So we get it…. You own a dog and you like to take several pictures of your dog. Your Facebook profile is basically entirely dedicated to either your dog or canine related matter to the point where your own identity has been lost. You make no bones about the fact that you have no life outside of your dog and you are proud of that. As if our news feeds haven’t been bombarded enough by your nonsense, you are now blessing us with a daily picture of your mutt with a hashtag that indicates this will continue for the rest of the year. You don’t even have true maternal attachment to blame it on.. okay maybe I could cut you some slack if you carried the creature for 9 months and it expelled from your body. Actually, come to think of it, the parents (of humans) I have on Facebook behave much more modestly… and that is saying something because some of them are obnoxious! At least kids change their looks so if I have to be subjected to my friends’ sorry offspring I can at least pretend to like some kind of progress or milestone. Your dog isn’t a puppy though so what do you have to offer? A creative angle of her butt or a trillionth picture of her salivating? News flash: it’s not cute or artistic. You know what is beautiful though? The unfollow button. —The Dawg Unfollower
This article appears in Jan 12-18, 2017.
I totally agree with this bitch. I love animals but when a pet becomes your whole life, it’s sad. If your FB page is nothing but pix of your beloved fur buddy, then don’t be surprised if your FB pals start dropping like flies. Even sadder? The pet owners out there who proudly boast that they would save an animal long before they’d ever consider saving a human. You want seriously fucked? Then look no further than an obsessive pet mama/papa.
Then there’s the ‘boring as fuck’ factor – when pet owners hold their audience hostage with their endless ‘cute pet stories’. This not only makes my eyes glaze over but makes me wish for a water cannon to blow them off their fucking chair.
‘Oh, your kitty waved her left paw?? HOW THRILLING!!! Is it on YouTube yet?!’
I’m an obsessive pet daddy. And a daddy. Both my cat and my boys love me!
well dogs are better than cats…
Excuse my exasperated eyeroll if I don’t find your furbaby the most enthralling & adorable critter on multiple legs. I have had people hold me fucking hostage for hours with their insane amount of pet pix, cooing over every single one with a tedious story attached. It’s difficult to conjure up enthusiasm over someone else’s pet or kid when that’s all they can fucking talk about.
Doggone it, get off the facebook. Its a little ruff at first, but its the mutts nuts when your’re free and clear of all that nonsense.
Funny, I thought people could turn THEIR FB page into anything they wanted. I didn’t realize the intent behind Facebook was to make everyone else happy.
If you don’t like it, UNFOLLOW.
I stopped following over-the-top dog/cat addicts on Fartbook yonks ago as well as people who post a zillion pix of their drooling kids and/or grandkids. If you honestly think other people are enthralled with your pet/baby/selfies as you, then you’d better wake up and smell the napalm. If your followers are oooohing & ahhhhing, they are simply being polite. Your vomitorium of photos are only interesting to YOU.
So people are supposed to post things that OTHER people like on their social media? Well, fuck, I’m always the last to find these things out.
Social media is dumb as fuck!!!
People who call their animals furbabies or refer to themselves as an animals mom or dad are F*cking IDIOTS.
Dan-da-man, you’re my new favourite poster. Animal lovers are one thing – fanatical pet mamas determined to bore you with their 1,567 photos of kitty makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a soup spoon.
I swipe left whenever someone mentions their, “fur baby”.