We were dating for 4 1/2 years, and got engaged 6 months ago. You got a business degree last year and now you break the news to me that you accepted a job offer… in Toronto! Now you’re leaving me and starting a new life out there. I told you that I couldn’t afford to relocate, but you’re still going. On top of that, you break off our engagement. What the fuck! Couldn’t start your career here? Nope, you insisted the good jobs were too scarce here and you were willing to move. There are good jobs here, and *I’M* here! Why couldn’t you have stuck it out in NS until I saved enough money bagging people’s groceries for a living, and then I could move with you? I never felt for another woman the way I feel for you! I thought we were gonna get married and start a family. Almost 5 amazing years together and you want to throw it all away for a career in a big unfriendly city. Did our time together mean nothing to you?! Obviously money is more important to you than someone who has loved you and cared for you all these years. I wish I had known this about you earlier. —Man Left Behind
This article appears in Jan 26 – Feb 1, 2012.
Shitty deal. I hate to break it to you but it sounds like your lady was looking for a way out of this relationship and this was her ‘out’.
Yikes.
Now you know OP.
People grow up dude, they change. Maybe it’s not only the money she cares about… she’s spent the last few years earning a degree and is offered an opportunity to make something of herself. It is really tough to find good jobs here that will pay a decent salary. Can’t say I blame her for wanting to go out west. You should support her, suggest a short-term Long Distance Relationship and save up to go there. Don’t have such a defeatist mindset. Good luck.
OB…she forgot to leave a note- “thanks for the help getting through my school years. I’m off to make my fortune & find a bigger dick , love User
PS…I’m hocking the ring, I need cab fare for the airport rides “
More, you sound like a very bitter & jaded individual. Dude said they dated not that he financially supported her through school…he’s a grocery bag boy, I doubt she was using him for his money. I think she deserves some credit for following her dreams and career goals. Women have given up on their dreams for decades to rear children and support their husbands’ dreams. It’s about time women make this kind of decision for themselves. So many women give their best years to their husbands, sacrificing their dreams only to be left for a younger version once their husbands’ midlife crisis hits. You see it as selfish, I see it as smart.
I wish my GF said this. I’d drop everything and be out of halifax so fast. You can’t start a family or do anything without money, and your assuming toronto is unfriendly when it really is not. I think your making the mistake here not her.
No fool…where in this city do they still employ grocery bag boys ?
Everywhere i go , the cashier bags the groceries…unless its 10 items or less & you bag your own !
Its a shitty bitch, I gave it a shitty reply.
believe whatever you want to believe … So_fool…
I wish I had done the same back in my 20’s…
Man left behind, you are currently a BAG BITCH…. or so you state, so am sure whatever menial job you find in Tarrawna will be a step up!
Also, the 5 years were more amazing to you than her … didn’t see this coming 10 miles away? Communication problem? Where is the surprise?
On another note … second verse…..
I have a family member who talked about relocating to a larger centre after retirement to be close to the kids …. bought a $2M condo and when the time came to move his wife said……. “I am not going.” Duh, he said they talked about this for years……… she said, “No! You talked about it and not once did you ask me!”
Communication – without it there ain’t much left.
didn’t we do this bitch last year sometime? and the response will still be the same. dith them, you have better thingss to do and if they want cash over relationship, then let them have it.
glad you only spent 4 plus years out of your life to find out now. but still, that is a waste of time. if you were living together during this time, in the eyes of the law, you are married, and can go after support. or whatever. you also are entitled to half of everything other person has.
Sorry OP but you made no mention of her making any attempt to get you to Toronto with her. It sounds like she is making a clean start without you. Most couples would at least have a plan that the other one would arrive at a later date once the first person is settled. However, doesn’t appear to be the case here OP. Time to move on as it sounds like she already has.
Better now than in 10 years. Get drunk and fuck a couple of her best friends.
OP, you need to get the fuck over yourself.
This girl worked hard to get her degree and is now being offered a great job and it happens to be in Toronto. Fuck knows when she would be getting such a job here in NS. Why should she let that opportunity pass by and stay here (while working for crappy pay, most likely) just so YOUR needs are satisfied?
I know I, for one, would never let a great career opportunity pass me by for any man.
Maybe she didn’t want to start a family? Or maybe she wants a family later in life after she establishes a career and can easily afford it? You know, rather than bring a child into near-poverty, which is what she’d be doing to the poor kid living on your grocery-bagging wage.
Or maybe she felt she was better off without you because she clearly has more ambition than you, and frankly, can probably do better.
Great post, Mitten!!!
it sounds like she didn’t love you very much
again… there’s an icon to click on that portrays the sentiment….
just like the dislike button on your post….
