[Image-1]
Why am I so shocked about the total lack of judgment, let alone common sense that theses men showed this week. Did they not think using social media would take their bad behavior to the media? How can they make it to the fourth year being so stupid.
The real message is the university has let down their female population.
Would you want to sit in these men’s dentist chair? I wouldn’t…. —Expel their asses!
This article appears in Dec 18-24, 2014.
Orientation week my first year, Rod Shoveller, the head of athletics at the college I attended, gave what was probably his standard speech in which he produced an overlarge diaper pin and reminded us that it was something we had left behind a long time ago. And in the full arrogance of a first year student I thought “Who does this clown think he is?” I’d like to say I eventually had an instant epiphany about what he meant, but sadly , the process was a lot more gradual and extended beyond graduation. I can look back now and recognize that he was paying us the compliment of considering us to be adults, with all the expectations and responsibilities that come with it. And recognize that some of my conduct back then, makes me want crawl up my own ass and die of embarrassment.
So what exactly is it we about the “Gentlemen” in question that inspires such revulsion and fear? Is it true malevolence, an arrested threat, gross stupidity, painfully unfunny shock humour.? I honestly do not know. I do not buy the “boys will be boys” argument yet anybody who has ever laughed aloud at Lenny Bruce, or Sam Kinison, or Denis Leary knows full well that humour is not about being comfortable. And young people in groups rarely indulge in high brow humour. And no, I’m not dismissing this as just a bunch of dicks trying to be funny. But I am trying to parse it in terms that correlate to my own life experience.
And what I see right now, is the mob, replete with torch and pitchforks baying for a blood reckoning for the crime of having thoughts and expressing them. Not actually perpetrating the repugnant acts which they yukked it up about. And that doesn’t seem right, either. So, I really don’t know what is to be done with the dental school jackasses. Branding, public flogging, expulsion, exile, a craven apology. Apologize not so much for being a fuckwit but for getting called on it. 15 minutes in a boxing ring with the Father, or Brother, or Boyfriend of one of the women they named. I really don’t know. Is career ruination a proportionate price for humiliating somebody? Will it make them better people. Will it make us “safer”? Again, I have no answers
At my college, back in the day the engineering faculty of the neighboring university would pick a night in early autumn when their freshmen, pissed as newts and smeared from head to foot in mud and shit and cooking oil would try to batter down the doors of the Women’s residence – for what purpose? Tea? Conversation? Macrame? Rape? Stupid, pointless, destructive, juvenile, yet when driving on a highway, crossing a a bridge or entering a building, not once do I question whether or not it may have been designed by one of those assholes. I also know of reasonably successful local lawyer who used to regularly beat up his girlfriend and I wouldn’t piss in his face if his nose hairs were on fire. I know of doctor whose conduct and opinions in medical school were those of a sexual predator and I wouldn’t let him near anybody that I cared about.
I’m not trying to be irreverent and I’m not trying to minimize either this incident or it’s short and long term effect. I’m simply trying to understand. Thanks for reading and all input is welcome.
whatever happens dal dentistry has a dark cloud over it, but putting the onus on the women to decide the punishment is a chicken shit move
…and nice post commander
WHAT IS JUSTICE?
To attempt any response to the issue of the male dentistry students slandering their female counterparts on Facebook requires some reflection on the nature of justice in general and its application to the present case. So, what is justice?
Traditionally, justice comes in three broad philosophical categories each with their own criteria of application. Since it involves the fair distribution of a society’s wealth among the members of any poility, distributive justice has no purchase on the present case which does not embody extreme economic disparities. Indeed both parties, if not now then shortly, are to be found at the upper limits of economic prosperity.
While the majority of Canadians might approve of exemplary or punitive justice – capital punishment for capital offences – it is not presently within the powers of law to impose it. There can be no doubt that while exemplary justice in the present case – immediate expulsion – would be emotionally gratifying for many, it does not meet the criteria of rational current judicial principles. Nothing would be served by their expulsion.
The President of Dalhousie has recommended the third approach, restorative or reconciliatory justice but one wonders if his particular application of the principle embodies appropriate judicial balance. Such a form of justice smacks of some sort of “Truth and Reconciliation” commission but guilt in such cases is, if not equally shared, then open to interpretive scrutiny. But of what, one wonders, have the female students been guilty? Nothing, except being female.
