Q I’m a 23-year-old homo who came out one year ago. Life has done good and bad things to me. Good things include success in the intelligence lottery, a full ride to college and now a job with a six-figure income. Sadly, I find that my place in life is different from the place occupied […]
Dan Savage
Posted inLifestyle
On either side of the wall
Q My question is one of etiquette. My lesbian wife and I live in an apartment. The noise pollution between flats can be pretty bad. Anyone who lives in the building is aware of this, and keeping noise down after certain hours is a common courtesy. I wouldn’t play loud music after a certain hour, […]
Posted inLifestyle
Stars hollow: a sheath primer
Q I’m a Savage Lovecast listener, but I’m sending this question to your column because my boyfriend would FOR SURE recognize my voice if I called the show. I’m 25 and my boyfriend and I have been monogamous for five years. His dick is of average size. It’s not small enough for him to have […]
Posted inLifestyle
A run of quickies
Q Which is the bigger ask: a one-time, once-in-a-lifetime threesome or regular (and pretty damn elaborate) bondage sessions? –Ruling On Private Enquiry Required A Let me guess: Your partner is into bondage, ROPER, and you’re not. But you’ve been doing the hard work of tying him/her/some-other-point-along-the-gender-spectrum up for months, years or decades…and the partner you’ve […]
Posted inLifestyle
An assertive woman
Q I’m a cute, mostly straight, twentysomething, single and (safely) sexually active woman. This happens to me pretty often: I hook up with a guy, we start fooling around and we’re both really into it. I reach down, and he’s full sail. Things progress–clothes come off, etc–and, as is generally the polite order of things, […]
Posted inLifestyle
Oh wow, he’s a big kid now
Q I recently discovered that my 14-year-old stepson has been stealing, wearing, soiling and hiding his toddler sister’s pull-ups. I’ve found them after he hides them in his closet, which also serves as a general storage area. After discussions with him, I’m certain that wearing them is a pleasure thing for him. (He says “curiosity,” […]
Posted inLifestyle
Locked in a paradox box
Two excellent writers stepped in to answer the Savage Love Letter of the Day while I was on vacation, and I wanted to share two of their responses in the column this week. (The SLLOTD is blasted out to folks who have the Savage Love app.) First up is Daniel Bergner. He’s the award-winning author […]
Posted inLifestyle
Accidental parental woes
Q I’m a 25-year-old male. After a tragic set of circumstances, I am now the legal guardian of my 15-year-old brother. He’s gay. Fortunately, our parents took care of “the talk” and taught him how to use condoms. Unfortunately, he has started dating a senior at his school who is about to turn 18 and […]
Posted inLifestyle
Boys on the side
Q I’ve been mostly happily married for 15 years. I’m a straight man. I love my wife. We used to have a great sex life. But after many years, children and just day-to-day reality, our sex life is now pretty unsatisfying. While my wife was barely GGG at the beginning, now she will not go […]
Posted inLifestyle
Unprotected and worried
Q I am a young gay man who has been so freaked out by the idea of catching an STI that I haven’t gotten with anyone for two years. But last night, I hooked up with a cute 21-year-old FTM trans boy (on hormone therapy), and maybe because it was a person with lady parts, […]
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Pandora’s box of gay porn probs
Q I’m a 24-year-old woman who just ended a five-year relationship. It sucked. I cried. It was my first breakup, so I’ve felt totally insane for the last three months. Now I’m in the dating world, and I go out with people only to find that we have no physical chemistry. My mother says, “You’re […]
Posted inLifestyle
Down to lady business
Q I am a married 54-year-old post-menopausal woman. My libido has diminished significantly, and it takes me much longer to climax. My husband gets tired sooner and is unable to maintain an erection as long as he used to; this makes it even more difficult for me to climax. I have taken up an activity […]
