems like he has clearly over-stepped them and THIS is the only thing that matters here. It does not matter whether he is a geezer or an Adonis.
Professionalism in the workplace does not include personal relationships between staff. Suppose you dated an Adonis boss but he dumps you or vice versa. Could you really face going to work every day after that?
Protect yourself from this sexual harrassment by filing a claim. He needs to learn that ‘No Means No!” Jerks like this need to be stopped in their tracks! NEVER let a man take advantage of you in any circumstance! Your self-respect demands no less!
I feel like I should but I’m not sure. I’m surrounded by lots of my friends there that support me and most of my boss’ family works there too, so it could wind up being an awkward situation for all parties involved.
You will have to do what you feel is best of course. Perhaps seeking alternate employment first would be an option, whether you file a complaint or not. You don’t need to tolerate this type of element in the workplace. Whatever you choose to do always take the high road and keep your integrity and professionalism intact.
You should be a life coach 🙂
Dino – let me see if I have this straight – you are repulsed by his advances because of his age, but by your own admission, if he was younger etc. you would be leading him upstairs?
Can you spell SLUT?
“Hey Dino, try “no thank you”. And again tomorrow. And again the day after that. You know he’s just an old timer who’s rather fond of you… and who wouldn’t be?” -Kay
You disgust me, kay.
This sexual harassment is obviously bother Dino and she’s obviously told the guy to back off. After telling him to back off once he should’ve backed. the. fuck. off. She shouldn’t have to deal with this crap, and your comment obviously says it’s dino’s job to continue to deal with this.
I had a situation like this during one of my co ops with the federal government, except this guy worked in the mail room, looked me up and kept visiting my cubicle. The last straw for me was when he started touching me (my neck specifically — he thought it was a great idea to randomly visit me and attempt to give me a neck massage one day). It was a HUGE building so for him to seek me out…that wasn’t just something he accidently stumbled upon. Anyway i went to my supervisor about it and it stopped after that. But I had to change my route to my floor/office so i didn’t have to deal with him and because it really freaked me out — i didn’t know what he was capable off, esp after he was obviously told to cut it the fuck out. and yeah, I also had someone tell me that I should just stfu about it because he could lose his job over it and it would be a shame if I cost him his job….well, don’t sexually harass/stalk me at work and you won’t risk losing your job. It wasn’t my responsibility to either deal with that crap or police his actions.
Sexual harassment like this is NOT fun, Kay. I don’t wish that upon anyone, but maybe if you had to deal with something that made you uncomfortable like this you’d get a little insight instead of just bitching about things you have obviously have no idea about.
Dino — go to your boss’s boss if you can….if not put in a complaint with the local labour board. this is serious shit, and I know how much this sucks for you. You shouldn’t have to deal with this on an ongoing basis, despite what kay thinks.
Thanks PK. BF – it was a joke. I’m the exact opposite of that dreaded four letter word you throw around.
This thread needs to burn in hell.
don’t listen to the asshats in this thread. it’s the internet so the average joe’s asshole quotient tends to go up exponentially when faced with a message board they can post their asshat “opinions” on. most would never say this shit irl — people are pussies on the internet.
Don’t have time to read this whole thread, but my thought regarding the apologists is that (unless you’re some kind of mindless twit who thinks that every guy above a certain age is grossly flirting with her no matter what the interaction) we fucking know when it’s innocent and when it’s creepy. And when there’s a pattern of creepy behavior, you get judged by that. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Deal with it.
The repeated ride offers sounds to me like either an opportunity to make sexual advances (either because he feels it’s his right, or because he’s convinced himself you’d respond favourably) or just a way to feel like he’s doing a “young lady” a “favour” (i.e. making you beholden). Either way, not innocent whatsoever.
Oh and Basil, so, suddenly, expressing a sexual preference makes one a slut? Or is it just the desire to have sex at all? Can you please elaborate?
Also, will you be entering junior high this fall? Must be an exciting time!
I’ll admit I didn’t read the bizzilion posts that have happened here since I last posted if you, Dino, will admit he’s a nice old codger you just can’t bring yourself to be harsh with.
dino where’d ya go?
Facebook? I’m taking a hiatus. I’ll be back in a week or so.
i thought your boss maybe abducted you and took you to his old folks home! jk.
That’s why I carry around spare shanks in my back pockets.
its backs pocket!
Dino you have gone to an enourmous amount of effort writing a whole lot of fluffery about how bloody wonderful you are, and how mean and nasty I am, but you never managed to address the whole point of my comments:
– you are making this all about the guy’s age. Because he’s old, he’s automatically a creep, like 1fallingangel1 said.
Listen, I think the guy IS a creep, but if you take this to HR and say “I am a young woman of high moral character and I would never allow myself to be scandalized by accepting a ride from a man 20 years my senior,” you might not be taken very seriously.
You make it sound like you just think he is “icky” because he’s old, and that comes off as rather immature and an airhead. Really. At least 5 other posters have interpreted your remarks that way, so it’s not just me.
Address his behaviors, not his age, if you want to be taken seriously. That’s all.
My own P.S. yes I did read the posts where you say you admit it is not about his age, and yet, you keep talking about his age and have now gone so far to state that you have a “sexual preference” with respect to age.
By continuing to conflate the two issues – his behavior vs his age, you are going to make it very difficult for any HR department to make a case.
Trust me on this – when they talk to you, they will repeatedly remind you to focus on his behaviors, focus on his behaviors, focus on his behaviors.
And for the record I do think you should take it to HR or something, because if you just leave or stay quiet, then he gets away with it and does it to the next girl.
Believe it or not, I support your position and think that he is a real problem you need to deal with. Just be careful how you frame it; see how fast you lost several posters’ sympathies? That can happen at work too if you focus on basically how you’re too good for him (I know you never said that, but it’s what comes across), instead of focussing on the real problem of his behavior.
The guy probably has a good 40 years on little Dino from the sounds of it and he has been told repeatedly “she is not interested”. His persistence is becoming annoying, maybe to a point where any young female may even feel “threatened”.
There is a difference between complimenting a woman and then invading her social space. Since its her boss, he obviously feels he has something on Dino, maybe because she’s young (and thinks she’d be too naive to go to upper management or even authorities) or that he can toy with her b/c she’s from another country.
Overall, she’s uncomfortable – which is “creepy” for anybody. Nobody enjoys feeling uncomfortable in any setting, Jammie, not even you would.
Maybe Dino is a cutie, however she has a right to have a safe and comfortable working environment. Creepy is merely an adjective.
If an 70 year old woman hit on me, I may get a genuine kick out of it however if it became a daily occurence, I may get annoyed too. If the 70 year old was only joking, not a problem, we can all share a gag. But if she had intent of getting me into her knickers, even I would get uncomfortable eventually.
Hey NGF — make that 44 years… *gag*
NGF I’ve said over and over again that I think what he is doing is wrong. I totally agree with that.
I’m not saying anything more about it because people clearly just do not understand that I can disagree with one part of Dino’s argument, while continuing to support her right to be safe and to nail this jerk to the wall.
Dino – kick his ass, seriously. Just….well, you know…
*******
Want me to beat him up, Brontosaurus Jr?
Posted by Nice Goin’ Fat on June 26, 2009 at 12:54 PM
*******
Offer of physical violence. I’m not even half way through the list yet people – tip of the iceberg here.