To all you woman who have their knickers in a knot over the recent casting of an upcoming blockbuster which is based off of a certain steamy novel GET OVER IT! You want your complete re-enactment?? Then rent/buy/download the porn film that was made months after the books went viral which basically plays out the book scene by scene (for those of you who didn’t know about it….your welcome). I’m telling you right now a main stream blockbuster no matter WHO they cast will not live up to your expectations; plain and simple. Stop trying to make this book into something it’s not! It’s ok ladies it’s a porno in writing….sure it has more “fluff” but let’s be honest you didn’t pick it up for the “fluff” did ya? And if it was the “fluff” you enjoyed then by all means sit and wait for your blockbuster……… —XXX
This article appears in Sep 5-11, 2013.


What do you use Fluff for? I see jars of it in the grocery store. Is it whipped sugar or marshmellow? Icing? Just curious.
My issue with the whole ‘Fifty Shades of Shit’ trend – a woman being submissive to some fucking millionaire creeps me the fuck out and I can’t believe number of women who sucked up this shit like it was top notch Belgium chocolate. Then consider the hoards of men who couldn’t fulfill these S & M fantasies for their horny partner.
The movie will only underscore the stupidity of submissive women everywhere.
A minor semantic point OP. It’s only “porn” when it’s produced BY men, FOR men. When it’s produced BY wimmin, FOR wimmin, it then becomes elevated to “erotica”
Of course I heard this from someone taking Wimmin’s Studies 101 at SMU, so judge accordingly. *poit*
I’ve got my popcorn ready…bring it on.
jokes on you bitch, i don’t wear knickers
commando jane ^^ !
this 50 shades shit is recycled story of O. that was making the rounds (haha) when I was a tightie. I didn’t read that shit either.
anyone comes near me with a rope had better be prepared to loop it around his own neck.
Reg’s comment about Fluff got me thinking. Who here has ever nuked a jar of Nutella and drunk it with a straw?
boy ivan, I bet you are sure hoping someone, anyone, says they have too.
hahahahaha happy Friday!
2nd question: Anybody ever done that and topped it with a layer of Kahlua, Baileys and Grand Marnier?
IMO Most women take care of the children,have a career ,take care of the household and husband( sexually),etc…While being submissive during sex those females hand over the responsibility of actions during sex to the male,giving her one less ‘chore’ she feels she must complete.
This book isn’t going to live up to anything.
It’s terrible erotica and terrible literature. There are FAR better adult/romance/sex novels out there.
You’re a fool for seeing any quality in the 50 shades series
In fact, the only way they COULD save it or make a better story is by introducing cast members that would bring up the movie’s caliber or at least distract the audience from the obviously disgusting ideals being portrayed.
Seriously ladies? You guys think Mr. Gray is ‘aight?
Not worth reading then?If that’s any indication the movie will be horrible.
The actor chosen isn’t great looking..Oh well
There is much better porn than that steaming pile of shit available on the internet for free.
I prefer the original literature of the genre, The Fear Of Flying.
I’ll have to check it out when I’m on a porn friendly computer. Hope some of my fave stars are in it. Anybody check out the Flintstones parody with Brooke Adams as Betty? nice.
Honestly, it didn’t even read well. Poor writing.
crap, f of f wasn’t bloody porn, or even erotica. the ‘zipless fuck’ is unattainable. because we are human. incredible book. if actually READ.
Lamest book ever. I say “book” because I couldn’t bring myself to read the other two. I was amazed that this crap made it to “best seller” status. Poorly written, repetitive romps in the sack, and lacked substance. She had an orgasm from him sucking on her nipples? Really?? That book was 4 hours I’ll never get back
ummmm a nipple orgasm is possible.
yep
I also read it’s possible. ..Supposedly there are nerves joining the nipples and the clitoris.
Damn, I must explore this… Immediately lol
A younger buddy of mine tried to read it and couldn’t get through the ‘long finger’ descriptions which made, as she put it, her ovaries shrivel in horror.
Then she send me this from some website:
Christian Grey’s long fingers (and legs, but mostly fingers)
He extends a long-fingered hand to me once I’m upright.
… trailing his long index finger across his lips
His long index finger presses the button summoning the elevator…
“After you,” he murmurs, gesturing with his long-fingered, beautifully manicured hand.
He rubs his chin with his long index finger and thumb…
Dreaming of smoky gray eyes, coveralls, long legs, long fingers, and dark, dark unexplored places.
… Grey takes my hand, clasping it with his long cool fingers.
Once or twice he runs his long, graceful fingers through his now dry but still disorderly hair.
… he sits opposite me and crosses his long legs.
His long fingers deftly peel back the paper, and I watch, fascinated.
… between my thighs with his long fingered hands.
He has his elbows on the table, and his chin is resting on his long steepled fingers.
He climbs out of the car, walking with easy, long-legged grace…
Reaching up, he caresses my cheek, running his long fingers down to my chin…
He points his long index finger at one of the gauges…
I’m mesmerized watching his long skilled fingers…
He places his long legs over mine…
… massaging firmly with his long, strong fingers.
… he loosens the braid with his long, skilled fingers.
He places his long index finger over my mouth…
He smiles, and his long fingers reach down to collect an olive.
His long index finger absently traces the writing.
… as he starts to extend my nipples with his long fingers
Reaching over, he tucks my hair behind my ear with his long index finger.
He strokes his chin thoughtfully with his long, skilled fingers.
His long fingers stroke the length of my arm once he’s finished.