The issue, it seems to me, boils down to one of slander-without-cause and should be treated as such. The onus, as a result, falls completely on the shoulders of the male dentistry students but in what form should recompense be made? It must be public and seen to be so. In a court of public opinion, here in the form of a jury of their peers, the offending students must offer their honest contrition. Their peers are not stupid. They know who is being honest and who, if any, is not. Failure to evince honest contrition should only then result in expulsion but, those caught up in the “spirit of the moment,” must not have their lives ruined.
Coincidentally, a very apropos avatar today!
Avatar #109: THE GRADUATE
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
I was shocked by two things:
1. The invention of The Halifax Thought-Police Department; and
2. The demand for lynch mob justice.
Otherwise, I have nothing else to say…
mod – are my comments too long? why the disappearing act?
email me the post, i’d love to read it
Roger that, Moderator. Bad Dog Molly always has interesting, thought provoking and well thought out arguments to make. I didn’t get to read it and I wanted to.
I don’t think they should be expelled, BUT, they did engage in professional misconduct and as such, potential patients have a right to be informed of this. I think a database where you can look up these documented and investigated acts of misconduct (but both students and practicing professionals) should be implemented by the professional licensing body.
I won’t go to these dentists for the simple fact that they felt entitled enough to make such comments without any clue of how wrong and inappropriate it was. If they hadn’t learned this at their age/level of education, I really have no sympathy for them when they have to face consequence of their actions. We’re not talking about 14 year old kids here – these are grown ass men in a health profession and should have the maturity and common sense to know better. If releasing their names hurts their professional career? Well, too bad. They made the decision to do what they did.
And WTF, mod? I doubt Molly’s post was enough to warrant deletion.
I understand this is not a public form and this site is owned by The Coast, but this type of moderation is just over the top and quite frankly, fucking ridiculous.
Excellent post, Ivan. There’ll be a whole bunch of men that if asked to comment on this will deplore the conduct of these dental students…and will conveniently forget the fact that the large majority of us males behaved equally badly when in high school or at university, or even once in the workforce. Although most us grew out of it once we were in the workforce, and got married etc etc. Or we sort of grew out of it…women amongst themselves, at any age, crack some pretty bad jokes about men, or dish out some fervent vitriol…and adult males amongst their own are no different.
Out of the dozen or so idiots that were in fact stupid enough to post thoughts that almost every young adult male has had from time to time, on FaceBook, I’m guessing that there were a couple of ringleaders that deserve a closer look, and possible expulsion. The rest of them were just retarded and naive enough to participate, and I’m guessing the scrutiny they are getting right now made them grow up real fast. I can’t see that expulsion or shaming of all of them serves any useful purpose, and I find it highly doubtful that any of this group were actually contemplating doing anything but making lowbrow or hateful or poor comments.
And Pretty &%*$#! Kitty (quite ironic that you use that nick when commenting on sexual harassment) you are missing the point. Presumably most of the males in DDS 2015 are relatively mature: I don’t know the size of the class enrollment, so I don’t what percentage of the whole these dozen or so guys represent. But you’re sadly deluded if you think that a lot of university students – whether undergrads or grads – are ‘grown ass”…a lot of them haven’t even experienced real life yet.
If you ask someone who HAS been sexually assaulted by their dentist while incapacitated with nitrous oxide they will tell you that it is horribly traumatic.
If you ask that person how they feel about the possibilty of having one of the DDS Gentlemen as their dentist they will tell you that it is absolutely terrifying.
Since there is no way of knowing if one of these so-called Gentlemen could potentially be one’s dentist the only solution is expulsion.
Pretty ‘MONSTERCOCK5000’ Kitty — Concur: “If releasing their names hurts their professional career? Well, too bad. They made the decision to do what they did.”
Ivan Sonofabitch — Excellent post: “I do not buy the “boys will be boys” argument yet anybody who has ever laughed aloud at Lenny Bruce, or Sam Kinison, or Denis Leary knows full well that humour is not about being comfortable.”
Realist in Dartmouth — Standing ovation:
1. “[men] will conveniently forget the fact that the large majority of us males behaved equally badly when in high school or at university, or even once in the workforce.”
2. “women amongst themselves, at any age, crack some pretty bad jokes about men”
3. “I’m guessing that there were a couple of ringleaders that deserve a closer look, and possible expulsion. The rest of them were just retarded and naive enough to participate … “
I have made absolutely horrendous “jokes” over my lifetime that I too would be horrified to have repeated back to me in a public forum. I still proudly prattle off my Helen Keller jokes. Do I “mean” anything by it? Absolutely not … and yet, I still split a gut over Kinison and Carlin; etal. I didn’t invent this shit, but I do have the lack of “class” to laugh at it. But, I will not be so dimwitted as to publish this idiocy in a public forum.
