I take my little one to various playgrounds every weekend and on occasion we come across those dangerous and venomous “slide climbers.” This particular species of child suffers from a condition called “bad manners” or also called “bad etiquette.” This condition if left untreated can result in more serious conditions as that child gets older such as down right “ignorance” or a “lack of common sense.” These conditions have been proven to be hereditary, but are treatable if caught at an early age. There are many signs of this condition, but one of the more distinct signs is “slide climbing.” If your child climbs the slide at the playground while other children are trying to use it for its intended purpose, you should immediately recognize this and begin treatment immediately. The first course of treatment involves acceptance of the fact that you, the parent, have not properly educated your child on how to behave properly. Next step is to buy your child his own slide and put it in your backyard so that other children are not subjected to the ignorance you have allowed to fester within your offspring. Once you have recognized and overcome your own inadequacies and then reprogrammed both yourself and your child, said child may then graduate to a public playground…under a probationary status, of course.
You, the female who was responsible for the two young boys wearing matching blue track suits at the west end playground on Saturday afternoon/evening…the first thing those obnoxious boys did when they got there was start running at the slide from a distance and climbing up while also jumping from one slide to another. Meanwhile there was a handful of kids waiting at the top of the slide wondering what zoo these animals escaped from and if they should run in the opposite direction or not. Not only that, these two boys proceeded to tell the children at the top of the slide not to go down the slide because they wanted to run up it!? This was when we, the other parents in attendance, realized the level of ignorance these kids had graduated to, and began to pity them. We, the other parents, were just counting the seconds ’til those two injured themselves or another child. I was about to climb the slide myself and go down it in repeated rapid fashion ’til they moved on to a more age appropriate activity like a sport or something, when one of them fell off and apparently broke his arm.
None of the other parents really reacted quickly because we all saw it coming and were waiting to see how long it would take you to notice. Of course you and your lady friend were clueless as to how it happened because you weren’t watching over them as you should have been. I hope the kid is OK, but sadly I know that his injury is probably the best thing that could have happened to him, you and the rest of us as well. Perhaps now you can both begin your re-programming.
We all liked to challenge ourselves when we were younger with a slide climb, but we knew to do it only when we were the only ones there. If your child can’t seem to differentiate between the two then teach them not to climb the slide….ever. It’s a simple enough concept, even for the most inept of parents. And if you can’t teach them, or can’t control them then don’t take them to public playgrounds.
On a side note, I am not looking for any advice, or comments on what I should have or could have done. But if you would like to share how you do or would handle it, go right ahead. People bitch to bitch or make a point or wake someone up…not to get advice from the peanut gallery. Thanks. —Just Go Down, He’ll Move or Learn a Lesson
This article appears in Sep 13-19, 2012.
Dear Concerned Mom: As you may or may not be aware some people have serious, even life threatening allergies. So,in future, I’ll thank you to not refer to us as “The Peanut Gallery” as this is degrading and trivializes a very serious issue.
-A Fellow Mother
The sproglets had probably overdosed on bacon and were in that state of ecstasy known as who gives a fiddlers fuck. West end, translation – welfare scum.
You know what the playground really teaches kids? Conflict resolution. I try to teach my kids to stand up for themselves, or come to me or a teacher if they think they need help. Otherwise…shitty people are everywhere, always. How are my kids gonna learn to deal with them as they grow up I I always get involved? I let that stuff work itself out. I think a broken arm is a pretty solid teaching tool for that poor kid, and the kids watching him be an ass
—–
re-programming
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Because going against the crowd is a BAD THING, right Comrade Stalin?
Fuck you and the other Good Moms who sat and did nothing but cluck and cluck when a child broke his arm.
Wp
The playground teaches us that children are our future – which is why we have to stop them NOW!
What with all the new safety measures enacted since I was a kid, I would have thought it neigh impossible to break an arm on a playground these days… isn’t everything bubble-wrapped?
Still, it’d be damn funny to watch a defiant, glorified monkey act like a ‘tard and bite the big one off the slide… until of course the crying starts. Then it’d just be annoying.
He needed it, hopefully he’ll learn… and this is speaking as a kid who cracked his wrist by improperly using the playground way-back-when.
