Hey food vendor! I thought you gave this up?! I saw a guy pick his itchy ASS, then give you money for his lunch. Taking his money means his ASS is now on your hands. Don’t worry about washing your hands, I don’t mind. Prep some of my food why dont cha! Make it look pretty, with all that ASS lingering all over it! Wrap that lunch up, serve it with a smile, and ask “Who’s next?!” Take a fucking hygenics course for fracs sake.
—Ass Police
This article appears in Jun 4-10, 2009.
Shouldn’t your bitch be directed more at the guy who picked his ass? Not the vendor? Maybe he didn’t see the ass-picking.
Still gross though.
Bitch is directed at the proper target. If he handles food, he should require a basic level of hygiene. Regardless of seeing the ass scratching, he handled money before moving on to another person’s food. If there was no disposable gloves or even antibacterial cream used, he is in the wrong.
I think there’s plenty of blame to go around on this one.
I demand to know this vendor so I can “avoid at all costs”. Hints?
SICK
You went to a street vendor OP, who doesn’t exactly have access to running water at that exact second. While having gloves would have been nice for him, there are certain givens with buying food from the street, and this is one of them. If this sickens you, go inside.
There was no mention of “street vendor”, just plain old food vendor. I admit that the term may hint at a mobile operation, fast food restaurants like Rotten Ronnies and Dirty Bird are also vendors of food, with permenant plumbing fixtures in place. Just sayin. Some hints would be nice, who ya raggin on?
Hey, this is a great way to build up your immune system. A little ass grease never hurt anyone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTgneLluypg
Also, how do I get a job with the “ass police”? That sounds right up my alley! 🙂
No worse than the downtown Dartmouth Subway where the girl wears gloves to make your sandwich, then handles cash with same gloves and proceeds to make the next sub with same gloves.
I’m shocked at the idiocy of the ASS picker in the first place. Some people are just born without manners. If you ask me most public food stations harbor their own cascade of nasty habits so I avoid them altogether and stick to my favorite restaraunts instead.
What gets me is how people handle money with their bare hands (you, me, the customer) and then eat with those same hands. Money is about as dirty as it gets but did anybody ever die from licking their fingers? Food for thought.
I’ll bet OP really “sucks” at fellatio / cunnilingus
I’m the Bitcher.
The Coast doesn’t allow me to say who I’m pointing my finger at, but I’ll say that it’s an inside “takeout” establishment and has won a “best of” in the Coast. Other hints are #! Do_??_me_fa_so_la_te_do. #@ It Fell Awful.
And I wash my hands before I eat food. And brush my teeth when I’m done.
Ass Police
It took me forever to decifer that code Bubba, but I got it eventually. Thanks for the heads-up!
Kay/voice of reason… immunities. you’ll likely survive unless that have ebola or crazy something you haven’t come across.
TTFN, I wasn’t shielded so I’m with ya. I’ve said before, my immune system is like superman on kryptonic steroids.
If I’m sick, there’s a pandemic of epic proportions.
Don’t worry about double-dipping either….
Mythbusters cracked that sucker a while ago.
I hate Clerks. Everyone loves Clerks, except for me. Stoner movies are boring as shit and not funny at all. I can’t even get through them when I’m stoned.
I hated clerks too! You’re not the only one