What are they guilty of? Stupidity primarily … at least one would hope anyways. Regardless, they have self-identified as irresponsible and should accept the proscribed punishment and move on.
Epic fail that this is, we should put the pitch forks away and remain ever vigilant for future displays of “anti-social” behaviour and firmly address. If you can’t smoke it, nip it in the bud I say.
I have dental procedures done under nitrous. For the record, you are entirely conscious and aware of what is going on. I thought the opposite too until I had some work done while “under it” the first time. The gas was at 7 out of 8. Let me assure you you hear things like “pass the bone file”. You are awake. Conscious. Aware. You are in no way incapacitated.
So boys will boys then, Realist. Gotcha. I never joked about sedating women. Damn sure didn’t do it while learning how to professionally sedate women
Good Morning, and thank you all for your superb insights. So many valid points to consider. I am most grateful
And, Moderator. How about you use a little noblesse oblige and resurrect BadDogMolly’s comment from whatever Purgatorio to which you dispatched it.
It is, after all, Christmas.
I have commented in other places that very good men can have some very strange thoughts, images, fantasies. there they stay, as thoughts. sometimes I think it spooks those good men, those fleeting images and thoughts. they question their own morality, sometimes their sanity. I believe that’s what slides those men to the good side of the balance beam.
those who do not wonder at the sometimes macabre workings of their brains can shuffle to the other side thank you. and then there are those that glory in displaying their creepy thoughts. shock value? sure, but that is so juvenile. which is its own (but not act-out violent) immaturity. I knew a fellow who would make ‘jokes’ about raping babies til their bones cracked. he watched for your reaction. he was an extremely insecure person hauling a freight train of anxiety – but would he harm one hair on any babies head? no. but his insecurities made him a very difficult person to be around. I wouldn’t put him on the ‘good guy’ side even though he would never harm anyone.
some men use these displays of bluster like monkey do – hooting loudly to establish their own maleness. I think these are the locker room towel snappers and braggers of ‘doing yo momma’. a lot of men seem to fall into this category – I think our current society for past couple hundred years encourages this and teaches young boys that this is a pretty good behaviour.
then we have men who actually hate women. straight men. something in their brains, I think its a touch of sociopathy, rails at the unfairness of needing women. these men have sexual urges that are dependant on the cooperation of women. and that, to these men, is so grossly unfair. this breeds hatred, contempt. the joke ‘what is the definition of a women? life support system for a c*nt’ is what they believe. how dare women have independent thought. if you want a cheeseburger you go buy one or make it. if you want a beer, crack it open. you want to get your rocks off? find a bitch, pay thru the nose for dinner, smile at her stupid comments, pet her fucking cat and even then she may turn away at the last moment just because your armpits smell, or you have holey underwear, or maybe she caught that glare you were giving her when her back was turned and she freaked out. how DARE she!
all the ranting and raving about womens expectations of men, and how they are stifling natural male behaviour, castrating them emotionally, feminazis under every bed comes down to that great divide between the extremes of male and female. I believe there is a widening gulf now, and it is dragging in good men. men have a biological need to bond/group with each other. heck, put it down to the need to gang up on wooly mammoths
so the vocal extreme is capturing some good men by appealing to their manhood and the threat of castrating feminism.
I don’t think the other side works the same way. women do not bond to each other the way men do. women are in competition with other women for a man to breed with and to take care of her and children. (cave man influences) you may have the most extreme of feminists with libraries of injustices catalogued, displayed, proven. but their strongest opposition is from other women. women who want to mate. women who do not want to ruin their chances of getting a male. women seem to bond when they get older. the crones. breeding time is past and they can relax. enjoy the company of women. we may have the veneer of the electronic age, birth control, careers, but we are still operator from unconscious urges that were in place for thousands of years before Snapple.
my 2 cents.
( by the way, I think whoever posted the chloroform/hate fuck posts on the FB page belong to the almost-sociopath group. the ones who nervously laughed about it would just be monkey hooters. not all men laugh at those things you know. my brother, my son and one of my ex husbands usually just leave the room.