Moregentaler, Morgentaler wherefore art thou Morgentaler.
Until we stop paying the Springer fans to fart out young offenders, Morgentaler will be nothing more than a cosmetic surgeon for lazy college girls and bored soccer moms.
OP, you sound just like the type of mother I avoid being like and around. Reading your bitch made me want to throat punch you. What kind of person doesn’t react quickly to a child in pain because they “saw it coming and were waiting to see how long it would take for you to notice”?! Disgusting. You punish a child because their parent was having a convo just like the rest of you talking shit about these kids in need of ” re-programming”? Take your oversized sunglasses, starbucks coffee, new outfit that you bought to be seen in at the playground and grocery store and get back into your minivan and drive off a cliff. Fuck.
You are what is wrong with people today, OP. It, ” takes a village to raise a child”, and if it’s clear that the child(ren) need some extra attention because they’re not receiving it as you described then as a decent human being we should provide that attention and care when possible so the child can at least feel like he/she has a community to turn to when and if it’s needed during their existence.
I still want to throat punch you.
http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-ca…
whatever sweetart.
I’m pretty sure more than one family won the america’s funniest home videos of the week for watching a kid fall off a slide.
HEREDITARY ACQUIRED TRAITS?
“These conditions have been proven to be hereditary, but are treatable if caught at an early age.” Just Go Down
One’s immediate response to this assertion, of course, is to ask Just Go Down to demonstrate such “proofs” of those “hereditary conditions.” As stated, the proposition is problematic. Certain initial distinctions must be made, principal among which is that between acquired and genetic hereditary conditions or, more properly, “traits.” I will use myself as an example.
In the case of hereditary genetic traits there can be no question that I have inherited my exceptional intelligence from my forebears. While never narrowly academic in their pursuits, they display considerable intelligence both in the practical problem-solving sense as well as in its reflective manifestations. It must be admitted that I tend to have inherited more of the second type, that of a deep reflective intelligence which is manifested in my stellar academic career in philosophy and subsequent ground-breaking publications in that field. I will let that stand as an example of inherited genetic traits, the transmission of which I firmly support. But, as I say, the issue of inherited acquired traits is more problematic.
I believe Just Go Down focuses primarily on proper behaviour as the exemplar of an inherited acquired trait. While I do pride myself on my correct deportment and even humility in my interaction with others, I can make no claim to rival my forebears in this regard. Their behaviour is impeccable. In fact my mother has been described as “regal” in her bearing, a claim that I can never make. Indeed, I have been known to display behaviour that at times might even be considered bawdy but which I see as just a good old bit of slap and tickle. In any case I think I can say without equivocation that I have not inherited my forbears’ sense of social decorum. I will let this stand as a counter-example of inherited acquired traits. Thank you very much for your patience and understanding.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
“It takes a village to raise a child.”
When the Ancient armies strolled through a town on the war path, the soldiers would sometimes have their way with the women folk. This led to many children whose fathers identity was a mystery, and also many orphaned children. The community would then participate in raising the child. This is thought to be the origin of the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child”.
If you were so say such to my face, I’d punch your cunt! Fuck off – they’re kids! Stupid women!
Yeah that’s true, zzz’s and usually you’d see people run to the child once they realize they’re hurt, not standing around, deciding not to help because their parents were slow to notice. The OP described a sceniro that obviously involved kids needing an extra eye on them, all I’m suggesting is we be that eye so the child will realize a sense of community one day because it’s seeming like they may need it.
The playground. One of the last bastions of childhood freedom and fun, (and sure, the odd scuffle or dispute). But like Furious Styles said above, that stuff almost always worked itself out. This is SUPPOSED to be a place where a kid can come and just be a kid. Play, have fun, burn off energy, get some exercise and socialize with their peers. But sadly, even this free-zone is being encroached upon by mothers like you who somehow want to throw etiquette into it?! What do you mean, ‘etiquette’? There is no etiquette for how to properly use the slide in a public playground, not back when I was a kid and not now. There were RULES and we were taught to SHARE but there was no ETIQUETTE. I remember jumping from the swings at full flight, some (what felt like) 10-12 feet in the air. I remember groups of us trying to run up the slide as groups of other kids were trying to come down. THAT was the fun in it. Sure, the odd kid would get banged up but, as was mentioned, we worked that stuff out amongst ourselves. “Maybe we should take turns. I’ll run up first and then you can slide down.”