*click*
i have given up on the almighty thumbs. it’s tough tho, like when mel or anyone posts an innocuous, amusing little line, and they get a dislike. down with thumbs haha
OB, you say you can’t afford to relocate … can’t you just sell your shit and move with her? If you were engaged and planning to marry, would she not attempt to hold things down financially while you found a job in Toronto? I’m sorry if this sounds crass, but bagging groceries is not exactly skilled employment that requires training and education … and if you’re doing that here, could you not do that in Toronto?
It sounds like you’re trying to control her … and then blaming her for the failure of the relationship when she doesn’t allow it.
I got no problem giving up the thumbs either painy…I don’t use them all that often anyway.
So are you suggesting that your girlfriend should have given up her job opportunity because you have a job in Halifax bagging groceries and thus you “can’t afford” to move? I’m sorry, but to be perfectly honest, you sound like a sad sack, which to me would be a huge turn-off regardless of your income level. How much does it cost to buy a Greyhound ticket, anyway?? You’re not going to get very far in life if you refuse to take any chances. Try being more spontaneous; you could always bag groceries in Toronto, too, you must realize. In fact, as a grocery bagger, you should be a hell of a lot MORE flexible in where you do that; it’s not as if you’d be leaving behind your own small business, or another well-established career. I was never so travel-ready as when I was working minimal-commitment jobs. Once I went to university, got my master’s and a good career, that was when travelling became moving became more of a challenge! And now that we have kids, it’s even harder because many places I’d like to see, I’d be too nervous to bring my kids there.
only when something is lol funny… or just plain stupid…
or sebastian.
which is redundant since I guess that falls in line with stupid…
West? Dude, she’s going to Toronto! Of course there was a time when I would have said the west coast was anywhere past New Glasgow. For you Op, Get drunk, find a strange piece and pull up your big boy pants anfd get over her. She’ll be back in a year anyway.
If you love her so much why not just take a chance and go with her? You wouldn’t be the first guy who got dumped because he was perfectly content to do nothing with his life.
I gave you a like PG 😛
Agree 100% with most of the comments on here. And OB, it’s not as simple as “career > love”. I would have done the exact same thing if I were her – she’s not being selfish, she’s being smart.
Now it’s time for you to be honest with yourself:
are you really not going to Toronto after “almost 5 amazing years together” because you’ve got a job bagging groceries and no $ to relocate??
Or are you just using that as an excuse because you’re scared of change and/or complacent with how things are?
She clearly isn’t happy with the way things are, otherwise she wouldn’t be leaving. And if she didn’t ask you to go to Toronto with her, she’s looking for a clean slate and a way out – probably far away from that defeatist, complacent attitude of yours.
Seriously. But if she did/does want you to go with her….what the hell are you waiting for? What have you got to lose? Oh, wait, that’s right – a job bagging groceries. As if there aren’t 1000s of those available in Toronto.
As for the lack of funds in the short term: I hate to encourage credit cards but if there was ever a time to use one, now would be it!!
If you don’t go after what you want, you’ve got no one to blame except yourself.
The bitchers here are more than ready to rub salt in your open wounds OP!
What is an engagement? Some sort of promise I believe.Certainly an insinuated one. So as early as six months ago, this lady accepts an engagement ring. That to me would mean after almost five years of being a couple, she is considering a life with you OP. Or so it would seem.
The truth is she lied to you and used you OP. While some my esteemed colleagues at LTWWB may try to make you feel like a zero, the fact is she’s the zero. You work hard for a living, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, she on the other hand…
Move to Toronto and find work there. Do you expect people to want to live their entire lives in Nova Scotia?
I sympathize with you, OB, but the simple fact is there AREN’T all these magical ‘good jobs’ around Nova Scotia. After working for her degree, I don’t blame her one bit for taking advantage of the opportunities and doors her degree opened.
Simple thing is this: it’s important for a woman to be independent these days. Look at the divorce rates! If you’re stuck here bagging groceries, it’s likely that she would have to be the main breadwinner anyway (you can’t raise kids on a grocery bagger’s salary — sorry), and maybe she just doesn’t want to support your ass? I know I wouldn’t be too keen on supporting another adult.
I’m sorry for You OB, and as an old romantic I say follow her anyway.If this is the woman you can’t live without then be at her side no matter what and never let go. Maybe that’s what she is waiting for. However, if this person is hurtful,neglectful,and doesn’t reciprocate these feelings than you are bettter off and go find some happiness!
Kamala. Vince McMahon once said that the soles of your feet were tough as shoe leather from stalking the African Jungles. Argle bargle, or fooferah?
you funny kamala…hay, is idi amin still alive? hmmm^^
See?! Women! All the same! Try dick.
Remember that famous love story movie where the woman goes to school for 4 years to get a degree and then becomes successful and falls in love with the grocery bagger and lives happily ever after? Wait! That has never happened.