I re-submitted with an asterisk (means asshole in Vonnegut) in one word and it got thru. perhaps they are using a word ‘bot. first paragraph is still missing but that was my error. something about a guys comments on another site that said ‘this certainly reveals how little women know about the way men’s minds work’
meaty-frog, nitrous doesn’t incapacitate physically. yes you remain aware, you just don’t care. ‘hey, you’re sawing my leg off? hahahahaha’ . so it’s semantics.
and….. lenny bruce, carlin, rivers et al are satire. they haul up all our dark, disturbing assumptions, stereotypes, extremes, fringes and smack us in the face with them. comedians like that are not ‘male bonding’, they are challenging themselves and us. ‘look at yourselves as I hold up this mirror that shows all your warts and slime LOOK! do you like what you see? does it make you uncomfortable?’ rivers with her bitch queen routine, satirizing all princess bitch trivial clique varnished and procedure’d mannequins.
carlins hippy dippy weather man ‘ I see a flock of icbm’s headed this way so I wouldn’t sweat the thunderstorms’ . does that mean he thinks death by nuclear war is funny? lol. nope. he’s demonstrating how we live with such a terrifying threat every day (well, we did back then, we seem to have totally forgotten it now) and manage to make it ho-hum. he, the real person, would have preferred we all get out there and dismantle the siloes. what can you do? make black humour.
I think like any ‘intelligent’ humour, those who laugh fall into two categories. the intelligent, who see the satire and laugh because of it (and their own part in the human condition that produces this) and then the less intelligent, who are guffawing at the situation presented. (usually because someone is being humiliated or harmed)
Excellent posts Bad dog–thanks for taking the time to repost.
HF: incapicitated does not mean unconscious.
If nitrous oxide has no effect on patients, then why bother using it as a tool of dentistry at all?
What exactly are you trying to articulate? That because she is still conscious no male dentist would ever dare to sexually assault a female patient?
Pfffft!
Errr, Furious “Roadblock” Styles, I don’t believe *I* ever joked about sedating anyone – male or female – and taking liberties with them while they were incapacitated. I’m in my 50’s, I happen to be happily married, most of my relationships prior to marriage were good or very good or OK – pretty much like the average person. If you need Rohypnol or chloroform or chloral hydrate or booze+pills to knock out your target/companion so you can satisfy yourself, you should be shot or put away.
@Bad Dog Molly: great comments. You’re absolutely right about the great comedians. Not just the ones you mention, there are dozens of them. The ones that are, or have been (before they died) excellent, made you *uncomfortable* while you were laughing. Because it was all true. Whether they dissected racism, or male-female relationships, or politics, you sat back and laughed because you realized that a lot of that was how you yourself thought, but didn’t have the bones to say out loud.
Sometimes, Molly – and I am sure this has occurred to quite a few people – you have thoughts so private that you couldn’t even talk about them to a best friend. You’re absolutely right – it’s a good bet that a lot of normal, well-adjusted men have had private thoughts about forcibly taking a sexy teenager. After all, over the millennia soldiers have often done this during wars and conflicts, so it’s somehow embedded in the male brain – spread the genes, perhaps. And how many women harbour rape fantasies – or have actually at least once in their life indulged in fake rapes – I suspect it’s quite a few. Why do I suspect this? Because I’m in my 50’s, and I’ve met a fair few women, and unless I am somehow attracting a unique crowd of females, a lot of them like it rough.
I remember friends of mine from high school, and myself. When we were in HS: 17-18 years old – we used to lust after the 15-16 year old hotties. And it was OK to do that. But once you finished uni and entered the work force, it became anathema to admire a sexy teenager – even though these days the majority of female celebrities achieve their fame by displaying T&A. 90 percent of men that drive by a high school during late spring or early summer will fervently deny that they scoped out a hot 16 year-old…and 90 percent of men actually do it. This is another thing that even adult men are uncomfortable talking about, friend to friend even. Because you have your own kids, or friends have kids etc, so what you admired a scant 5 or 10 years ago is now suddenly off limits. But is it any coincidence that a great deal of porn involves simulated forcible sex, or sex with girls that are purportedly 18 years old but come from Eastern Europe so you know damn well that they are like 15. And a shitload of people – not just men, but women – watch it. And they’ll never admit it. But the best comedians reveal this stuff.
I think there are not very many men that are sociopathic to the extent that they don’t care about the women in their lives: wife, girlfriend, sisters, grandmothers, nieces, cousins, aunts, female co-workers. There is a small percentage that is f**ked up, but who’s to say that that is a larger percentage than messed-up women?