You strike me as the kind of person who would lobby to have helmet laws in place for public parks with slides and monkey bars. (I’m surprised that hasn’t already been done to be honest). Your notion of playground ‘etiquette’ and ‘re-programming’, (bitch, please!), doesn’t belong on a public playground.
Look, I’m not saying you shouldn’t supervise your kids at a park. ABSOLUTELY you should. And the mother of these two rambunctious kids should have been keeping a closer eye on them too. No question. But unless they are causing damage, intentionally hurting or bullying other kids or doing something monumentally stupid, (full double gainers from the top of the monkey bars anyone?), then KEEP. THE. HELL. OUT. OF. IT!
Hopefully, the kid with the broken wing will be ok and learned a valuable life lesson about sharing and maybe some basic physics, (two bodies cannot occupy the same space at the same time or a body in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an outside force.) Maybe the mother learned to keep a closer eye on her kids, too. Hopefully you learned that not all ‘slide climbers’ are destined to a life of bad manners and ignorance.
Question with regards to bad manners/etiquette: You presumed to impart upon anyone reading your post that parents need to start recognizing the signs of bad manners and etiquette, lest their kids develop ignorance and a lack of common sense as they get older. Yet, by your own admission, you and the other parents, after witnessing this child fall and possibly break his arm, did nothing to immediately help. So, my question is, where was your common sense and good manners? What did you teach your kids by your by your inability, (unwillingness?) to react to this injured child? I suggest that before you start lecturing other parents about such things, you take a good, hard look at yourself first.
MM man again. You know what I bet people don’t even read your mindless drivel. I know I don’t. I check out the first line of each para and again, verbal diaherrea. Hope you don’t mind all the typing of your message for nuthing because if any are like me they just go on to the next message they can actually understand. You are a self absorbed asshole who couldn’t speak humanese if you had to!
go away *you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here*
yep, they really seem to be coming to the kids aid…
by not moving.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ys4SrJy4ZbE
Hey zZz. Completely off topic.
You up for a bike ride this evening? (That goes for anyone else on the bitch board with a motorcycle)
Supposed to be a half decent night so I figured I’d go for a ride. Not sure where yet.
Just extending the invitation.
Those two kids were thinking outside the box. They weren’t locked into your conformist views of what a slide should be used for. But by nature kids are stupid, I saw a kid at Cow’s Creamery in PEI push on a door with all his force for about 2 minutes and not once try pulling on it. Morals and common courtesy are something that must be taught to them by willing parents.
Tonight is supposed to be a fine night… the next few days, not so much.
I truly wish I could, but it’s out of commission having some clutch issues fixed.
I managed to score a cheap parts bike a few weeks ago so we’re busy part-swapping, etc.
If you do end up going, have a great ride.
With the leaves starting to turn, we’re in for some nice scenery.
PLAYGROUND INJURIES
“Surgeons at France’s Poissy-Saint-Germain-en-Laye hospital reported success in building new clitorises for victims of clitoridectomy.” (“Findings,” Harper’s Magazine, August, 2012)
I think we have a solution here for little girls who suffer catastrophic injuries while sliding unattended down playground slides or getting caught up in monkey bars.
I also think it might be the solution for older females like wogdog (09/18, 1:14PM) whose clitoris must be replaced owing to inactivity as a result of male repulsion at their ugliness and stupidity.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
avast0 – When & where?
OB – I would have asked the parent(s) to control their children(that would probably start a fight), then I’d send my kid down the slide “boots in the air”. As for the kid with the hurt arm, Karma seems to be starting early with this one.
Muntremoleman – Harper’s Magazine also says that you overestimate your abilities, you smell bad, and you’re going to die alone.
Cheerio!
Hugo – Just finishing up supper here right now. I haven’t really planned where to go. I’m flexible. Maybe Waverly Rd? Downtown? Where ever. Any suggestions?