Again, his long fingers linger along my arm.
Now, guys, I laughed my ass off when I got this but now I feel just dirty. Eewwwwww!!!! I’d take those fingers and make this asshole poke himself repeatedly in the eyes a la Moe Howard. And the female character should be kicked in the ass globes for being such a dumb bunny schmuck.
The writer should be shot and shat upon for making so much money off this poorly written tripe.
Nurse Hezz- challenge accepted
the average iq is 97. I remind myself hourly. it helps.
I believe the relationship is between the nipples and uterine contractions.
Nurse, I think you know where to find me,if you want to.
It’s pretty simple. When these women are reading a book, they can pretend they have a man in bed with them instead of two cats. They can pretend they’re still young enough to breed. They can put themselves into the shoes of the protagonist a LOT more easily.
I guess its a bit harder when they see someone who isn’t them getting the action they’ve come to associate with themselves.
This is normally why people like porn in books but hate it in movies. Of course, i’m talking completely out of my ass here since i have never read this book and prefer the company of actual literature. Maybe i’ll revisit the possibility of reading the drivel when i hit menopause.
If you want to get off and are into submissive, insane chants, with rape fantasies thrown in, list to the SMU Frosh chant.
I’m menopausal, single and catless but Jesus after reading TT’s last comment about Grey’s long fingers, in the friggen garbage the book goes.If my Woman bits weren’t already shriveled up they would be after reading that crap…
FYI:
http://www.livescience.com/15380-nipples-g…
Who gives a shit about that horrible novel? This pretty much sums up my feelings on 50 Shades of Shit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o92hv7La9Sk
Thanx for the porn tip but women prefer our clit lit – we use words n’ shit. We’re intelligent like that.
But real talk, women just want a man to take charge, be into her, turn her on. If women are flockin to some dumb movie like their lives depend on it – they must be lacking this attention from their own men.
IS FEMALE PORNOGRAPHY POSSIBLE?
“Stop trying to make this book into something it’s not! It’s ok ladies it’s a porn in writing.” XXX
While it’s not clear just what XXX thinks the ladies are trying to make this book into he is clear, in his sub-literate manner, that it’s “a porn in writing.” But how is 50 Shades pornographic? I want to argue that not only is it not pornographic but, as it was written by a female, that it would be impossible to be pornographic.
To be pornographic requires the dominant theme of violence, particularly the violence inflicted by the male on the female. The female is turned into a slave, often literally “in bondage.” The essence of pornography is inspired by the unbridled male fantasies of power and dominance over the female. She is reduced to an object of male titillation and abuse. However, the pornographic sexual relationship is simply a perverted extension of the normal sexual relationship in which the active male acts upon the passive female. To put it crudely, the female is never the “fucker,” only the “fuckee.” This being the case, female pornography is impossible.
Far from being pornographic, 50 Shades amounts to little more than a morality play in which the heroine eventually triumphs over her own infatuation with Christian Grey, the anti-hero. In fact it could be titled, “Up From Sexual Slavery.” While extremely good-looking, wealthy and powerful – three qualities which turn on females in general – Grey is revealed at length to be sexually sadistic. He is the one who reduces the heroine to an object of sexual titillation and abuse. At first the heroine falls in with his plans. Her infatuation is reinforced by her successive orgasmic denotations as a result of Grey’s skillful ministrations. At length, however, she comes to realize the reality of her position and throws off the incubus of Grey’s total domination. She has become her own person. She has come “up from slavery.”
Not only is 50 Shades not pornographic, female pornography in general is impossible. The female, by her nature, is not obsessively violent in the same way and to the same extent as the male. She is a sexual realist and does not suffer from fantasies of domination and control. Since her role in reproduction is passive, receptive and accommodating, she lacks those necessary requirements which work to create pornography in the first place. Female pornography is therefore impossible.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
“To be pornographic requires the dominant theme of violence” – Wrong as usual. Are you really this stupid, or just trolling?
Just don’t tell me THAT I’m wrong, you buffoon. Tell me WHY I’m wrong. Explain it to us. Give reasons for your assertions. Otherwise it’s you who are the stupid one. Go ahead, do it now, you simpleton.
I don’t have to explain anything you pathetic disgusting little creep.
I suppose we should be grateful this thread went as far as it did before our aged lothario poked his, ummm poky bits into it. prepare for labia.
( I suspect he has loooong fingers)
Change the name of the post to 50 Ridings Going Red because DD is in for the biggest political rout in NS history. After the election, the Dippers will boot his arse and crown Mr. Steele as new leader.
In the mean time, get on your knees and thank the All Powerful, All Life Changing, Healing power of BACON and remember SWINE IS FINE!
RSVPS
: Hugo Phurst (09/07, 4:31PM)
As I suspected, you are unable to give reasons for your empty criticism of my claim that violence is the dominant – I would say definitive – theme of pornography. Obviously, you are without intellectual resources. Maybe if you Googled it you would gain a minimum of understanding but, on second thought, understanding of any sort for you is clearly alien territory.
: Good dog Molly (5:37PM)
I poked my poky bits into this thread? Does that make sense? While possibly quite painful, the imagery is still elusive. Now as far as labia go, well, that’s a different story. Perhaps you could help me out there.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
The post is about 50 Shades of Red and Nurse Hezz wants to explore the nipplegasm immediately. Well look no further since Biscuit is, as Brother Ivan de la Tour Fontaine says, a nice shade of Sierra Haze!
Let’s get buttery, Nursey!