**incapAcitated**
humans have a disconnect switch that can get in the way of decency. some men can have protective urges towards *their* wives, mothers, daughters, sisters but outside the family, it’s all meat. that ‘whore/madonna’ thing.
some women can lavish their maternal wealth on their own, but consider starving orphans ‘vermin’.
I think human males are driven to mate with newly fertile females. newly fertile females are driven to engage with well established males. our biology plays havoc with male teachers of grade 10 classes.
not quite in humour – consider stereotyped homosexual couples’ behaviour as a primo demonstration of the difference between the sexes.
(realist, one has to know the history behind kitty’s moniker to understand the satire in it)
I’m HingFrogg, BDM! Long-time reader; newbie commentor.
Mr. Meaty and his ghost were both decimated… RIP Meaty-I hardly knew ya’!
In reference to your conment on not caring whilst NO2’d, when you hear, “pass the bone file”, YOU CARE! And the dentist knew I cared, let me assure you!
Again, I am speaking from many, many personal experiences.
Molly, you make a great point: I have A LOT of males in my life – most of my friends are male and my dad and I have a close father-daughter relationship. Ask any one of my male friends and they’ll tell you they see me as ‘one of the guys,’ and dad has a pretty inappropriate, unfiltered sense of humour, and not ONCE have I heard ANY of the males in my life make rape jokes and in fact, every single one of them have expressed the fact that those types of jokes sicken them. I have one friend who is so widely inappropriate in his sense of humour that most people would find him offensive, but has been the first to say ‘that shit’s not ok.’ And on top of that, unlike random jokes about women in general, actual women were identified – there are *actual* *real* victims here. And what the apologists don’t seem to get is: these aren’t ‘just jokes,’ there are *actual* *real* women here who have been violated. I have been sexually harassed at work (happened when I was 24 while I was working for the government – an employee in a different department, 35 years my senior, sought out my cubicle and would visit daily to attempt to give me neck rubs and ask me to go on my break with him after I expressed my discomfort in the situation after I told him clearly: no – I was petrified because I had to walk past his office on the main floor to get to the elevators every day. And you know what? When I told the male family member I was living with, they laughed about it – thought it was hilarious and gave the guy a nickname – if these apologists think they’re doing anything different than my male family member, think again) and it was scary and violating and something I’ll never forget.
So anyone defending these jokes as ‘boys being boys’ (cue Realist), is out of their fucking minds if they actually believe this type of ‘joking’ is acceptable (because being an apologist towards these types of jokes and those who engage in this type of humour is really saying ‘this type of behaviour is ok’).
WHAT IS JUSTICE? (II) THE SYMPOSIUM
In my “What is Justice?” (12/20, 4:15PM) I made the point that the “12 Stupid Students” case is best resolved by restorative or conciliatory justice in which they would be judged by “a jury of their peers.” Such a process, I maintained, “must be public and seen to be so.” However, I think the structure of that process was under-developed. Herewith a more sophisticated attempt.
Two steps are envisaged: (1) Each of the “12 Stupid Students” must submit a written “explanation” of their actions, insofar as that is possible. This would be assessed by that jury of their peers in order to assess the degree to which their contrition was contrived or genuine. It would form the basis of the Symposium.
(2) On the basis of that written “explanation,” each would be required to give what used to be called a “Viva Voce” (“Live Voice”) but now called a “Symposium.” This is the (Ph.D.) thesis defence where the candidate is required to field questions from anyone, professors, other students and even those citizens who walk in off the street. I recall my own at the University of Ottawa. There was a full house, about 50 people in attendance. It was a consciousness-raising experience. In the present case, the targeted females could be part of the audience to cross-examine each of the “12.” If nothing else, it would be a consciousness-raising experience for the “12” as well.
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
Pretty Kitty, don’t make facile assumptions. You know nothing about me. My wife was beaten up by two previous long-term boyfriends, had her nose broke, one arm broken, lost a child because of stomach kicks and punches, and was repeatedly threatened by both that if she didn’t stay they’d hunt her down and kill her. That’s way past the kind of harassment you or the OP are talking about. We’ve been married for a long time and she doesn’t get that treatment from me: if I saw or heard about a guy doing that, and it was personal, I believe I’d skip the police and pay an individual visit.
