I’m so sick of hearing neighbours having sex. I’ll be relaxing and then…boom boom boom slam slam slam…awww! ooooh!! awww yes!! fuck! oaaawwwwwwhhhhh!!
Every fucking day, every fucking night. The ones above me do it, the ones below me do it, the ones to my left and right do it, the ones across the hallway do it (btw, I was just getting home when I heard the ones across the hallway, and their lovemaking reeks! All ass smell out in the hallway. Take a fucking shower before you do the deed! Eww). I hear it loud and clear. I hate the apartment buildings in this town. The walls are too fucking thin. I don’t want to hear human mating! Whenever I have sex, I’m fucking quiet. No one wants to hear me, and I don’t want to hear them! I can tolerate it once in a while, but these tenants seem to have no jobs and all they do is have sex! I’ll leave in the morning for work and will hear sex as I’m walking out the door, and the second I come home, I’m hearing it. Don’t you guys have other things to do? And they’re loud as fuck, I’ll turn my music/TV up and I still hear it! I’m sick of it always being awkward and uncomfortable in my home. I’m getting the fuck out of this building and moving to one where it’s mainly old people there. My chances of hearing the deed will be slim to none! —I need to buy a house
This article appears in Jan 30 – Feb 5, 2014.
Even us oldies like the romp in the sack the odd time….we’re just more mature about our guttural primal screams
You got to get out of Cowie Hill, OP, that high-rise has moved seven feet in the last year with tenants excessively humping.
Take up the ukulele and start playing ‘Mama’s Got a Squeezebox’ every half hour.
Jealous much?
You must live in one shitty building.
My building is concrete and I hear absolutely nothing from the neighbours.
Jeez OP do you live in a Home for Rabbits?
Ob, hourly rates for rent should have set off warning bells for you.
Tell me what building this is so I can move there! Man, if I lived there my unit would be encased in my dryed out cum!
Be creative, time the duration of each apartments mattress mambos and post the results in the lobby?
You don’t have the music turned up loud enough.
I made one of my former co-workers laugh his ass off when I told him the building he lived in was called ‘Hornybrook’ back in the 70s.
When i was part of the not getting it crowd, i used to crank the porn, and not flush the toilet. I eventually hooked up with my neighbor.
Is their any hot ATM action going on in any of those apartments op? Ever hear anybody scream “Yeah big boy!!! Stuff my pucker hole full of your man meat!”
MAINLY OLD PEOPLE THERE
“I’m getting the fuck out of this building and moving to one where it’s mainly old people there.” I need to buy a house
Ivan, do you think you could rent out a room?
Avatar Alert! A Class Marker?
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
“Ivan, do you think you could rent out a room?”
Oooooh – thinking of returning to Halifax , are you?
All this talk of summits piqued your interest, eh?
RSVP
Col. Ivan Sonofabitch- 95th Rifles(02/04, 10.07AM)
It would be a pleasure to have MM attend a summit…we may have to revise our strategy to that of the Mafioso and give MM an offer he can’t refuse. For my part I vow to sit next to him and we can both ogle and fantasize about labia. Maybe having the 95th rifle fife and drum corp giving us old military tunes will make MM remember his youth during his many campaigns.
If need be, I could set up a room and have the walls adorned with many pics of labia from all nationalities…I’m sure MM would feel like he never left Montreal. Hoist will provide a box of tissues for MM’s indiscretions if the need arises.
‘I call to order the first meeting of the Luscious Labia Lappers of Liechtenstein…’ (uses quahog clam for gavel)
RSVPS
: Col. Ivan Sonofabitch – 95th. Rifles (02/04, 10:07AM)
Well I was thinking of the poster, really. I thought of your spot as being someplace quiet with mainly old people there was just what the doctor ordered. Just sort of sitting around in the rockers staring at the dying coals in the fireplace. As far as the summit is concerned, it does have a certain theoretical interest but the fact is I do prefer written as opposed to spoken interaction as my profound yet witty posts continually attest. While, of course, my conversation is sparkling there is the unavoidable matter of sensory-input overload in cases of spoken interaction – facial expressions, sounds, smells and so on. And then again there is the matter of my napkin ring, the “sine qua non” (that’s Latin for “without which, nothing”) for all my acts of social intercourse. But still, one does never know.
:Klyde (11:43AM)
You certainly paint an attractive picture. However, while you may fantasize and ogle the pictures of labia of all nationalities on the wall with concupiscent intent, I prefer to contemplate their variations from a philosophical perspective, perhaps even theorizing in a Platonic sense about THE MAGNIFICENT LABIA, labia as they exist in the MIND OF GOD. One hears of the American motto: “E Pluribus Unum” (that’s Latin for,”Out of the many, One”). Does the same apply, one wonders, to labia as well?
: T.T. Fonebone (11:51AM)
Wouldn’t that be the Lappers of the Luscious Labia of Lichtenstein? One supposes it is the Labia themselves rather than the Lappers which are luscious but, of course, I could be illegitimately importing my own reading into the group’s title. Did I ever mention that I have been to Vaduz, the capital? Very picturesque. Had I known of the Lappers at the time I would certainly have checked them out. I must keep them in mind for future reference.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
I stand corrected, good sir. Lappers of the Luscious Labia of Lichtenstein has a much better ring to it. I expect a CGI Peter Sellers will play all roles in the movie. Including the greyhounds and Ivan’s solider bookends.
Bleeding breeders!!
Move to the Annapolis Valley OP where the nearest house is half a kilometer away.
Sounds like none of the students in your dorm OB ,study anything but the best way to achieve orgasm. Which isn’t at all bad , better than fighting all the time.
Perhaps an old slogan fits here & you could follow its advice
Like – if you can’t beat them, join them- or perhaps…
Make love , not war . Or my personal favorite , practice makes perfect .
In closing I have to ask, have you considered using head phones with your music choices
op, your neighbours aren’t having loud sex – they’re watching women’s curling on tv
I’m sorry. I can’t hear you over the sound of my giant, throbbing erection