12 Rounds

Die Hard 2, Cliffhanger and The Long Kiss
Goodnight might not have been great action movies. But it’s hard to
believe they were by the same director who made 12 Rounds. Renny
Harlin dropped off immediately after making his best movie—1999’s
deliriously satisfying Deep Blue Sea (rated R for graphic shark
attacks, and for language). The lack of confidence in the plainly bad
12 Rounds finds Harlin trying to shoehorn the jigsaw-puzzle
barf-cam approach of the Bourne sequels to his action scenes.
Harlin was a better director when he was trying to be Tony Scott.

The 12 rounds of the title are a series of tasks cop-hero Danny
Fisher (WWE’s John Cena) must survive. Diamond thief Miles (Aidan
Gillen) wants revenge a year after Danny killed his girlfriend in the
line of duty. The games he sets make 12 Rounds similar to Die
Hard: With a Vengeance, but righteous retribution (nice psychopaths
don’t kill, they only try to trick you into dying) is back after the
popularity of the Saw films.

Despite the familiarity, this should have been fun. Casting Cena is
futile since the movie stupidly doesn’t feature any hand-to-hand
combat. Harlin knows how to shoot action better than this. Only one
scene excites: Danny and a friend try to escape from an elevator timed
to plummet many stories. It’s a variant on scenes in Speed and
Die Hard, but it has a fundamental understanding of suspense.
The friend whines, “I can’t die. I have a wife and kids.” Moments later
Danny looks at his friend’s body bag, while a voiceover-flashback
reminds us that he didn’t want to die and had a wife and kids. Yup,
it’s that kind of movie.

For showtimes, see Movie Times, page 19. Whining not
welcome at palermo@thecoast.ca.

This article appears in Apr 2-8, 2009.