I believe I mentioned (pretty clearly) at least once – if not twice or thrice – in several threads about this topic that I believe that (1) the students in question are all deserving of some form of censure, and (2) that perhaps some of them deserve expulsion. Where is this “boys being boys” crap coming from, though? I’m not going to demonize a dozen or so people out of hand when it’s still not clear as to who is genuinely a bad apple and who was just stupid….but certainly a bunch of folks are obviously avid for a witch hunt. I guess some people have never heard of due process…although they’d dearly like it if they themselves screwed up.
“Pass the bone file,” said HF’s dentist.
“I’ll be sexually assaulting you now miss,” said no predatory dentist EVER.
Totally different situation, one a part of the procedure.
The other a gross violation of professional trust and criminal behaviour.
HF must be a male.
RiD said: “And how many women harbour rape fantasies – or have actually at least once in their life indulged in fake rapes – I suspect it’s quite a few. Why do I suspect this? Because I’m in my 50’s, and I’ve met a fair few women, and unless I am somehow attracting a unique crowd of females, a lot of them like it rough.”
Typical male thinking.
The rape apologists are lining up to justify predatory behaviour.
The difference between RiD’s women and an actual sexual assault victim is the “c” word. You know the one. “Consent.”
And this gem from RiD: “- it’s a good bet that a lot of normal, well-adjusted men have had private thoughts about forcibly taking a sexy teenager. After all, over the millennia soldiers have often done this during wars and conflicts, so it’s somehow embedded in the male brain – spread the genes, perhaps.”
OMG. Just OMG.
What kind of seriously fucked up thinking is this?
Oceanchick, looking at it from a different angle, aren’t you looking for every excuse to defend your own beliefs, as faulty as they may be? “rape apologists”? Was there an actual rape, or was it just juvenile fantasy on a FB page? “Predatory behaviour?” Excuse me – I missed that part…I hadn’t read in any news reports that these idiots were stalking or even actively confronting any females…last I heard is that they called out a few women on a FB page. If you’re privy to any details that the general public does not know, please do tell.
As to my last post that you went OMG over, #1 read a lot of history books, and maybe read some modern history in particular, and #2 please don’t be so purposely naive and indignant. I guess you yourself have never indulged in pornography or ogled hottie males…good on you.
Using your logic war history includes a lot of killing as well as rape. So according to your thinking, men, who are now evolved to be hard-wired to rape fantasies, also fantasize about killing women too. Riiiiiiight. Sure, bub. I assume you speak for yourself and not the male population, many of whom I know do NOT think like this.
I have more respect for people to ogle anyone. This is not to be confused with admiring the human form in any of it’s forms of beauty, male or female, but with discretion. And without fantasies of forcing myself upon them because of war history “hard-wiring.”
My original post was about an actual event regarding a practicing dentist and its effect upon a particular woman. This actual dentist did what the Dal dental
students openly and publicly posted on gtheir fb page.
The Dal students are NOT juveniles. They are adults aspiring to work with the public in a capacity of trust and professionalism. They have proven themselves unfit by the choice of their own actions.
realist, lay off that shovel, you are just digging yourself in deeper. no, I do not believe that “a lot of normal, well-adjusted men have had private thoughts about forcibly taking a sexy teenager. After all, over the millennia soldiers have often done this during wars and conflicts, so it’s somehow embedded in the male brain”
good grief – listen to yourself. forcibly??? I believe most normal, well adjusted men have fantasies about a sexy teenager magically appearing in his bedroom at night, clad in diaphanous nightie and prepared to slobber over all his body parts, but FORCIBLY? um. no.
you see, the sexual part and the brutality part are two different things. they are not meant to be engaged in together. and just because some men in war use the sexual act to brutalize the ‘enemy’ does not mean the two completely opposite emotions are meant to be together. it’s not hardwired into all mens brains.
and so many women of your acquaintance ‘like it rough’? do you mean they like to role play a little about being swept off their feet by a dangerous stranger whose mission is to give her multiple orgasms whilst her hands are bound with silk scarves, incense drifts amidst scented candles and the kids are at grannies? or do you mean getting dragged behind a dumpster, getting her nose broken and forced to her knees on broken glass and forced to give head to some guy with a filthy cock while he twists her hair half out of her head?
and for the record, you completely and utterly missed my point about the role of intelligent dark humour.
I think we can all agree on the bigger issue here… and that is their lack of humour, period. Those were jokes? Oh yeah, it was dark humour… k, I get it. I understand the whole chloroform meme. But that it was some weak, weak ass shit, something maybe a 11 year old might find funny. Surly a group of students who aspire to gaze into the enlarged canker sores of many a people could come up with something better than that.