MM: Leave it up to you, the fellow who pretends to be all that and superintelligent, who plays higgie jiggie with himself behind the keyboard to turn an innocent children’s playground post into something sexual. I thought that was only something pedophiles did? Hmmmm… wow… you just added a new dimension to yourself you sicko.
i know what you mean o.p., my grand daughter does it too. and i’m always after her not to do this. but the worst ones are the boys, they will climb like monkies, up to the top of anything, and the smaller ones think they can do it too. but get upset when they are told not to do it. is it unfair, maybe. but i’d rather be unfair than see my baby girl hurt, or any other smaller child.
to the people reading this, if your kids have this type of behaviour now, i pity you when they get older, and tell you to your face to just fuck off. my bubby would never say or do that to me, because she knows it is hurtful to people, and has better sense, even for a 5 year old. i’ll put a pic up later as my avatar.
he was talking about fgm, look it up leotard
You could have asked the boys to stop running up the slide and give the little ones a turn sliding down. Kids like to show off and etiquette is a bit beyond them. Too bad one of them had to get hurt and too bad your response to that was so underwhelming.
avast I will agree on the “work itself out” idea if the kids are all old enough to be there without their parents, and of like age, or if its a school playground during school hours at recess with just a few teachers and a huge number of kids. Of course if they are all old enough to be there without their parents then they shouldn’t be there anyway. And if you expect moms and dads to just sit there and let 6-10 year old’s boss around their 2-5 year old’s and totally take over the playground, you are outta your fucking mind. Also, jumping off the swing is totally different because that’s a solo deal. It’s not a reasonable comparison.
I agree with the OP for the most part. And we don’t know how long the OP and the other parents waited for the boy’s parent. It may have just been a second or two.
And teaching your children to be mindful of smaller children when playing and respectful of others, and as you stated “to share” is important. Much of that teaching comes while on the playground when you are “WATCHING” your kid and advising them AS they play and WHEN things happen.
Your views are archaic and old fashioned. Times have changed. And much of your manifesto only makes sense if ALL the children on the playground at that time are older and borderline too old to even be there.
And by doing what they were doing on the slide they WERE bullying the smaller kids. I think the OP made that quite obvious. Bullying is a big deal right now and no form of it is acceptable. “bullying” isn’t just getting in their face and hitting them or stealing their lunch money big guy.
As for the reaction time Sweetart, it’s hard to say without being there, but If its a 7 year old boy acting like an idiot, it might be alright to pause to make sure the lesson sinks in and also realize “hey where the fuck is my parental unit” before heading over to him. If its a younger child, yes you head right the fuck over there.
I also got the impression this was a Daddy and not a Mommy. Going down the slide to teach a little fucktard a lesson is more of a Daddy thing I think. Plus a dad has more of a “suck it up buttercup” attitude towards boys.
troo, sometimes a parent doesn’t want you trying to correct their spawn. other times they get real pissy at someone for even suggesting that the kids behaviour could get them or some other kid hurt.
i have seen this many times, taking my little one to the playground out here. she asks me why some kids do the things they do. i just tell her that they are stupid and their moms or dads don’t care about their safety, like i care about you.
i have seen a few near misses in the last 3 years, and the moms, were always busy on their fucking phones. grant you some hd a smoke, away from the kids, but most paid no attention whatever to their kids. if my baby hurt herself, i would be one at fault, for not properly supervising her, and was out for imminent danger. the saying of a village raising a kid is not all right. they sometimes raise a village idiot. then they get preggers and start spewing out the monthly cheques. to those inattentive people, i say do not have kids. they will hate you when they get older. all kids, need some kids of guidance and supervision, trust me.
Shaker, if my kids have a problem with other kids, they tell the other kids “hey I have a problem”. If that doesn’t resolve it they go to a teacher and explain. Pretty simple. If I was there to intercept every asshole kid in the park, that would not be how they handle it today. They are five and six. You seem like an aggro Dad who is never more than two feet from his kid, giving other kids the evil eye. His name probly Sawyer. I see that shit all the time. I bet your kid is soft, son.
