It is, indeed, that wonderful time of year again: summer (ok, almost)… time for us all to break out the shorts, tanks, skirts, t-shirts. Time for girls to go around wearing little to nothing (yes, I look… i do not leer, stare, or drool. I’ve never had a girl catch me looking yet, mostly because i AM a girl, so they never expect a glance), and for the most part, this is great.
The not so great part?
People who won’t bathe, shower, or perform ANY type of personal hygiene ritual.
Winter gives these lazy-asses some reprieve, due to heavier clothing, which SOMEWHAT manages to mask the scent of a gross, unwashed body, just like cold air does.
May I give a really strong reminder that SUMMER DOES NOT… Summer has warm-hot, stifling air, and there are days when there won’t be even a breeze. This makes even those who shower daily get a bit ripe before the day is out.
HOWEVER, there is a HUGE difference between a body that has gone through 6-8 hours of heat, and one that has gone through 2-7 days of it, and hasn’t felt the warm caress of water mixed with soap.
How do you know if you are one of the nasty ones?
1. You haven’t showered, bathed, or given yourself a really good wash that day. Or yesterday.
2. People around you are looking around, as in, “What the HELL is that stench???” or are just backing away.
3. Children start crying in your presence, and fruit starts to bruise.
Soap is REALLY cheap (available at the dollar store…hell, every public washroom has it!)… water, again, free.
Use it. For the love of GOD, please, use it. —Pleasepleasepleasebathe
This article appears in May 20-26, 2010.
wanna go nude swimming o.p.? i’ll let you look all you want. as long as i can ogle you too.
You tell ’em, BO is the worst! They should make deodorant mandatory on buses too!
I’m thinking that since the OP is a girl who is sneaking peaks at other girls (no mention of sneak-peaking at guys) then unless you are a girl, Lifesuckage, the skinny-dipping offer may be declined:)
I agree OP, as a girl who also sneaks peaks at girls, that personal hygiene for both genders is an utmost priority at all times but even more important in the hot weather.
I think its funny when women wear next to nothing in the summer but I cant understand why women wear black in the summer. I have always found women stink so bad in Halifax that it makes me sick.
Oh, it’s equally important for both genders. I was just pointing out the nicest aspects of the summer season 🙂
I also look at guys, but I like girls’ bodies more. Unless, of course, they stink.
I check out the guys too…eye candy is eye candy:)
Say what you want about the 80s; at least the “Me Decade” made hygiene fashionable again after the hippie era. Now armpit dreadlocks and the essence of patchouli and primate house aren’t just the products of laziness; they are political statements as well. Wait until public health officials start reporting a reappearance of urban diseases that were supposedly eradicated in North America over 100 years ago.
“Smash Capitalism – Get Cholera!”
Hold on, now – there are some people who shower or bath every day and still manage to smell like a drunken warthog rolling around in sheep shit by afternoon.
Then again, there are people who scrub their armpits with blue cheese and cloves.
Agreed, some people need to shower more often / better. What’s worse than plain ol’ stank is the folks who decide to try to cover it up with that Axe swill or fruity perfume shit. It doesn’t work! You still smell like shit AND on top of that you make my sinuses hurt.
Hello: this is the second time I’ve seen you mention that Hali ladies smell differently/worse than women in other parts of the world. I’ve smelled a lot of women (in Hali and in other places) and I can’t say there is an overwhelming trend of lady stank here. (Although it might be that the gay ladies take better care to wash). Maybe you are just smelling the harbour?
ah, the smell of nice long female pubic hair in the breeze, damn, i can just smell it now, woooooooo.
primate house…good one colonel, ties in with the bruised fruit reference ( funny op)
I loved the OP’s list of indicators, especially the bruised fruit. A beautiful, horrible mental picture.
“I’ve smelled a lot of women…”
that’s an odd statement… just needed to point that out.
and TTFN…
Can’t get your kids to leave home? start bathing with cheese.
Heh-heh-heh, zZz.
I hope the OP never has to travel in a busload of menopausal and post-menopausal women because no matter how much you fucking shower or bath, that ol’ hot flash sweat will still soak you in an odor that smells like decomposing wombats left to stew in a Chuck Taylor sneaker with a humpbacked skunk.
Yeah, there are some fairly gross people out there in summer. Muffin-tops must be in fashion from the looks of some of the women. And beer guts on guys, or are the guys pregnant?
And why do some fat people wear clingy materials that emphasize every cascading roll of saturated lard they have?
They’re dead sexy…. look at their sexay boday.
I do admit though… a non-black shirt should only be tight if everything under it is tight as well… otherwise it can look a little gelatinous…
black, you can get away with a little more.
There has to be an exception to pretty much ever rule.
Aww, they’d still look like a bowl of licorice jello.
i don’t get people stinking in the year 2010; there’s like a million products for de-stankifying and if anything most people i know are like anal about showering sometimes twice a day