Yes, I have a penis.
I think the time has come, Molly and Oceanchick to just ignore the shit out of RID. He’s as clueless.
As soon as he brought out the former abuse of his partner and the “your shit ain’t so bad in comparison” to defend his points, he became a lost cause. It’s terrible all that happened to his girlfriend, but that doesn’t diminish other crimes and violations against others.
That’s like saying “getting raped a little isn’t as bad as getting raped a lot, so you should stfu.”
Violating another human being in any way, shape or form is wrong and defending this as ‘not as bad’ or ‘not that bad’ makes one an apologist and that ain’t right.
Realist, the depth and breadth of your disconnect with reality is astounding. You are genuinely, actually fucked in the head, and you live in a bubble.
Furious Styles, don’t conflate your thinking about how the world ought be with how it actually is. If I live in a “bubble” – and perhaps I do – I suspect everyone does, because they just have their experience in their lifetime, and it’s personal, and they don’t know a great deal about what has happened with other people. I can’t walk in a woman’s shoes – I don’t believe I have said that I can – and despite your leap to conclusions I am fully cognizant of the fact that I as a male haven’t endured the same BS as women. Although a number of girlfriends (back in the day) and my wife have told me about harassment, discrimination, and abuse, I probably don’t emotionally completely “get it”, although I intellectually do…simply because am male, and it hasn’t happened to me.
Pretty Kitty, Furious Styles, Bad Dog Molly, Oceanchick: you can ignore me or dismiss my observations all you like. It is generally more convenient to avoid blunt truths, and stick with people who say what you want to hear, and be an ostrich. Our political system operates on this principle, so do most workplaces, and so do most conversations.
I said “getting raped a little” isn’t as bad as “getting raped a lot” when exactly? I’m pretty sure that I didn’t say anything remotely of the kind. And Mad Dog Molly, thanks for presenting the impression that I am aroused by the thought of a woman “getting dragged behind a dumpster, getting her nose broken and forced to her knees on broken glass and forced to give head to some guy with a filthy cock while he twists her hair half out of her head?” Seems to me that *you* phrased that, and I have no idea what kind of porn you watch or what has happened to you that you would even mentally imagine evil crap like that. Like I said, thanks for jumping to unfounded conclusions.
Pretty Kitty, *you* may like ascribing a “your shit ain’t so bad” thought to me, and I didn’t actually express it that way myself. If you’re so ready to demonize men, fill your boots. And yes, there are gradations of abuse. Whatever the OP is talking about sounds fairly trivial and mostly in her sensitive head – I doubt she’s ever had her eyes blackened, or her nose punched, or been called a pig when she’s slapped for not having dinner ready on time. Are you familiar with situations like this? Well, my wife is. I don’t think the OP is. And there *is* a difference.
Holy shit. You are a walking archetype of middle class white 50 something boomer cluelessness. ‘Don’t put words in my mouth!’ flows directly into ‘I bet OP isn’t a victim of abuse because…’
You are a bad person.
Furious Styles, you just – by your own comments – stereotyped every middle class 50 something boomer. But I guess it’s OK for you to be have opinions and be judgmental. It’s just not OK for anyone else to have a different opinion.
I am a bad person? So be it. Nobody else I know thinks so. Maybe you should revisit your therapist.
I think this entire excercise is you trying to mitigate the guilt you feel at still being attracted to those 15-16 year old hotties. I’m glad that no one you know thinks you are an asshole. The fact that you think that matters to me is my main problem with you. You are presenting personal annecdotes as the way of the world. It’s foolish.
I’m a middle class 50 something boomer who is ALWAYS being stereotyped; and now this? Jeezes!
RID, be aware that it is easy to be goaded on this board. Then you have to explain yourself, resulting in more goading. You explain your position again. Then people become offended. You end up in a Hell like no other! Oh yeah, then the Mod kicks you off… vicious circle.
No, state your position and if need be, ignore the ensuing cackling. There has to be movement on both sides in order for there to be movement down the centre…
Goading to commence in 5… 4… 3…
I can’t believe, out of thirty professional musicians, there isn’t one Italian in, in the group here. Come, let’s have a tarantella.
Did these guys commit an offence, assault, rape, on anyone ?
Did they post perverted comments/thoughts etc ?