RSVP
: wogdog (09/18, 7:22PM)
A little lesson in notational logic. It goes like this:
“If A, then B;
A, then B.”
However, “If A, then non-B” is inherently illogical and therefore incoherent. I know you’re having difficulty with this so I’ll explain:
A. “You know what I bet people don’t even read your mindless trivia. I know I don’t.” (wogdog, 09/18, 1:14PM)
Now,
B. “MM, leave it to you, etc. etc.” (wogdog, 09/18, 7:22PM)
Do you see it? In your second post you have blatantly contradicted your first. This is being mindlessly stupid. We already knew you were grotesquely ugly but this confirms your half-wit status. You bloody simpleton!
By the way, how’s your new clitoris?
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Guess what, OB? There are assholes in every aspect of life, and it’s your job as a parent to teach you kids how to recognize and deal with these unsavory characters. By being a passive aggressive bitch and standing around talking behind the parents back, doing absolutely nothing about the situation, you have taught your child that even things that directly relate to them is so.eone elses problem. Way to go douche!!! Raising yet another child that won’t say shit if it’s got a mouthfull cause they weren’t taught to respect themselves.
MM: 🙂
MM: Mission accomplished!!
avast0 – Sorry I missed you last night, thought I was too late responding & I was heading out the driveway about the same time that you posted.
Next time maybe.
This Sunday’s group ride is to several wineries for a bit of “sampling the grape” 😉 anyone care to join?
RSVP
: wogdog (09/19, 12:32 & 12:34PM)
Yes wogdog, I saw your grinning, brutalized and simian features and knew that it was indeed “Mission accomplished!”
But you must attempt to practise restraint. Try not to exhaust yourself.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Furious you have the same problem as the other twat. you are assuming all the kids were roughly the same age or at least as old as your kids. And the OB was talking about a WEEKEND visit which is usually just a handful of kids at any one time and a much wider variety of ages. Meaning there are parents with 2 and 3 year old toddlers and upwards to children even as old as yours show up occasionally when they can’t seem to find any sports to play for some reason. Have you never been to a playground on the weekend? That’s when all the kids who aren’t yet old enough to go to school hit the playground with their parents. What fucking planet are you on? That’s why the etiquette comes into play because there are more younger kids around on the weekend and pretty much every kid there at any one time has one or more parents just a few feet away to watch, control, guide them. Except for the odd fucktard with the worthless parents.
I got the impression that the OB has a younger child. People don’t generally call a 5-7 yr old a “little one”. That term is more commonly used with toddlers and pre-school aged kids. Myself, My daughter is 3 and of course she is never more than a few feet away from me. It won’t always be that way but for right now she’s 3 so it’s just part of the job. It only takes a split second to lose a child forever. When she is school aged and on the playground with dozens of crazy heathen-spawn every day with only a teacher or two to supervise then yes she will work some shit out on her own. But for now it is unrealistic to expect a toddler to walk up to a 6 yr old nitwit and tell them they have a problem with them.
Stephen Harper you are making a big assumption. The ob didn’t mention anything about talking or a conversation among the other parents. Only their delayed reaction. I know when my daughter and I go to the occasional playground, there is usually just that shared look of pity combined with disgust and disappointment when a parent or child go out of their way to make an ass of themselves or ruin the day for others. Or even if there had been some chatter its better than having your child traumatized by seeing their parents get attacked by some fuck-up of a parent who will also end up humiliating their own misguided spawn. You have plenty of time to teach a child to shake their fist at tyranny. It doesn’t need to start when they are toddlers when they will only understand the violence and not the meaning behind it.
“Furious you have the same problem as the other twat.”
So apparently I’m a TWAT now. Interesting.
No worries Hugo. I figured I was a little late in replying back to YOU, lol Next time for sure.
What’s the group ride? Which group? You still heading out on Sunday even though they’re calling for more rain?
Valley winery touring is a blast. Visited Mr. Luckett’s new establishment this summer. Absolutely stunning views. He was working behind the tasting bar. What a character. Hilarious! And the his wine is fantastic too.
Hmmmm motorcycle riding & winery tours to try out the different vintages .
