hone Zombie! Yes, you there, walking down the street staring at your phone! You are a hazard to navigation! Perhaps you are even performing wreckless endangerment by dashing into the street without looking? Yes, it's true Phone Zombie, humans cannot walk past a mirror, window or TV screen without looking, even if it's CNN. But it is also true that each of us is part of nature.
Phone Zombie, somehow billions of cells are working within us and somehow working together—and hopefully for the long haul—if you are lucky. But Phone Zombie, in life there are no receipts, no guarantees, warranties or user manuals. Why? Because we simply do not know how to build a human. And we have no idea how it or the universe works. Some call it a miracle.
Phone Zombie, a disconnect from nature is a disconnect with reality. And you, like it or not, are nature. Phone Zombie, staring at a phone or any screen is unnatural behavior, especially in public. Some might consider it rude.
So Phone Zombie, I'm afraid you not only look like a fool but you are promoting a disconnect with nature. Please Phone Zombie, put the phone down, look around and enjoy the natural world. After all, this is Halifax where the water may be cold but the people are warm. You are free here. Free to say hi to old friends and make new ones—even when walking down the street.
You are missing out, Phone Zombie. And at the same time you are diminishing how essential the natural world is.
—The Illinois Enema Bandit