A year later, do I feel emotionally different?
Some days I’d say yes, other no. Today the latter is true.
So sure, I’ve gone out and met new people, made new friends, got a new girl friend. But something about it all feels hollow, like I’m missing a part of me. Eventually, my mind comes back to you.
However, you couldn’t give two shits about me anymore. All the talk of “Lets stay friends” never panned out, and to an extent I feel lost without you. It was hard for me to move on because you were in my life for half the time I’ve been in Canada. Spent so much of my life moving around that I had never made strong emotional connections before then.
However, you seem happy with your life now.
I guess thats enough.
—Alone
This article appears in Nov 12-18, 2009.
Are these the lyrics to an emo song?
Respect yourself enough to know it’s over when you get “the friends” spiel. Don’t call them, don’t try to re-connect. Sure, it sucks. Grief, move on at your own pace, but it’s over.
maybe it’s your deoderant, or lack thereof, just saying, okay.
Girls are poopy. Let’s go throw rocks at them!
I always knew I had this effect on men 😉
Away and get a new tart ya dozy prick, get over it and get on with it!
You never stop loving the first one. Know that. Now move on.
I know the feeling OP, the ex will be on your mind from time to time for a long time to come. That said, she is an ex for a reason and you will realize that you will be happier long term on a new path. Your new g/f is probably aware of your thoughts and gets high marks for putting up with that. You don’t have to forget, but you do have to move on and allow yourself to enjoy your life in the now.
Good luck OP
btw some people say “lets stay friends” and actually follow through on it.
OP, I know you’re hurting.
One of the most miserable things in the world is to lose your first love. We all have one.
Eventually, you’ll meet somebody who really is right for you and you’ll be saying “Thank God that I didn’t end up in a loveless marriage with so-and-so from way back in 2009!”
It’s OK to hold on to the memory, but you still have to get out there and start doing stuff where you can meet interesting people.
If nothing else, you’ll be having a good time and hanging out with real friends instead of pining for the one that got away.
get it out and leave it out. A year’s quite a while to dwell there chico.
best to look forward rather than suffering the past all the damn time.
Kay – I certainly stopped loving the first one. *shudder* dodged a bullet there…..
jennier, it certainly is possible. Most people though just aren’t up for the paradigm shift required to make it work.
Would you like some cheese to go with that whine ?
Say something sharp like a kick in the ass, with a frozen pointy mukluk .
over 6 billion people on the planet & you whining about one of them you’ve been seperated from for over a year !
GET OVER IT.
Hence the phrase “grudge fuck”.
Move on! Halifax has never had such quality babes, so SURELY there is another one that you’d be somewhat interested in.
I stopped loving my first love when it was over…my second love is another story…je me souviens toujours cette homme extraordinaire…he still loves me too even though we have not been together for decades.
The Age-old question: Is it better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all?
Well, Oceanlady, that your decades old love is reciprocated makes it romantic (and sad, really). But, when only one of you hangs on for a lifetime, it can be creepy.
My first ‘love’ (relationship) showed up on my doorstep the day after his wedding to let me know that he still loved me. It was two years after I had broke up with him. Then, 12 years later, he drove hundreds of miles to arrive at my doorstep to tell me that he was there to take care of me and my children (he heard that I was going through a divorce). When I was firm with him, he seemed very surprised and disturbed to find that I was not the same person that he knew. On the other hand, outside of aging, he had not changed in any way. It was if his mind ceased to move past 1985.
OP: Be glad for the happiness that you had the opportunity to experience and move forward toward the happy experiences yet to come.
Lol, imagine the shock…open the door and he’s there with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and a “Choose Life” t-shirt…
If I was gonna get stuck in a year, I’d wait at LEAST until ’93…
Except, in 1985, he was way behind the times–try Waylon meets Homer Simpson = )
So, 1993?
Ahh yes, the pain of heartbreak – buddy I do feel and understand your pain (even though some heartless assholes here just choose to make heartless asshole comments instead!). I’m going through the same thing now, only at least it hasn’t been a whole year yet – I hope to fuck it won’t be that long. Truth be told though, you really do just need to move on with your life. You’ve probably been told that over a million times without much success, but perhaps you’re still not trying hard enough. Make that strong effort and tell yourself you will do it. Get rid of all photos and memories of her, everything! Burn them and damn them all to hell. Did she give you that underwear you’re wearing? Burn it NOW!
The next thing you need to do is get out there and get laid – doesn’t really matter what girl it is, she could be fat, ugly, old, whatever, you just need to have sex again. If you’re not a total weirdo or really ugly we could hit the Dome or Palace some time to try to get some honeys.
Really though, do you know what works for me, better than anything else? I’ve tried the exercising, getting hobbies, going out with friends, being with other girls, generally keeping myself busy, etc., EVERYTHING, and while all these things do help, I can honestly tell you that nothing is more therapeutic than posting 24/7 on LTWWB. This place is great. Thank you everyone.
This is also not a bad place to try to pick up babes (though LIFE SUCKS provides a bit of friendly competition), because I’m sure you’re all babes. Hey HKM, still have those handcuffs? My style is Screech from Saved by the Bell meets Cosmo Kramer from Seinfeld.
It is sad HKM. But not for the reason you may think. He suffered a brain injury in a non-at-fault motorcycle accident a number of decades ago when we were not quite 20. His recovery maxed out at about a 12 year old’s capacity. I never have been able to walk away from him, even though we reside in different provinces. I’ve kept in touch with him and will continue to. What was youthful passion has evolved into something more beautiful in a certain bittersweet way.
This is a tragic story in so many ways (it echos Jewel’s song, Adrian). You are a very loyal and compassionate person, Oceanlady.
“A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it’s you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.”
– Unknown
I just barfed all over my keyboard. Thanks bitches.
I don’t think I’ve heard Jewel’s Adrian. I’ll have to do that. What a lovely quote HKM.
Kay’s……not so much. BTW: We are bitchERs, not bitchEs. We are bitchers who submit bitches. The correct terminology makes all the difference.
Do you find correcting a fellow bitch’s terminology effective and satisfying or do you now realize how futile such a mission is, Oceanlady?
She was trying to help you not to look so ignorant, Kay (good luck with that). With such tips, you can improve your communication skills. As far as your insensitivity and crassness goes, no one can help you since you take such pleasure in being rude.
A bit sappy, Oceanlady, but sweet things generally are = )
A case of the pot calling the kettle black, I think. Amusing. Do not include me as a ‘fellow bitch’. You are alone in that self-reference. The rest of us are bitchERs, not bitchEs, something HKM and others easily differentiate.
OP reminds me of the song ‘Unanswered Prayers’ by Garth Brooks. Listen to it. Learn from it.
Tear Jerker Night!
He Stopped Loving Her Today ~ George Jones
virgomom, I was thinking Garth Brook’s, The Dance, when I read this post = )
“I just barfed all over my keyboard. Thanks bitches.”
Thats what you get for staring at your dick for hours on end.
Rude? Me? On LTWWB? Fuck off. You can’t be serious!
Yes. And it is called Love The Way We Bitch NOT Love The Way We ARE Bitches.
And one who bitches is called a….????? Lady, come on. Be a good bitch.
One who bitches is called bitcher. I could be as bad a bitch as ever there was but I choose not too:)
you typed through vomit? kudos for remembering the keys… unless you smeared them off first.
either way…. learn to hold your liquor.