What could go wrong !
Yes, your assumptions are much better than ours. Are you saying my kids should be playing sports, and that it is wrong to have them at the playground at that age? Are you an angry hockey dad? You do know most playground equipment has ‘ages 5 and up’ stamped on it, right? And avasto wasn’t being a twat, I was, when I assumed you have a shitty snot nosed whiney kid with no ability to compromise. A shared look of pity? Passive aggressive little bitches, all a ya.
xox http://funny-pictures-blog.com/wp-content/…
http://confessionsofacustomersalesassistan…
ok, this is pretty cute….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGlURmUBJdY…
Back at ya, zZz. lol
http://rlv.zcache.ca/you_dick_card-p137595…
ah well we can agree to disagree I guess. If I were in the OP’s position I probably would have said something to the kid in front of the parent and glared at the parent daring her to say something, preying common sense dawned on her, but I totally understand letting a punk kid and parent learn their necessary lessons on their own. It’s just a broken arm and he earned it so we can always “let that shit work itself out”. If that kid behaves that way on the weekend I shudder to think of the nightmare he is causing his teachers. And no there is nothing wrong with your boys going to a playground if they don’t act like challenged monkeys, but yes they should be playing sports whenever possible. I suppose that’s just my opinion but there it is.
And I made a few well educated guesses but I certainly didnt make any assumptions because I acknowledged the ideas of others and how they might work under their assumptions in addition to my own.
Point taken on the age labels they put on some of those playgrounds but anyone with half a brain knows those are pretty ridiculous because many mention the upper level at 12 yrs and no child anywhere near 12 years should ever be on one of those playgrounds unless they have a condition that causes them to behave half their age. somewhere around 6 or 7 years they should have already begun to gravitate towards more challenging pursuits.
And Furious, You go ahead and jump up in the face of every ignorant parent you see, unless you feel you are already being identified as such, and see how long you last. Picking a fight and/or causing drama doesn’t get you anywhere, especially with parents who don’t realize that their kids are troublemakers, and they as parents are contributing towards it. These are the same parents who think their kids can do no wrong and always point the finger at others, and blame the world for their bitter lot in life.
When your kids act like the kids the OP mentioned and some parents talk to your kid about being a fucktard, then will you still let your monkey learn his lesson appropriately as you seem so ready to do when they are bullying the other kids and taking over the playground while you smile with pride?
SHAKER’S “FEW WELL-EDUCATED GUESSES”
“And I made a few well-educated guesses but I certainly didn’t make any assumptions because I acknowledged the ideas of others and how they might work under their assumptions in addition to my own.” (shaker 524 (09/20, 6:59PM)
Two problems immediately crop up in connection with shaker’s rather dense explanation of her thought processes. First, just what exactly is the content of those “few well-educated guesses” and just what is their “educated” support? An entailed question, of course, relates to just where those well-educated guesses ended and her assumptions began. What’s the difference? What in the world is shaker talking about? I am sure I was not the only one mystified by these shadowy entities.
Secondly, shaker indicates that while, on the one hand, she possessed her own assumptions yet, on the other, she didn’t make any assumptions about the assumptions (“ideas”) of others. Could shaker explain just how her assumptions did not come into contact with the assumptions of others and just how those assumptions of others might work in addition to her own?
The issue here, of course, is the conflict of individual parental love for their children on the one hand and, on the other, acceptable behaviour or manners in interacion with others. In other words, what constitutes acceptable social behaviour. Could shaker give an account of such acceptable social behaviour without being tautological, i.e., without importing her own “well-educated guesses” and “assumptions” into the mix?
Line 5, 1st. paragraph: “praying” for “preying.”
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Hey! What?
I still play on playgrounds…
Who the hell are you to decide who can and can’t run amok?
Do prey tell which of these challenging pursuits I should be gravitating toward?
I’m dying to know since I’m apparently decades behind on a meaningful, average upbringing.
Let me get this straight. You nitpick about how children play (children are going to be crazy and stupid and insane. That’s what children do) and then snort snidely when one BREAKS A LIMB.
You madam are a fucking sociopath. Your kids are going to turn out to be little obnoxious nazis.