I don’t know I was away working…but if they carried out any act of aggression toward anyone male or female , they should be charged & let the courts deal with it.
If they have decided to join a FB page of stupidity & attempt to 1 up the other in juvenile display of which idiot can be the biggest (aka the winner) of the deuce bag award…. then let it be dealt with by the school if its against some policy .
Otherwise shove the thought police as far up your rectums as you can get them, elbow deep ought to do it. After all having a fantasy isn’t illegal, talking about it may be creepy , but also rarely illegal. acting it out…AHHHH NOW We got something tangible to deal with.
Basically all you moral majority idiots can suck my ass. Freedom of thought , speech & expression should not be restricted by anyone, They should have a right to be dick heads, you should have a right to be pissed off.
Your rights shouldn’t be able to trump theirs , be pissed off fine.
But lynching them , or calling for an action that destroys their lives , when they have at worse been a bunch of incredibly stupid people who have pissed people off In My Opinion makes you even worse than they are.
They haven’t ruined anyones life….many of you are attempting to do that to them & consider it perfectly fine !
Who are the real monsters here ?
That’s not my clit!
Oh wait… wrong board!
Welcome back More! as I’m not sure how long you been away, I’ll give you a brief rundown of what has happened lately.
Ivan has posted his real pic – please don’t kill him. Meaty was killed off by the Mod. Yes, there is the formation of the Thought Police; exclusive to Halifax, this group insists global beliefs be held.
Both anti-sarcasm and anti-satire, the HTP are a voracious group living on differing comments, values and beliefs. Masters and mistresses (gonna lose my leg over that one) of the hunt, out of nowhere they will spring; your jugular being their target.
Currently, some of us are licking our wounds. May I suggest you don your battle armour and prepare for the onslaught?
*ominous loud booming voice*
You have been warned!
So, welcome back More!
LOL Hing Frogg
I have my ceramic reinforced angel wings folded & covering my back as always. My skins pretty think as well . But thank you for the warning.
Just as I feel I should be able to express myself here, whether what i say is popular or not with the other butchers shouldn’t matter 1 iota. IMO They should also be able to express themselves freely as well. The name calling etc. has never bothered me. As I have said in the past , you would have to be important to me, like my mother is , or my wife or other people who’s opinions I truly care about . Their condemnation would cause me concern Anything said to me by a stranger matters as much as a gnat’s wing beat in a lv 5 hurricane does.
I have noticed some of my posts have failed to appear, but that is probably more due to my inept use of my cellphone in attempting to post here ,when I was away…. than any censorship by the Mod(s)
I leave you all with my favourite Christmas message.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJZjR7xyyW…
Merry Christmas, try not to let the commercialism get you down ~;p
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
Good Morning, and thank you for all your superb insights. So many valid points to consider. I am most grateful.
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
WTF^^^?
Great comments on this thread and most surprisingly in the spirit of intelligent moderation (not site moderation. That can kiss my ass. But rage moderation.)
Here is where I stand. Human beings have instincts. Fine. But if we obeyed all the instincts we have in a day, we’d be sitting in trees screaming, naked, throwing shit at each other, fucking anything that moves and not showing up for work, drunk all the time. Nobody would know how to read and we’d barely have access to fire.
So, you know, you decide if that’s a good thing or not based on whether or not that’s the world you want to live in. But the instincts will be instincts excuse is lame. Curbing human instincts has continued to push us forward in our social evolution. So if you want to put that in reverse, then by all means, climb a tree, tear your clothing off and fling poop. Start a movement. Whatever.
Instincts are king is only really something nonsocial animals can get away with. You want to be around other people, start acting civilized.
RSVP
Hing Frogg (12/24, 11:24AM)
See Ivan Sonofabitch (12/21, 8:54AM) You obviously didn’t get my humour. Do I have to explain it?
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
hmmm i find the hypocrisy absolutely appalling. NOONE fucking bats an eye when Sara Silverman, Amy Schumer, Jennifer aniston makes rape jokes in their comedy act or movies…but by george!! when a male or males do it….PROTEST!! Where were the women protesting Horrible bosses….why werent women calling for Jennifer aniston’s head. OH thats RIGHT…feminism…thats the answer. THAT its OKAY for women to do it, without protest or outrage. But a male does it and lets start the public castrations and executions. Androgyny is as vile as mysogyny…dont be hypocrits..
To the ghost of Mr. Meaty – you were right, it’s only offensive when whitie does it